flower132 Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 Hi really need help understanding this situation! Me and my boyfriend went out last year and it was the best time of both of our lives, we instantly fell in love. He was loving, caring, understanding and we had a mutual love and trust for each other that was beyond comparison. I know nothing is perfect but that was the closest it can get. He was my pride and joy and i was equally his. He moved away for college to practically the other side of the world. After about a month all the constant fighting began. We were both still desperately in love with each other and didnt want to lose each other, but we had agreed to just be friends as i was in college back home and he was over there and it was unfair if we stayed a couple, though we both still felt we were a couple. We both partied alot etc and both got very jealous and insecure of the other person and began to resent each other, but not enough resentment to finally call it quits as we both still yearned for the other. Then he came home for a brief visit a few months later and promised he was not seeing anybody else and wanted to try make this long distance relationship work. I agreed. but by chance found out he was actually in a relationship with another girl from his new college and had been telling us both 'i love you' at the same time. however she did know about me because he often talked about me to her (this was proven). He said he was just using her as she had a car and he was stuck for lifts without her and that he only really saw her as a friend and was just lonely over there without me. I was heartbroken. I cut off all contact with him for three months and refused to speak to him. He was desperately upset for months, begging all my friends and telling everybody i knew how he loved me and was sorry and also told everybody at his college how much he desperately loved me and only me. he even did it publicially via instagram, twitter, facebook etc. everybody knew. i finally started speaking to him again after all his begging and yearning for months. but we began fighting again over silly things. He grew angrier and angrier and a few times said he wanted to kill himself and often threatened it. He grew into such an angry person that he began constantly verbally abusing me. i know he is in a place where there is a very angry and toxic environment so i made excuses for him. He also said he was depressed and some days would rather die than live. A few weeks ago he began giving me nasty verbal abuse, calling me names and trying to knock my self confidence, being aggressive and abusive. Afterwards he apologised and he said he only said those horrible things to me to push me away because he wants me to never want him back again because i deserve alot more than he can give me right now as he will be away for another three years, he said loves me and always will and wants me to just be happy and move on without him. He just came home for the second time. He has been going on for months for much he is looking forward to coming home and having a break from the toxic environment he is in and wants to just be happy with me for the short time he has at home before he must go back. But he has just grown angrier and this time has gone totally overboard. The verbal abuse started again and this time it is very public and ten times more horrific. he is now writing disgraceful things everywhere (facebook,twitter etc) about me trying to knock me and every day writing disgusting, horrific, abusive things to me by text, making sure i get in into my head the extent of the hatred he has for me. it is so bad i am forced to change my phone number. He has also become very controlling and manipulative, things he was far, afr from before. Ive known hes been very angry with the world for a while now but this behaviour i never knew he was capable of and did not see it coming. He has also made alot of enemies by giving verbal abuse on facebook directed at others, it is not just me he is angry with, but most is directed at me. m so hurt and utterly confused and dejected and cant concentrate on anything anymore, i even dream about it. i dont understand, its literally killing me! advice?
Philosoraptor Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 Sounds like he is unstable and you need to keep him out of your life. He is toxic and likely the cause of all of the toxic things in his own life. Block him in every way possible and work on moving on from this situation.
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