Theferolitos Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 I'm in desperate need of some advice! I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for two years now. Me being 29, him being 36. I have two wonderful kids, 1 being his son who is now going on 10 months old. I quite my job with his approval when I was pregnant with our son to be a stay at home mother. He is the only provider for our income. I'm a great stay at home mother, clean everyday, kids have schedules, dinner is always done, etc. Our relationship has been very tough, we both do get really frustrated with money. One of our family members are well to do but we hardly ask them for help because they provide for one of our siblings ( housing, bills for daily living ) I have found that in this relationship that I do everything, even what should be his work. Making phone calls for appliance that go out to me having to figure out what is wrong, to reminding him what his obligations are that he says he will complete. The only thing I can get him to do is go to work and mow the lawn. Is this normal? I've been married before but that relationship was equal and balanced, with both parties having responsibilities. I don't want to compare relationships, this is my reasoning with this!!! Thanks!!!
Philosoraptor Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 Does he help with the kids when he gets home? How intensive is his job? Sounds like he is either unmotivated or just burnt out when he gets home.
Author Theferolitos Posted July 23, 2013 Author Posted July 23, 2013 He works 12 hour shifts. Every two weeks they rotate from days to nights. I have to ask him for help with the kids, our Saint Bernard dog as well.
Philosoraptor Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 He works 12 hour shifts. Every two weeks they rotate from days to nights. I have to ask him for help with the kids, our Saint Bernard dog as well. How many days a week is he working? If he's doing 5-12 hours shifts it's gotta be draining.
Author Theferolitos Posted July 23, 2013 Author Posted July 23, 2013 It rotates from 2 off 3 on, off the weekend, than on 2 off 3 than working the weekend. Yes it's rough on him. I'm being honest when I say I am both woman and man in this relationship. Everything that you can think of I do but work and yard work that is done 1st every two weeks maybe.
Philosoraptor Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 Well if that's the case you need to find a way to figure out where the disconnect is. Sit down in a calm manner and ask him what he believes his role is in this relationship. Just because he is the breadwinner does not exclude him from other responsibilities, and I'm sure there was a time where he had to work and take care of everything else for himself. Marriage is a team game and if you're not working together you're not going to find happiness. Hopefully by talking to him in a nice calm manner you will be able to get to the bottom of the issue.
Author Theferolitos Posted July 23, 2013 Author Posted July 23, 2013 Thank you. I don't ask advise from friends or family members in fear of judging him. You answering me means a lot!
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