The concept of "Social Proof"

[Lansing]

Curious what people think about the idea of Social Proof. Where girls are attracted to guys that surround themselves with people (attractive people according to the PUA line of thought but I think just being friendly/being able to work a room/etc helps).

 

I friendzoned a girl that I met at an event about a month ago because I felt she was probably too young for me. She seems really impressed by my knowledge and people who I know and she was asking me about how I keep on top of everything/know so much and I was just like "that is what interests me, I am not one to sit around and do nothing". I met one of her friends on Friday and she ended up asking me the same thing after this girl told her some stuff about me.

 

Anyway, it got me thinking about "social proof" that I read about online years ago. How much of an attraction factor do you think it is?

 

It feels like she is trying to impress me in return at times by talking about her friends/places she has been/sharing stories about her partying/etc but this is more of a general topic about the idea of social proof and what people think.

[ThaWholigan]

Curious what people think about the idea of Social Proof. Where girls are attracted to guys that surround themselves with people (attractive people according to the PUA line of thought but I think just being friendly/being able to work a room/etc helps).

 

I friendzoned a girl that I met at an event about a month ago because I felt she was probably too young for me. She seems really impressed by my knowledge and people who I know and she was asking me about how I keep on top of everything/know so much and I was just like "that is what interests me, I am not one to sit around and do nothing". I met one of her friends on Friday and she ended up asking me the same thing after this girl told her some stuff about me.

 

Anyway, it got me thinking about "social proof" that I read about online years ago. How much of an attraction factor do you think it is?

 

It feels like she is trying to impress me in return at times by talking about her friends/places she has been/sharing stories about her partying/etc but this is more of a general topic about the idea of social proof and what people think.

 

Social proof and the degree in which it prerequisites attraction varies in importance depending on demographic. I have mingled in circles where social proof is everything, and as important as physical attraction if not more. There are varieties of ways in which you can increase yours, but the simplest way is to have a reputation as someone who, for lack of a better term, "gives value" rather than taking.

[Emilia]

Curious what people think about the idea of Social Proof. Where girls are attracted to guys that surround themselves with people (attractive people according to the PUA line of thought but I think just being friendly/being able to work a room/etc helps).

 

There are several female posters here who seem to think that what signals a man's desirability is the number of options he has so I'd say for those with a herd mentality (which would be a pretty large % of the population) this theory is reality.

[Southern Cal Dude]

Social proof is very legit. Guys will tell you that other women showed interest when they were surrounded by other women.

[white]

For the younger demographic it's very important. They need to see you with others, interacting, being sociable. If I was cruel I might say it's because they're still living in a high school mentality where the world is a giant popularity contest.

 

As you age and become truly independent, of mind not just body, you care less about other people liking who you like and more about you liking them.

 

I have noticed the effect personally. It turns me off to see it at work. Are you really that childish that I was only interesting when being entertaining to others? Go and date a ****ing clown.

[therhythm]

There are several female posters here who seem to think that what signals a man's desirability is the number of options he has so I'd say for those with a herd mentality (which would be a pretty large % of the population) this theory is reality.

 

 

yes... 100% in agreement with Emilia... while it does not work for every woman (fortunately) there is a large female population who feel attracted by social success.

[Pompeii]

Social proof is quite real.

[Divasu]

Yes, it's real. Why do you think Facebook is so popular.

[therhythm]

Name dropping...an attractive quality? Oh boy.

 

The social thing is probably quite a new term for you isn't it?

[T3h L337 d00d]

You "friendzoned" a girl because she was too young for you? That sounds ridiculous. How old are you, and how old is she. I mean I understand if you did it because she came off immature and you weren't attracted, but to simply reject her because of her age, I hope that's not the case. Does this have to do with your concept of social proof? Like it would destroy your proof to date such a young girl?

 

The concept of social proof has been around forever. Your reputation is everything always. Who you are seen with, how you dress and carry yourself, these are all very important things and of course can attract people. It seems though that they're also impressed with you smarts. They think you're smart cause of all the stuff you know. That's also attractive to some people.

[Lansing]

Name dropping...an attractive quality? Oh boy.

 

I never "name drop"... It is just a matter of running into people (i.e. when girls say "you know everyone" or when someone comes up in conversation and you have a story about them or whatever. I am not even talking about "celebrities" just people involved in the social scene.

 

I am 36 and I am guessing she is around 25/26. My first gut reaction when I met her was "she is young" but after I got to talking to her I enjoyed the conversation and she seemed relatively mature for her age. She is definitely attractive but I guess part of me wants someone a bit more established (not living the "party every weekend" life style, with 4 girls in a house/etc.

It is one of those things where I could tell we would get along well one and one, and maybe even with a friend or two but not that interested in going to parties with a bunch of 25 year olds. Just at a different stage of life I guess.

[T3h L337 d00d]

There are a lot of 20 something year old girls who think it's immature to go out to a bunch of parties and clubs and make that a focus in their life. I would be highly unattracted to a girl who still acts like a kid too but at 25/26 it really isn't her age but her own decisions making her that kind of person. Maybe she doesn't want that anymore. Maybe you're right about her and in that case good choice to keep your distance. You should change the preconceived notions you have about age though. Plenty of 30 something women who think it's cool to get drunk at parties and live for that and plenty of 20 somethings who don't.

[Lansing]

Yes, good points. But, to clarify, this opinion is based on things that I have learned about what she does for fun and how she spends her weekends. I wouldn't rule someone out on age alone. The last girl I dated was 8 years younger than me. Part of it might be the comment of what others thing. I had to defend dating the last girl so many times to friends that it got annoying. Maybe part of it is getting new friends that aren't jealous of me dating a younger girl

[tbf]

Social proof will be valued by competitive women who in essence, have low self-esteem since the competition mentality is more about hierarchical social standing between women, rather than the man involved. So if that's your target demographics, then it's worthwhile.

 

But if you're looking for someone independent and non-needy, don't bother with the tactic.

[RedRobin]

Another way to look at is independent confirmation that someone is are who they say they are...

 

Not necessarily predicated on social standing, per se... just that what you observe in their day to day life and around other people is consistent with what they say about themselves and what you observe as well.