little_me Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 Hi guys, I'm new to this, but have been so confused lately that I thought I would try here and see if anyone can help me. Basically, I started dating a guy about three weeks ago, everything seemed to be going really well, we had fun and a laugh when we went on our dates, then on the third week, he started the silaging at his farm (obviously he's a farmer) and I haven't been able to see him, he spoke to me everyday and said that he really misses me and wants to see me but that he needed to get everything done first as he was also going away for a few days at the beginning of this week. I was hoping that he would find time to see me one evening before he went away, even if it was only for an hour! but this did not happen. I don't know whether to believe him that he really truly was too busy to get to see me before he went away or if he really is not that interested in seeing me. My friend seems to think the later. Anyway, I also started the silaging at my farm a few days after, and I have a male friend come over and help at each harvest. This time, I offered to let him stay at mine rather than to travel the 10 miles to and fro everyday. After the first day of silaging we both came inside to relax before bed and decided to watch a little TV, I have been aware for a little while that my friend may have feelings for me a little stronger than just friendship, but have never considered that option as he is younger than I am... But this night, after a couple of drinks, one thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together and I can honestly say that it was amazing. The next morning when we woke up, he did not say anything about the night before or acknowledge it in anyway, we both got up, got dressed and carried on with the day as normal, neither acknowledging what had happened. Although I noticed that he seemed to be in high spirits that day and I kept catching him looking at me throughout the day and he would brush past me quite often when he didn't need to. After that days work, we pretty much repeated the previous evening, although it seemed to be a lot more passionate. Once again the next morning, neither of us acknowledged the night before either verbally or physically, we finished the day and he went home without even a hug or kiss goodbye. I now am really confused about what to do with the situation, do I carry on with normal with my friend as though nothing has happened and see what happens with the other guy, or forget the other guy and say something to my friend? sorry its so long guys, but figured you need the full picture to be able to help!
Philosoraptor Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 Sounds like you have a lot of chemistry with your friend. If there is nothing "exclusive" with either person, you're not doing any harm by dating them both. Some of the best relationships start as friendship. 1
white Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 Sounds like this buddy of yours enjoyed getting laid and no more. I wouldn't place your chips all on him right now.
happywithlife Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 You're in a bit of a messy situation. First ask yourself who you are more interested in pursuing. If its your friend, before you jump in the sack with him again, ask him what his intentions are. Find out if they line up with yours. I know its an awkward conversation, but you heart may be broken if you aren't on the same page. If its the person you have been dating, stop sleeping with your friend. That won't help your chances with the new guy. The person you have been dating a few weeks probably was pretty darn busy and tired from his farm work. If you own a farm, you know how demanding it can be, especially if he had other obligations than just silage. He did talk to you every day, so that shows interest. If you are interested in him arrange to go on a date after he gets back in town. That is one way to find out his interest level fast. If you really don't know who you would like to pursue, I would suggest to stop sleeping with your friend. Explain to him that you want to slow things down and casually date - go out and have fun together as a couple. You can casually date both men for a short bit until you know who you are more interested in. I would caution you not to sleep with either man though until you have made a dating decision as that will further complicate things.
crederer Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 Why are you waiting for him to bring up talking about it? You can bring it up too, communicating is an area that needs improvement with some men. Just ask him, if you've known him long enough it shouldn't be that difficult to talk about it.
MidwestUSA Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 Guy #1, who you cheated on, would have made time if he really liked you. So, he's not really interested anyway. Which should make the blow of your confession to sleeping around on him easier to take. Whether it works out with #2 is anyone's guess, but hey, don't turn down a good lay in the hay. You are going to confess, right?
pcplod Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 And they say that those who live and work with animals understand the birds and the bees. I guess that is that piece of old folklore shot to pieces. Hey, if you live on a farm, you must surely know what farmers and their lives are like? Surely is is more or less an open book? Well, maybe that is a tad unfair. I think that you may have to cast off into the wild, blue, unknown, yonder and risk asking, seeing he ain't telling. It mightr involve getting your ass shot off, but surely if you have to deal with sticking your hand up cows ar$es or whatever actually happens on a typical farm, surely another bit of squeamishness is neither here or there? Next time he goofballs you just say to him, "What are you smirking at, you big ape"? Love talk, that's all that's needed.
veggirl Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 Wow that's fked up. I feel bad for the first guy. Doesn't sound like guy 2 is interested in anything but sex. Seriously though TEN miles was "too far" for him to drive daily? Lol. So you invited him to slee over because of TEN miles? Sounds like you just wanted attention from a man.
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