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Moving On vs. Rebounding


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Posted

What's the difference?

 

I met a girl while on holiday, we've text each other every day since getting back, and up until last week I'd been pretty much all for meeting up with her (we live over 2 and a half hours away from each other).

 

But when it came to it, I just couldn't arrange to see her because I still miss and think about my ex every day, and thought it would be wrong to meet up. So I told the new girl that I couldn't do it as it felt like a rebound, and a risky and expensive one at that, what with the distance between us.

 

Logic said it wouldn't work, and my heart said I wasn't ready. However, if she was closer, would I have done the same? Was it just an excuse?

 

What exactly is the difference between moving on and rebounding? I just don't know, any more.

Posted

Moving on is when you couldn't care less if you saw your ex walk past you holding another dude's hand.

 

Moving on is when you can meet someone new, and never feel the need to bring up your ex, or their faults, to them. You'll only bring up your ex if actually questioned, and even then you'd probably feel like not saying much about them.

Posted

Moving on happens when you have no romantic emotional attachment to your ex.

Posted

Personally, I think there's a big difference. Rebounding is when the breakup is relatively fresh and you still have feelings for your ex but you try to date someone new to distract yourself or get back at them. Moving on is when you know you're ready to start fresh and the love for your ex is gone.

 

I think you did what your heart wanted you to do. If it was right with this girl, the distance wouldn't have mattered.

Posted

Based on your post, that totally sounds like a rebound.

 

Moving on is not caring about your ex and you don't think about her romantically at all while talking to other women/men.

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Posted

Thanks all, that's really appreciated.

 

I've been telling myself I've made a mistake all day, but I think I've just saved the new girl from worse heartbreak in the near future. I still get nervous about seeing my ex, and think about her everyday. I'd only have 'used' the new girl as a distraction, which wouldn't have been fair on her.

 

It's been really tough since a nasty break-up with my 'first love' a year and a half ago, and I've realised I've dated four girls since, getting seriously involved with one (my recent ex). I can't be that bad! It's better than nothing, but it's hard to shake the trauma of the first one, considering I spent so much time on her (nearly six years). I just don't trust my feelings and decisions any more.

 

This love game really isn't easy.

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