eugene1 Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 I love a girl and she means everything to me, we have been talking for 7 months and we have been through a lot. The reason I am asking is, 2 days ago I sent her another paragraph saying that I want to meet her and we have both finished college and school now for the summer, so it is ideal time for us to meet up, bearing in mind we live 2 hours away from each other but the train routes are very easy. So I sent her this paragraph about meeting and she replied "I want us to stay friends" now I cried after when she said that because I feel things very deeply sometimes and I am a very emotional person, especially when it comes to relationships, and I kept sending her messages on facebook every minute because she didn't respond, and I kept ringing her but she never picked up. So she blocked me on facebook. Again bearing in mind she blocked me before in the past because I added her former friend and he got really annoyed because she hates her now, don't know why obviously something happened, but me and her have so much in common, its been 7 months too which has gone too fast but she means a lot to me, I feel everything and anything is worthless without her, yesterday I literally sat on a chair in my living room and didn't do anything, just stared at walls and day dreamed. I want to know what to do next, and coming back to meeting her, I said "we can't meet" she said "why not" I said "because you don't want to" she said "I never said that" but I was in the park a couple of weeks ago on my own, and I told her that then she said she wished she was with me and that I can kiss her and cuddle her for as long as I want she said, and that I can kiss her, cuddle her, but not a relationship? I don't get it, we can't never talk again for just because I annoyed her? Is she worth it? Everything is so **** though without her, I can't do anything :'( I've been there for her, every time, when she broke up with her boyfriend, I was there for her and always have the time to talk. She said this too about 2 months ago " Well, even though you don't know it you really do mean so much to me, speaking to you really does make my day and it's something i always look foward too. The stuff with luke and then dewi, i'm sorry i can't imagine how you feel about it, and i don't ask dewi to write on my timeline, he just does it and i'm afraid if i tell him not too that he'll get mad at me or something. Even though you don't think it i do love you and losing you would affect me and not in a good way, you're so amazing a really nice person, and i would never hate you, hopefully you wouldn't either,sorry it's not that long but i tried" that's what she said to me :'( her mate actually said she doesn't hate me, I am just annoying Dewi is this guy who comments on every single picture of her saying she's perfect and stuff, really annoys me and she said she hated him and its over, but yet she's back talking to him? She has said things which don't make any sense and its a real shame because I will be honest here, I have liked about 12 girls in the past year, I've just been trying to find the right girl, either they are not interested, or something goes wrong, or there friends get involved, I'm the perfect boy, I will never treat anything like ****, let alone a girl, because her ex boyfriend treated her badly, our relationship would be like a film relationship, just been searching for the right girl and I honestly thought she was the one, even if we won't be together and we won't meet, I just need her in my life :'(
Janesays Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 She probably started out with some mild interest, but you gave her the creepy-desperate-stalker vibe and that killed it. Move on. This one is tanked. Seriously, I think you need to take a good, long hard look in the mirror because I don't think you realize how you come across. I got chills reading this email and if I knew this girl, I'd be calling her and telling her to get a gun and vicious dog....just in case. She says she just wants to be friend and you respond by crying and messaging her over and over and over again on facebook AND the phone? That's the kind of thing rapists do just before they start cutting the nipples off of redheads because they like to watch them bleed. Check yourself. 1
Mrlonelyone Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 I don't think it was right for the previous poster to go where they did in their advice but the end advice is the best. You sound young, there are other women in the world, you will find one that will make it simple and easy for you, at least in the beginning. 1
The Introvert Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 BLOCKING is a deal-breaker! Get to your feet, dust up and move on, you are delaying yourself on meeting someone else, I am seeing your significant other in a vision but get me right I am not a prophet. I know what emotional people are like cause I am one ,whatever you are going through you will understand better after a while............the dating game can drive you mad to death..........don't be faint -hearted.
ExpatInItaly Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 I love a girl and she means everything to me, we have been talking for 7 months and we have been through a lot. The reason I am asking is, 2 days ago I sent her another paragraph saying that I want to meet her and we have both finished college and school now for the summer, so it is ideal time for us to meet up, bearing in mind we live 2 hours away from each other but the train routes are very easy. So I sent her this paragraph about meeting and she replied "I want us to stay friends" now I cried after when she said that because I feel things very deeply sometimes and I am a very emotional person, especially when it comes to relationships, and I kept sending her messages on facebook every minute because she didn't respond, and I kept ringing her but she never picked up. So she blocked me on facebook. Again bearing in mind she blocked me before in the past because I added her former friend and he got really annoyed because she hates her now, don't know why obviously something happened, but me and her have so much in common, its been 7 months too which has gone too fast but she means a lot to me, I feel everything and anything is worthless without her, yesterday I literally sat on a chair in my living room and didn't do anything, just stared at walls and day dreamed. I want to know what to do next, and coming back to meeting her, I said "we can't meet" she said "why not" I said "because you don't want to" she said "I never said that" but I was in the park a couple of weeks ago on my own, and I told her that then she said she wished she was with me and that I can kiss her and cuddle her for as long as I want she said, and that I can kiss her, cuddle her, but not a relationship? I don't get it, we can't never talk again for just because I annoyed her? Is she worth it? Everything is so **** though without her, I can't do anything :'( I've been there for her, every time, when she broke up with her boyfriend, I was there for her and always have the time to talk. She said this too about 2 months ago " Well, even though you don't know it you really do mean so much to me, speaking to you really does make my day and it's something i always look foward too. The stuff with luke and then dewi, i'm sorry i can't imagine how you feel about it, and i don't ask dewi to write on my timeline, he just does it and i'm afraid if i tell him not too that he'll get mad at me or something. Even though you don't think it i do love you and losing you would affect me and not in a good way, you're so amazing a really nice person, and i would never hate you, hopefully you wouldn't either,sorry it's not that long but i tried" that's what she said to me :'( her mate actually said she doesn't hate me, I am just annoying Dewi is this guy who comments on every single picture of her saying she's perfect and stuff, really annoys me and she said she hated him and its over, but yet she's back talking to him? She has said things which don't make any sense and its a real shame because I will be honest here, I have liked about 12 girls in the past year, I've just been trying to find the right girl, either they are not interested, or something goes wrong, or there friends get involved, I'm the perfect boy, I will never treat anything like ****, let alone a girl, because her ex boyfriend treated her badly, our relationship would be like a film relationship, just been searching for the right girl and I honestly thought she was the one, even if we won't be together and we won't meet, I just need her in my life :'( Read the bolded parts again. I don't think you have bad intentions, but you're far, far too attached to this person and it would creep anyone out. It sounds like you've never met her and yet you believe you cannot live without her. Messaging and phoning her constantly are NOT the actions of the perfect boyfriend out of film relationship; they are the actions of someone who does not respect boundaries and is getting desperate. If this is obvious to a bunch of strangers on the internet who only know a few details, think of how glaring and intrusive it is to her. Why does her friend think you're annoying? And what type of messages were you sending this girl? Time for some self-reflection. You need to back way, WAY off here.
TheFinalWord Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 I've been there for her, every time, when she broke up with her boyfriend, I was there for her and always have the time to talk. She said this too about 2 months ago " Sorry about your heart break bro. Unrequited love is painful. The unrequited love paradox = the more you try to "win" the uninterested party, the more they will be repelled and the more you will be attracted. What you should do now is move on from this woman and stop repeating the same mistakes with future women. Start by giving an honest, objective, assessment of the situation. You do not have much in common with this woman. What you have done (which is typical with these scenarios, i.e. sitting inside daydreaming about her) is take disparate pieces of information and concoct a qualitative thesis of why she is your soul mate. Meanwhile, in reality, she has blocked you on FB, does not meet with you in real life, and said "friends only" (I'm guessing she said you would meet after the school year, hint: when someone keeps making excuses they are not interested in seeing you). You have not been through anything real together. Consoling her when she broke up with her ex, is not a real trial that the two of your faced together. That was for her benefit. Real trials either bring a couple closer or drive them further apart. You have not had a real trial. Love is not just about you being there for her, its also about her being there for you. In terms of future women, what you have to stop doing is being so available. Writing women poems and love letters is only romantic when they are in love with you. In the early stages, expressing your undying love (especially in the absence of a romantic setting, i.e. facebook), freaks women out b/c it comes across as desperate and stalker-like. Get to know a woman slowly, reveal things about yourself slowly, have other things going on in your life besides her. Have a standard and qualify women. In general, I would not recommend being a woman's counselor during her romantic failures if you are interested in her. You will be perceived more as a male girlfriend than a potential mate.
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