sunrise17 Posted October 27, 2004 Posted October 27, 2004 You all will probably think I'm crazy, but I wanted to see if anyone else has been in the same situation/gotten over it. I'll try to keep it short. I dated someone for 6 years (on and off), started when I was 13. It was a long distance relationship for about 2 of those years... and basically this was my soul mate, we were talking marriage, babies, together forever. He broke up with me and disappeared off the face of the earth. He told me he didn't love me and he had to break up. I didn't hear from him, and I moved on, got married, have kids. I decided to try and find him about 2 years ago when I was thinking of leaving my husband, and I found him. He was in the Marine Corps and going on float (6 month deployment), so we e-mailed back and forth about 2-3 times a week. My initial reason was to get some kind of closure... it didn't seem right the way he did it. Come to find out my mom had called him and basically said, stay away from her, she has 3 college scholarship offers and if she stays with you she won't go... don't mess up her life that way, you can't offer her anything. He says he realized she was right and broke up with me so I would go to college. I thought at first that he was full of crap, but I asked my mom and she confirmed (I was pissed at my mom but that's a whole nother message board). And he basically told me he has always loved me and will ALWAYS love me, but he's married w/2 kids and couldn't leave his wife because of the kids (which is admirable and I wouldn't expect him to). Also, he said that his family still talks about me all the time... we were all very close and his mom was my 2nd mom and his sisters were like my sisters. They all say I was the best thing that ever happened to him (doesn't say much for his wife There's alot more to our history, basically we've been through everything, he was my first... had a miscarriage... been engaged... long distance in several states... problem here is that I still have not gotten over him and it's been 10 years.... He literally was my soulmate. I love my husband very much, but I just can't get my first out of my head. I've tried e-mailing him, but he basically said if his wife found out he was talking to me, she would kill him (not literally, but you know what I mean). And although I can appreciate he wants to keep his current marriage on peaceful grounds... I still have unanswered questions that I feel I need answered to get closure. Can anyone give me any suggestions on how to handle this.
sami Posted October 27, 2004 Posted October 27, 2004 what do really want from him. You are both married. Do you want him to spice you up and turn your white bread into a whole wheat one.
Mr Spock Posted October 27, 2004 Posted October 27, 2004 Being dumped takes a LOT to get over. Do yourself a favour, stop dredging up the past. If you're unhappy, leave your husband. He has told you why. Now let it go. It may even help you to go into therapy if it's screwing up your life this much. Respect his boundaries.
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