john 07 Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 I have dated a girl for about a year now. We get along great and have got very close over this year. We just got back from a mini vacation yesterday and today she asks me if she can have some time to think to herself. I was shocked because my first reaction is whats wrong. She says she wants to think about her self, what she wants, if she can become a great person to me, if I can become a great person for her, how she can do more for this relationship. She says she wants time just until this saturday. Saturday is our 1 year anniversary. I told her to take the time to think but Im very worried. From my past experience and seeing other friends experiences, asking for a break is negative. Shes asking for time because she feels something is wrong and she needs time to think it over. I dont plan on contacting her. We made plans for saturday at a restaurant and she said she will be waiting for me there this saturday. I told her take more time but she said saturday is plenty time which is like 5 days total. Honestly i dont know what to think. Im in love and plan to marry her one day. Why do girls ask for breaks and should I view it as something negative?? What are your experiences? Thanks all.
MrNate 2.0 Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 The best thing to do here is keep your options open.
MrNate 2.0 Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 The best thing to do here is keep your options open. I've never understood the idea of taking a 'break' in a relationship. Either it's on, or it's not. And it kind of seems like she's second guessing things. If it were me, I'd probably start to detach emotionally from this. 3
gaius Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 If she needs time to think only a year in then she's probably not going to marry you. So while she's busy thinking you need to get busy dating.
jphcbpa Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 Nothing you can do to control her or change her. Just be who you are this week. Do not contact her and do not over think this. AGAIN, DO NOT CONTACT HER!!! show her you can give her the gift of missing you. regardless of what she says on Sat., DO NOT get emotional either way. Just listen to her and keep it light and fun. Do NOT let her think you are worried or sweating this. Remain Calm!!!! 1
skydiveaddict Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 I have dated a girl for about a year now. We get along great and have got very close over this year. We just got back from a mini vacation yesterday and today she asks me if she can have some time to think to herself. You are done. Be prepared to get sent to friendzone prison. 4
Woop1337 Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 Man, you probably suffocated her during your mini vacation. Then again, most of the time women get turned off gradually. So whatever happened during ur mini vacation, broke the camels back. Break up with her, take the loss, and have an internal discussion with yourself. What did you do wrong to turn her off.
BluEyeL Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 I say wait and see what she says on Saturday, maybe something happened on vacation. It's just 5 days. In the meantime, don't contact her, let her have her space. You'll find out soon enough, get busy with your life (not dating, it's just less than a week).
therhythm Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 I have dated a girl for about a year now. We get along great and have got very close over this year. We just got back from a mini vacation yesterday and today she asks me if she can have some time to think to herself. I was shocked because my first reaction is whats wrong. She says she wants to think about her self, what she wants, if she can become a great person to me, if I can become a great person for her, how she can do more for this relationship. She says she wants time just until this saturday. Saturday is our 1 year anniversary. I told her to take the time to think but Im very worried. From my past experience and seeing other friends experiences, asking for a break is negative. Shes asking for time because she feels something is wrong and she needs time to think it over. I dont plan on contacting her. We made plans for saturday at a restaurant and she said she will be waiting for me there this saturday. I told her take more time but she said saturday is plenty time which is like 5 days total. Honestly i dont know what to think. Im in love and plan to marry her one day. Why do girls ask for breaks and should I view it as something negative?? What are your experiences? Thanks all. Sorry to break this to you but in the 90% of this cases there is a third person in the "I need some time to think" situations... She is thinking to leaving you for some other guy or she is already having fun with him... This is at least my reading on it ....
little_me Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 Personally, I don't agree with any of the comments above, I haven't looked at any of their profiles but I'm guessing that they are all men ... The reason for her wanting to take a break could be as simple a reason as the fact that her emotions may well be overwhelming her. Did you both have a really good time on your vacation? Did you feel as though you connected well? If so it may be that she is realising that she has strong feelings for you and wants to take some time out to establish if the feelings are true or whether they have just been brought on by spending time together so closely for the vacation. I would say, be patient, wait and see what happens on Saturday, because I would say if she is meeting you for a meal on your one year anniversary it's very unlikely that she is going to break up with you. I also disagree with everyone saying do not contact her! That's crap, give her a text or something maybe on Thursday just to see how she is, so that she knows your thinking of her, this may be a test for her to see if you really are interested in her, just make sure you don't come across as needy and possessive because that is enough to send any girl running. I hope this helps
therhythm Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 Personally, I don't agree with any of the comments above, I haven't looked at any of their profiles but I'm guessing that they are all men ... The reason for her wanting to take a break could be as simple a reason as the fact that her emotions may well be overwhelming her. Did you both have a really good time on your vacation? Did you feel as though you connected well? If so it may be that she is realising that she has strong feelings for you and wants to take some time out to establish if the feelings are true or whether they have just been brought on by spending time together so closely for the vacation. I would say, be patient, wait and see what happens on Saturday, because I would say if she is meeting you for a meal on your one year anniversary it's very unlikely that she is going to break up with you. I also disagree with everyone saying do not contact her! That's crap, give her a text or something maybe on Thursday just to see how she is, so that she knows your thinking of her, this may be a test for her to see if you really are interested in her, just make sure you don't come across as needy and possessive because that is enough to send any girl running. I hope this helps Yep... we are all guys... and some of us have dated girls who needed time for themselves so we can also speak from experience 3
skydiveaddict Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 Personally, I don't agree with any of the comments above, I haven't looked at any of their profiles but I'm guessing that they are all men ... The reason for her wanting to take a break could be as simple a reason as the fact that her emotions may well be overwhelming her. Aw c'mon. He's getting sent down the road and you know it. 5
Madman81 Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 Personally, I don't agree with any of the comments above, I haven't looked at any of their profiles but I'm guessing that they are all men ... The reason for her wanting to take a break could be as simple a reason as the fact that her emotions may well be overwhelming her. Did you both have a really good time on your vacation? Did you feel as though you connected well? If so it may be that she is realising that she has strong feelings for you and wants to take some time out to establish if the feelings are true or whether they have just been brought on by spending time together so closely for the vacation. I would say, be patient, wait and see what happens on Saturday, because I would say if she is meeting you for a meal on your one year anniversary it's very unlikely that she is going to break up with you. I also disagree with everyone saying do not contact her! That's crap, give her a text or something maybe on Thursday just to see how she is, so that she knows your thinking of her, this may be a test for her to see if you really are interested in her, just make sure you don't come across as needy and possessive because that is enough to send any girl running. I hope this helps As a guy who's been through this, I agree with the other posters. For whatever reason, rightly or wrongly, she's questioning her commitment to you. It doesn't necessarily mean there's another guy in the picture. But I'd be willing to bet that it means that, for whatever reason, she doesn't feel that you "rev her engine" anymore. If you did, she'd have difficulty wanting to be away from you for five days. There's a very simple way to test this: DON'T contact her during the five days. If I'm wrong in my suspicions, she'll contact you during the five days and express something about missing your or ask if you miss her. (And if she asks if you miss her, put the question back to her without answering.) The fact is that she's asking you to put your life on hold for five days while she figures out if she still wants to be with you. If you care about her, don't go out and date/sleep with other women during this time; give her that much respect. But by all means, get out and see your friends. Fill your time with activity and other commitments. Hit the gym. Do fun stuff. That way, by the time you see her on Saturday, you haven't spent five days moping and you'll be much more confident and able to take a breakup, if it comes to that. In short, don't spend five days pining for her. That's her job. 4
therhythm Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 As a guy who's been through this, I agree with the other posters. For whatever reason, rightly or wrongly, she's questioning her commitment to you. It doesn't necessarily mean there's another guy in the picture. But I'd be willing to bet that it means that, for whatever reason, she doesn't feel that you "rev her engine" anymore. If you did, she'd have difficulty wanting to be away from you for five days. There's a very simple way to test this: DON'T contact her during the five days. If I'm wrong in my suspicions, she'll contact you during the five days and express something about missing your or ask if you miss her. (And if she asks if you miss her, put the question back to her without answering.) The fact is that she's asking you to put your life on hold for five days while she figures out if she still wants to be with you. If you care about her, don't go out and date/sleep with other women during this time; give her that much respect. But by all means, get out and see your friends. Fill your time with activity and other commitments. Hit the gym. Do fun stuff. That way, by the time you see her on Saturday, you haven't spent five days moping and you'll be much more confident and able to take a breakup, if it comes to that. In short, don't spend five days pining for her. That's her job. Basically the bold marked above.... if she was feeling it for you she would not want to be away from you for 5 days
little_me Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 but here's the thing, you may have dated girls that have needed a break before, and maybe it was because they weren't interested any more, but that doesn't mean that this guys girl is the same, I've done it before, where I've said I needed a break, and it wasn't because I wanted to break off the relationship, it was purely because I needed time to think about where our relationship was going, and how the guy really felt about me, I don't think that you can get an accurate picture of how you feel if you are constantly around the other person, sometimes you just need the me time
jphcbpa Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 Give her what she asked for. Give her the gift of missing you.
therhythm Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 but here's the thing, you may have dated girls that have needed a break before, and maybe it was because they weren't interested any more, but that doesn't mean that this guys girl is the same, I've done it before, where I've said I needed a break, and it wasn't because I wanted to break off the relationship, it was purely because I needed time to think about where our relationship was going, and how the guy really felt about me, I don't think that you can get an accurate picture of how you feel if you are constantly around the other person, sometimes you just need the me time If OP was to update us in 5 days I would be willing to make a bet on it.... This is a easy case... 1
skydiveaddict Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 but here's the thing, you may have dated girls that have needed a break before, and maybe it was because they weren't interested any more, but that doesn't mean that this guys girl is the same, Yes it does. Why won't girls ever just come out and say it? Why all the "I need space" bs when that isn't what they mean at all?
little_me Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 Yes it does. Why won't girls ever just come out and say it? Why all the "I need space" bs when that isn't what they mean at all? That's a very narrow minded and naive comment to make, just shows guys really do know next to nothing about females.
GorillaTheater Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 That's a very narrow minded and naive comment to make, just shows guys really do know next to nothing about females. Which in turn appears suspiciously like a very narrow minded and naive comment to make. The guys are right. My advice is to be a good-ender, OP. "I agree, I think we both need some time and space. I enjoyed being with you, and wish you nothing but the best in the futrue." 5
skydiveaddict Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 That's a very narrow minded and naive comment to make, just shows guys really do know next to nothing about females. Right. And when the op shows up a few days from now telling us how he got dumped, you can explain it to all of us idiot men.
therhythm Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 Which in turn appears suspiciously like a very narrow minded and naive comment to make. The guys are right. My advice is to be a good-ender, OP. "I agree, I think we both need some time and space. I enjoyed being with you, and wish you nothing but the best in the futrue." You man are becoming my favorite LS poster of the month 1
MrNate 2.0 Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 Which in turn appears suspiciously like a very narrow minded and naive comment to make. The guys are right. My advice is to be a good-ender, OP. "I agree, I think we both need some time and space. I enjoyed being with you, and wish you nothing but the best in the futrue." Agreed. Even if opinions differ, there's no reason to be disrespectful. Actually, that poster just posted a new thread. I think it's safe to say she knows next to nothing about men as well. 2
Treasa Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 She says she wants to think about her self, what she wants, if she can become a great person to me, if I can become a great person for her, how she can do more for this relationship. Shes asking for time because she feels something is wrong and she needs time to think it over. Dude, get ready to be dumped or jerked around. People, male or female, generally don't ask for breaks unless they're unhappy. And she even said she feels something is wrong. It's possible that she might just want some time to herself. I go through phases like that. But I have NEVER told a boyfriend, "I need to take a break, I'm wondering if you can become a great person to me, something feels wrong..." I say, "Sorry, but I just want some time away from everyone so I can reset. I'm just going into my Traci cave, but contact me if you need me." 4
Treasa Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 Why is one gender-based statement answered with another gender-based statement? BOTH men and women do this "I need time to think" ****, and there are people of both genders who "get it" and who are absolutely clueless. Anyway, OP, start living your life. Find a woman who wouldn't dream about "taking a break" from you. 2
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