Mws Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 Happy birthday! ( I am in cambodia so it is your bday here) I know we ended rough but this will be the first time we haven't spent your birthday together in 5 years and I want you to know I hope is amazing, and you aren't having too much trouble with the number 25. I've had a lot of time to think while over here and I'd really like if we could go for coffee or dinner when I get back. Anyway hope your days great. This was a trip we both where suppose to go on. This is a ****ty thing for her to do am I right? We have been broken up for 3 months.
supaflyz Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 I don't really knwo what to say man. I mean yall broke up, but she did wish you a happy birthday. Some people have an ex that doesn't care to wish them a happy birthday. You are still young. She is in Cambodia and is thinking of you rather than having fun and not giving a fu-k about you. Ultimately it is base on your decision whether you want to contact her. It seems like you still have a lot of anger in your heart. I felt the same way when my ex told me all the things and stuff I did for her was materialistic. I mean I learn how to cook for this person. I spent my last dime on her. I wrote her letters poems. It was just like a slap to my face. I was so angry at her, but that anger has subsided. I think you should take a few days or maybe even weeks to see how you feel by then. Then you could make a decision on whether you want to contact her or not. You know one thing I learn in my relationship? To never talk to the other person when I'm mad because only bad things will come out of it. That is my advice my friend. Happy birthday! ( I am in cambodia so it is your bday here) I know we ended rough but this will be the first time we haven't spent your birthday together in 5 years and I want you to know I hope is amazing, and you aren't having too much trouble with the number 25. I've had a lot of time to think while over here and I'd really like if we could go for coffee or dinner when I get back. Anyway hope your days great. This was a trip we both where suppose to go on. This is a ****ty thing for her to do am I right? We have been broken up for 3 months. 3
Talulah Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 My ex is in Cambodia too . I don't think that she sent you anything mean. For my birthday this year, (after we broke up), I hosted a dinner and my ex did not have money to g out because he had payed for all his tickets and travels. Yet, he took his money jar (which he was saving for the end) and went to the bank and turned it in for cash. Just, so he could for my birthday dinner. I'll never forget that, how sweet of him it was. It's been a year, go out with her when she gets back, let her make the first move and then go out with her, you never know.
Chi townD Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 I don't think her intention was to be mean, but I do think that what she did was in bad taste. I mean, you were supposed to be on that trip too. And for her to text you WHILE on that trip is pretty sucky. And for her to say that she's had time to think things over. Well, big frickin deal. You're not on her timeline anymore. Ignore it and move on. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 1
Author Mws Posted July 23, 2013 Author Posted July 23, 2013 I don't think her intention was to be mean, but I do think that what she did was in bad taste. I mean, you were supposed to be on that trip too. And for her to text you WHILE on that trip is pretty sucky. And for her to say that she's had time to think things over. Well, big frickin deal. You're not on her timeline anymore. Ignore it and move on. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Thanks mang, agree with you. Doubt I will meet her, no point.
singme2sleep Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 I don't really knwo what to say man. I mean yall broke up, but she did wish you a happy birthday. Some people have an ex that doesn't care to wish them a happy birthday. You are still young. She is in Cambodia and is thinking of you rather than having fun and not giving a fu-k about you. Ultimately it is base on your decision whether you want to contact her. I have to agree. ^ If you don't meet up with her, his will you feel? Might you always wonder what would have happened?
xilver Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 Read the other bday posts on here. Most people aren't sure whether to say happy bday or not. And most people advise to not say happy bday to an ex. The fact that she did was not mean at all. She probably went against everything everyone told her and set her fears aside. She has no idea how you will respond but she still did it. That being said you don't owe her anything and if you are happy with not being with her then leave it at that, but don't be so blind to think that it was mean of her to tell you happy bday. 1
Author Mws Posted July 24, 2013 Author Posted July 24, 2013 Problem is, I don't want to reopen the can of worms that comes with her. Good or bad. As much as I did like her that scares the piss outta me
xilver Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 Problem is, I don't want to reopen the can of worms that comes with her. Good or bad. As much as I did like her that scares the piss outta me that's understandable too. sometimes you have to lie to yourself and paint a picture of them that doesn't exist in order to get over a person or stay away from them.
Author Mws Posted July 24, 2013 Author Posted July 24, 2013 Note, She broke up with me then started dating some one before she left and said she wasnt going to break up with him. I forgot to mention that. So I am really confused as to why she would want to meet up. Havent responded yet.
Talulah Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 Note, She broke up with me then started dating some one before she left and said she wasnt going to break up with him. I forgot to mention that. So I am really confused as to why she would want to meet up. Havent responded yet. Sounds like she is playing games. Wants to be in contact for whatever reason. So, now I understand. Don't respond. Let her message tou, a coyple if more times.
crederer Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 (edited) Well, she's thinking about you at least. I don't think it was meant to be mean. You sound like you don't want to do it, so don't. But if you do want to meet her deep down, and don't, you may always wonder what could have been. When I broke up with one of my ex's, I didn't send her a happy bday text because quite frankly, I wasn't even thinking about her. It wasn't until about a month later that I thought, "oh, it was her bday last month". Just don't get too excited about it. That's my two cents. Edited July 24, 2013 by crederer
Author Mws Posted July 25, 2013 Author Posted July 25, 2013 Well, I am a bit pissed just because I am not on that trip because of her and what not. Her bday is next week. I am curious as to why she wants to meet. But I am scared that it might bring back ****ty feelings that I have worked so hard to get over
Chi townD Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 Note, She broke up with me then started dating some one before she left and said she wasnt going to break up with him. I forgot to mention that. So I am really confused as to why she would want to meet up. Havent responded yet. I have to point out a typo to you. I don't think you did it intentionally. The last sentence in this post has the word yet in it. I think you were trying to hit the period key and the Y.E.T. keys got in the way.
WordvAction Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 Breadcrumbs mate, breadcrumbs. She wants to have her cake and eat it too. You know that starting up a conversation will open up that wound again; it's the stupid irrational side that wants that feeling you HAD with her again. It's like an addiction. It's not easy and there are times where it's going to hurt like hell. There's will be temptations and your mind will try and justify a reason even though you know deep down inside it will just be hurting you. But if you stay strong you will recover and then wonder what it was about this "addiction" that had you so drawn in the first place. Just my two cents
Author Mws Posted July 25, 2013 Author Posted July 25, 2013 Breadcrumbs mate, breadcrumbs. She wants to have her cake and eat it too. You know that starting up a conversation will open up that wound again; it's the stupid irrational side that wants that feeling you HAD with her again. It's like an addiction. It's not easy and there are times where it's going to hurt like hell. There's will be temptations and your mind will try and justify a reason even though you know deep down inside it will just be hurting you. But if you stay strong you will recover and then wonder what it was about this "addiction" that had you so drawn in the first place. Just my two cents Ok so what are breadcrumbs exactly? I have heard this term used several times on this site. Also what is throwing me off is why is she wanting to go for dinner?
xilver Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 Note, She broke up with me then started dating some one before she left and said she wasnt going to break up with him. I forgot to mention that. So I am really confused as to why she would want to meet up. Havent responded yet. Ok so she decided to move on and was serious about it. She might just feel bad for you and that's why she said it. You gotta brush it off and concentrate on getting yourself happy again. If it is too much to say thanks then leave it alone. If she really cares that much she will text you again.
xilver Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 Well, I am a bit pissed just because I am not on that trip because of her and what not. Her bday is next week. I am curious as to why she wants to meet. But I am scared that it might bring back ****ty feelings that I have worked so hard to get over So instead of saying thanks tell her why you are pissed. She'll understand and again if she cares she will try to remedy the situation.
daftpunk Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 I don't know that this is a "breadcrumb". A breadcrumb is when your ex drops little tidbits on you but avoids any sort of commitment. "I miss talking to you", "I've missed you", "I think about you constantly", etc. And maybe they do miss you, but they're not at a point where they're willing to do anything about it. The moment you ask them to, they will pull back. When someone flat out asks you to go out and get coffee with them, then that's something more concrete you can work with. Of course, only you can be the judge of whether or not you want to. If you're having doubts, it may be best to just ignore her advances and continue moving on. Just do what feels right in your heart.
Chi townD Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 Another thing about breadcrumbs is that they can be an ego boost to them. They get to see that you're still interested in them even after all the crappy things they did to you.
Author Mws Posted July 25, 2013 Author Posted July 25, 2013 (edited) I have decided I want to meet up with her, only if she contacts me again. Her birthday is also next week should I wish her a happy bday even though I havent responded to this? Thanks all for your input. Also I dont believe she is just wanting to meet up because she feels sorry for me, she could easily do that over a text/phone call like she has before. I havent given any hints at all if I still am into her for a long ass time. Edited July 25, 2013 by Mws
daftpunk Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 I have decided I want to meet up with her, only if she contacts me again. Her birthday is also next week should I wish her a happy bday even though I havent responded to this? Thanks all for your input. Also I dont believe she is just wanting to meet up because she feels sorry for me, she could easily do that over a text/phone call like she has before. I havent given any hints at all if I still am into her for a long ass time. Yep, just keep your expectations low. That way if she pulls back, you won't be surprised. And if things work out, you'll be pleasantly surprised. You're in charge now. The ball isn't in her court anymore, it's in yours. People can change if they want to. People can learn, people can grow. But they'll always be human.
Diamondawg Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 Problem is, I don't want to reopen the can of worms that comes with her. Good or bad. As much as I did like her that scares the piss outta me Dont open the can then, move on. good luck
Author Mws Posted July 26, 2013 Author Posted July 26, 2013 Ok guys, so I am asking for more advice. I do want to meet her but I am curious if i should not respond at all. Or respond play it cool. She is still gone for another 20 days and her birthday is next week. I need some advice on how to go about this. Thank you in advance.
daftpunk Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 Ok guys, so I am asking for more advice. I do want to meet her but I am curious if i should not respond at all. Or respond play it cool. She is still gone for another 20 days and her birthday is next week. I need some advice on how to go about this. Thank you in advance. If you want to meet her, you can respond. But you need to keep your emotions under control, no matter what. Keep control of yourself at all times, and don't just act like you've got it together. Be that guy.
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