Ceara Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 I got to find out from a mutual friend that the guy I'm interested in thinks that I am intimidating. I work with him, and see him a lot during the week. It's pretty relaxed atmosphere, so we have time to speak and we even hung out a few times outside work, but always in a company of other people. Now, the more I get to know him the more I am interested in him and getting to know more of him. He was always the one inviting me over to hang out, but he's a very friendly guy, so it's difficult to read him. I tried to invite him out once, but he politely refused, but didn't make other plans with me. Which made me believe that he is not interested in me romantically. I have been making myself more approachable with him and definitely making an effort to be more open and not shy. I want to find out if he's interested romantically. Does finding someone intimidating mean that they are interested, but don't feel welcome to take that step? Or does it mean that he's just not interested? I'm so puzzled.
charlietheginger Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 Its usually the guy feels he isnt good enough. Maybe he isn't tall Crooked nose redhair Drives a junky car Something that he himself feels self conscious about...
ascendotum Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 I want to find out if he's interested romantically. Does finding someone intimidating mean that they are interested, but don't feel welcome to take that step? Or does it mean that he's just not interested? I'm so puzzled. When I read that you invited him out, and he refused but did not offer alternative plans, I thought nah, he's not as into you as you would like. However, when you hear from a third party that he thinks you are intimidating it is not so clear cut anymore. It could easily be both situations just as you wonder as above....which does not help your situation. You have a mutual friend, well I would use her/him to subtly find out more about how he feels about you. If you want to take the risk maybe have your friend mention to him how he/she thinks you fancy this guy, and get feedback on his reaction. If its positive your friend could do you a favour and prod him to ask you out.
phineas Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 Its usually the guy feels he isnt good enough. Maybe he isn't tall Crooked nose redhair Drives a junky car Something that he himself feels self conscious about... Looks at "redhair" looks at poster's name. hmmmm Maybe some of that or OP is just really really hot & he doesn't think she'd go for him. 2
Author Ceara Posted July 25, 2013 Author Posted July 25, 2013 Actually, yes, he was interested, but he's just started dating someone now. This is even more puzzling I think my friend may have made a bigger deal out of this than it apparently was for him... Thanks for your replies guys
smile1983 Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 Its usually the guy feels he isnt good enough. Maybe he isn't tall Crooked nose redhair Drives a junky car Something that he himself feels self conscious about... What is wrong with red hair? I happen to love red hair. 3
SJC2008 Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 What is wrong with red hair? I happen to love red hair. I'm a redhead and I feel like women aren't attracted to red heads as much as other men. 1
charlietheginger Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 What is wrong with red hair? I happen to love red hair. Its a problem ive delt with my entire life.... Im 36 in my teens girls gabbed about river phoenix,christian slater,jonny depp Brad pitt ,antonio banderas being soooo hot. When women Talk about their dream man its "oh tall dark handsome blue eyes" blah blah blah. Well im 5"9 redhair green eyes. I had to face reality at a young Age im not what women want. After my 10yr marriage failed 2 Yrs ago. I just said screw it ill never find another woman. I spent a entire yr just working workingout eating healthy. Im in great shape and all ive heard from women im" one of the Good looking gingers" every time i try to talk or ask out a women I can't. I met a beautiful women a few months ago at the gym As we spoke i looked deep into her eyes i started thinking she doesn't Want me im not tall dark and handsome. i started to tear up and Told her i had to get going. Its hard being different living in a society where everyone Wants tall dark and handsome. W
SJC2008 Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 Its a problem ive delt with my entire life.... Im 36 in my teens girls gabbed about river phoenix,christian slater,jonny depp Brad pitt ,antonio banderas being soooo hot. When women Talk about their dream man its "oh tall dark handsome blue eyes" blah blah blah. Well im 5"9 redhair green eyes. I had to face reality at a young Age im not what women want. After my 10yr marriage failed 2 Yrs ago. I just said screw it ill never find another woman. I spent a entire yr just working workingout eating healthy. Im in great shape and all ive heard from women im" one of the Good looking gingers" every time i try to talk or ask out a women I can't. I met a beautiful women a few months ago at the gym As we spoke i looked deep into her eyes i started thinking she doesn't Want me im not tall dark and handsome. i started to tear up and Told her i had to get going. Its hard being different living in a society where everyone Wants tall dark and handsome. W Do you get attention from black women? Black women LOVE me! 1
LaFemmeBrille Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 (edited) I, too, wonder exactly what that term means! Either context, it means you are seen as slightly unapproachable. Best to send him a few body language cues to show your interest: smile, glance away, smile more. Be soft and the lovely lady you are. When a man really wants something, he almost always goes for it. Oh, just read your update. Well, it sounds like he finds you attractive but being taken would definitely be a reason why he wouldn't approach... Hehe Edited July 26, 2013 by LaFemmeBrille ETA
charlietheginger Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 Do you get attention from black women? Black women LOVE me! Yes there is a subculture of black women who love light Skinned men. Pale skin blonde hair blue eyes Redhair green eyes Im finding myself being drawn to them more and more. In life ive learned that you can't try pursuing women that don't Want you. Im going to have to adjust to dating the women who will I don't want a getto black women. A nice black women will do Its a leap i didn't want to take but ill probably end up doing
phineas Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 I'm a redhead and I feel like women aren't attracted to red heads as much as other men. That is because ginger's have no soul. 2
TheGuard13 Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 Sometimes "intimidated" is code for him not feeling that she is not feminine enough for him to feel "superior"/"like the man". For some guys this is an issue.
smile1983 Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 I'm a redhead and I feel like women aren't attracted to red heads as much as other men. This is a generality. I think I am more attracted to redheads but you do not see them a lot in the movies and stuff. When I was a little girl I read Anne of Green Gables and she kept harping on her red hair. I kept wondering, why would you not want red hair? It is unique and beautiful. I also like freckles
Mr.Mango Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 Actually, yes, he was interested, but he's just started dating someone now. Um...case closed then? Intimidation is usually accompanied by interest. It's always a hurdle though, that someone needs to get past.
dasein Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 "Intimidating" is just a tossoff, a brushoff he could have worded better or more thoughtfully, don't try to puzzle it out or take it personally. IMO it has about a 10%chance of being sincere. He knows you are interested and knows where to find you. Would move on to other options, preferably not at work. Good luck.
Author Ceara Posted July 27, 2013 Author Posted July 27, 2013 Um, yup, case closed for sure. I've been hanging out more with him and actually getting to know him better. I find that I really like him as a person, but I am not sure that we would click romantically. I aso get the feeling that this is also what he's experiencing right now. So, maybe that's what he meant in the first place, that he was intimidated by me as a person? At this point I don't really care what that meant then...things are pretty clear now for me
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