transitioning from LDR to ??

[wsid]

Hi.

 

some of you may have read my other thread on my moving to where my current "LRD" resides . As I was saying in that thread she has voiced concens over this move and has questioned if its the right thing to do.

At this point we have talked more and I am still planing the move come the first of Aug

What I wanted to ask about this afternoon is the transition from one type of relationship to an intirerly diffrent one . Someone in the other thread mentioned that I need to imeditly become indapendent once I get there

whitch really stuck a cord I can deffinalty see I need to do that

 

but also I am wondering or thinking in many ways this is like starting a whole new relationship almost with a whole new or diffrent person

we have spent countless hours chating on skype , texting during the day and all total we have spent maybe 25 days together over the last 5 months

 

she for some reason has a problem with lables or terms and dose not consider me her "boyfreind" cause we have never really dated per say

I know we are more then freinds but neither of us like the term or thinking

freinds with benifits

but I think for some reason we are both trying to put a lable on this relationship and what it is

 

well that all might be a bt of a ramble with no point , I am more interested in some pointers and tips how to transform a good LDR into a local one what ever you want to call it

[lifeislove88]

I hate to be negative, but if you don't even know if you're officially dating, I wouldn't recommend moving for an LDR. Especially if there is no other initiative for you to live in that location.

 

As far as wondering if it is an entirety new relationship if you DO move, from my experience I would say yes, yes, yes!

 

I moved 1,000 miles to be with my boyfriend of 2 years. We had spent much time together beforehand, went on vacations and he visited me almost twice a month. Before I moved, we had talked about getting engaged soon, and he made so many promises to make me happy and comfortable and told me just to have faith in us and everything would be perfect.

 

Fast forward a year, and he broke up with me. Here I am, in a state that I hate and now have to move home and find a job, etc.

 

A month after I moved to be with him, he pretty much stopped trying without realizing it. He didn't kiss me when he got home, I had to plan all of our dates, he'd leave to hang out with his friends even though I knew nobody, and pretty much just acted as he would without me there aside from our occasional conversations when he wasn't too busy watching tv or playing games after work.

 

So, although we had both envisioned our future together before I moved, we realized who each other really is on a day to day basis and unfortunately it just didn't work out as we planned. His feelings changed toward me and I felt lonely and not as loved as I did when we were in an LDR.

 

Therefore, I would try at least an extended visit to see how you are together for a long period of time, also get on the same page! And make sure that the location offers something to you or you won't be happy!

[wsid]

I hate to be negative, but if you don't even know if you're officially dating, I wouldn't recommend moving for an LDR. Especially if there is no other initiative for you to live in that location.

 

As far as wondering if it is an entirety new relationship if you DO move, from my experience I would say yes, yes, yes!

 

I moved 1,000 miles to be with my boyfriend of 2 years. We had spent much time together beforehand, went on vacations and he visited me almost twice a month. Before I moved, we had talked about getting engaged soon, and he made so many promises to make me happy and comfortable and told me just to have faith in us and everything would be perfect.

 

Fast forward a year, and he broke up with me. Here I am, in a state that I hate and now have to move home and find a job, etc.

 

A month after I moved to be with him, he pretty much stopped trying without realizing it. He didn't kiss me when he got home, I had to plan all of our dates, he'd leave to hang out with his friends even though I knew nobody, and pretty much just acted as he would without me there aside from our occasional conversations when he wasn't too busy watching tv or playing games after work.

 

So, although we had both envisioned our future together before I moved, we realized who each other really is on a day to day basis and unfortunately it just didn't work out as we planned. His feelings changed toward me and I felt lonely and not as loved as I did when we were in an LDR.

 

Therefore, I would try at least an extended visit to see how you are together for a long period of time, also get on the same page! And make sure that the location offers something to you or you won't be happy!

 

This is the thing she has been saying , while we have a great time together on are "visits" back and forth and weekend get-a-ways we have never really dated per say and been together on what you could say a daily bases

well not that I think we will see each everyday there.

 

thank you for your time and your reply ,

 

in short I think that area dose have some things to offer and I think we are worth a shot to see how we do in a typical live in the same town dating relationship