LoveB86 Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 Hi everyone, For those of you who don't know my story. We are approaching 4 months since my ex been NC with me as well as myself. He cheated on me and dumped me for my co worker. They been in love since then and he totally wiped me out of his life as if I don't exist. He dumped me on April Fools day and made her his girlfriend within a few hours on that day. I had been through some ups and downs. Alot more ups since then as I feel like I am free from the lies, hurt and cheating that he did. I lost 17lbs and look and feel the hottest I had ever been. But inside, I am sad still. Sad that he wa able to move on so fast and is enjoying her while he has not a ounce of guilt for the cheating. It is kind of sad to look at it that way, but it is what it is and I cannot deny that I don't feel hurt because I do. Before our breakup almost 4 months ago, I planned a trip to hawaii with my cousins. I am here right now in Hawaii and having a blast!! Beautiful weather, everything is just gorgeous here. But he slipped in my mind as hard as I tried to keep him out of it!! I mean, the stuff I had to deal with after the breakup ontop of hard work at my job (Remember, I work with hin and his girlfriend) I deserve this vacation!! But I am sitting here by the beach, drinking a Mai Tai and am on LS thinking of him. How can someone just move on so fast especially when they cheated!! It sucks.. oh well.. time to jump in the water. - Miss Sad in Hawaii
aloneinaz Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 (edited) You've made it 4 months and have lost 14lbs and look the hottest you have ever. That relationship is dead. Move on. Find another boy-toy, potential new relationship and enjoy your life. Don't lose sight that at one time he was in love with you, was yours, etc.. He just fell out of love with you and moved on. It doesn't mean he never thinks of you or doesn't value the time you too spent together. Don't worry about that crap, he's in your past. Some people simply lack certain emotions/simpathy/compassion. He moved on quickly because he was ready too. Now, you need to move on as well. Edited July 22, 2013 by aloneinaz 2
petall Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 Also remember, if he's cheated before, he can cheat again except this time the victim isn't you.... You're lucky to be rid of him. Enjoy your vacation. 2
Author LoveB86 Posted July 22, 2013 Author Posted July 22, 2013 I'm just a broken record that keeps on repeating over and over the same old tune! I just needed a mind kick in the head to remember to move on from wha happened. It's been 4 months and although I feel much better, I still can't help to think about figuring out why he did what he did. It seems as if the longer their relationship lasts, the more it makes me think more and more. I'm sure if I didn't work with them, I would not be reminded of what all happened. As soon as I get back from Hawaii, I am on a job hunt to leave that place for peace of mind in general. Letting go seems to be hard for me as I can't cut that last string off. Sad as I can't let go even though I am trying.
aloneinaz Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 I'm just a broken record that keeps on repeating over and over the same old tune! I just needed a mind kick in the head to remember to move on from wha happened. It's been 4 months and although I feel much better, I still can't help to think about figuring out why he did what he did. It seems as if the longer their relationship lasts, the more it makes me think more and more. I'm sure if I didn't work with them, I would not be reminded of what all happened. As soon as I get back from Hawaii, I am on a job hunt to leave that place for peace of mind in general. Letting go seems to be hard for me as I can't cut that last string off. Sad as I can't let go even though I am trying. I think if you didn't see them everyday at work, you'd me much more down the recovery road. You're a tough cookie for having to cope/deal with that everyday. I agree, find another job to put them out of your life for good. 1
Chi townD Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 Girl, it's only been 4 months! You need to give yourself some time. BUT! In the meantime, you are in paradise! Enjoy it! MAKE SOME MEMEORIES!!!!! Enjoy the trip! KEEP BUSY!!! 1
jphcbpa Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 Live in the NOW, enjoy the sunsets and know one day you will have a great partner to share them with. Keep loving on yourself and cut yourself some slack. 1
Author LoveB86 Posted July 23, 2013 Author Posted July 23, 2013 I really need too as it's been a rough journey for me. Cannot help but to think of the Liar.. reality kicks in... why would I continue to feel sad over someone like that. :-/ Just can't help it.
Mws Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 You've made it 4 months and have lost 14lbs and look the hottest you have ever. That relationship is dead. Move on. Find another boy-toy, potential new relationship and enjoy your life. Don't lose sight that at one time he was in love with you, was yours, etc.. He just fell out of love with you and moved on. It doesn't mean he never thinks of you or doesn't value the time you too spent together. Don't worry about that crap, he's in your past. Some people simply lack certain emotions/simpathy/compassion. He moved on quickly because he was ready too. Now, you need to move on as well. This struck a cord with me. Probably the best advice I have heard on here to date. 1
supaflyz Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 I know how you are feeling. It sucks knowing they could be there having fun with you, or that you wish someone special was there to be with you. I spent 4th of July at my cousin beach house with a bunch of people with fireworks, swimming, volleyball, drinking. I still miss her. Same thing on the sail boat and camping. 1
Talulah Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 Hi everyone, For those of you who don't know my story. We are approaching 4 months since my ex been NC with me as well as myself. He cheated on me and dumped me for my co worker. They been in love since then and he totally wiped me out of his life as if I don't exist. He dumped me on April Fools day and made her his girlfriend within a few hours on that day. I had been through some ups and downs. Alot more ups since then as I feel like I am free from the lies, hurt and cheating that he did. I lost 17lbs and look and feel the hottest I had ever been. But inside, I am sad still. Sad that he wa able to move on so fast and is enjoying her while he has not a ounce of guilt for the cheating. It is kind of sad to look at it that way, but it is what it is and I cannot deny that I don't feel hurt because I do. Before our breakup almost 4 months ago, I planned a trip to hawaii with my cousins. I am here right now in Hawaii and having a blast!! Beautiful weather, everything is just gorgeous here. But he slipped in my mind as hard as I tried to keep him out of it!! I mean, the stuff I had to deal with after the breakup ontop of hard work at my job (Remember, I work with hin and his girlfriend) I deserve this vacation!! But I am sitting here by the beach, drinking a Mai Tai and am on LS thinking of him. How can someone just move on so fast especially when they cheated!! It sucks.. oh well.. time to jump in the water. - Miss Sad in Hawaii Oh gosh, I am so sorry!! I had a similar situation, I dated a guy who I fell in love for, he was never over his ex. After he dumped me (on Valentine's Day) he moved to another city, they reconnected and now they are married. She is horrid looking though. ... I too went on vacation when my ex was breaking up with me and it really hurt, it was hard to enjoy myself. But do whatever you can to get it out of your system. Don't worry, karma will get him back for what he has done. 1
skydiveaddict Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 (edited) How can someone just move on so fast especially when they cheated!! Cause he's a spineless ass. He's really just a pussy with no real masculine virtues. You don't want someone like that anyway. It sucks.. oh well.. time to jump in the water. - Miss Sad in Hawaii That's the best place on earth to get over someone. I'm sure there are lots of attractive men there to help distract you. Hell, we're going to be there next month at the Auwahi wind farm and all we'll get to do is work. Don't waste your vacation fretting over that gutless loser. Edited July 23, 2013 by skydiveaddict 1
Author LoveB86 Posted July 23, 2013 Author Posted July 23, 2013 It hurts so bad. I don't wish bad on them.. as he made the right choice for him. But the cheating was unnecessary and to get away it? To not apologize for his cowardly actions? Hits home run with me. I cannot get over that no matter what. It's not like he chose to just end it with me, but it was leaving me for someone else. This trip is making me think of him more and more our of nowhere and I'm only on day 4. The thoughts just won't stop!!
Author LoveB86 Posted July 27, 2013 Author Posted July 27, 2013 My trip is over tomorrow! I am about to fall into a deep depression again! Going back to work, having issues with work related stuff, back to seeing the ex with his girlfriend at work, like my life sucks! I just hate my life... hurts to be cheated on! It hurtsss!! It's been 4 months, you would think I should be over all of this! Might just quit my job on Monday. I just made up my mind on this trip that I gotta quit this job!!
Emma1234 Posted July 27, 2013 Posted July 27, 2013 The best way of feel equal in terms of power with your ex is to get the life you've always wanted that doesn't include him. Brainstorm and imagine it then start making it happen. It's normal to think about him, I have been away for 2 weeks now and at the beginning I could barely stop crying (3 months since he left me), but I spent the time reading self help books, enjoying the small things like the sun and the good food and company. I've finally hit a positive point. I've realised I don't actually have to feel down, I can condition myself not to feel so much pain, it's like when you go into cold water (the sea), if you brace yourself against it and tense it feels colder and you shiver more, but if you just let yourself go with it, take deep breaths then you will become accustomed to the cold faster and it will start to feel nice Give it time but fight for yourself every second
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