sdraw108 Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 For instance, several years back a woman I used to work with gave me her phone number out of the blue. I couldn't decide if it was a joke or not, so I dropped it (other similar situations). Who cares why she gave you her number, if you'd called her you would have had nothing to lose (and certainly nothing that you didn't lose anyway by deleting the number). It sounds like you're actively avoiding girls!
Seductive Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 Who cares why she gave you her number, if you'd called her you would have had nothing to lose (and certainly nothing that you didn't lose anyway by deleting the number). It sounds like you're actively avoiding girls! Self-fulfilling prophecy. People that say "Women/men reject me" are actually the ones doing the rejecting and avoiding! 1
Babolat Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 OP, I may have missed it. Is there a reason your ar a virgin? Relgion, family, self choice, other? Either way, again, just relax man, let things happen. Practice talking to woman you do not find intimidating. I am not a bar guy; I do not pick woman up at bars. So join some MeetUp groups for things you like to do: for example hiking, biking, walking, volunteering, etc. Force yopurself to make conversation with woman...allow yourself to feel the fear and the anxiety. 1
El Brujo Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 no it isnt a red flag...its a choice...whether it is voluntary or involuntary.........i feel a certain amount of respect is involved....to red flag over someone never having sex....is as bad as judging someone who has had sex..... i think the hugest red flag should be placed on someone who judges others poorly and treats them badly due to their virginity......deb Nuthin' wrong with being a virgin, except when some loudmouth PUAs say there is. Besides, if that virgin was rich and knew how to treat a lady, well... you folks can figure out where 'm going with this. Or maybe not. 1
Author Saraswati57 Posted July 24, 2013 Author Posted July 24, 2013 Self-fulfilling prophecy. People that say "Women/men reject me" are actually the ones doing the rejecting and avoiding! Yeah, I don't believe I claimed that women rejected me. Just don't have a whole lot of confidence for whatever reason, so I haven't pursued them romantically much. OP, I may have missed it. Is there a reason your ar a virgin? Relgion, family, self choice, other? Either way, again, just relax man, let things happen. Practice talking to woman you do not find intimidating. I am not a bar guy; I do not pick woman up at bars. So join some MeetUp groups for things you like to do: for example hiking, biking, walking, volunteering, etc. Force yopurself to make conversation with woman...allow yourself to feel the fear and the anxiety. The reason (that I can tell), has to do with low self-esteem/anxiety. Even when they approach me, I don't respond much because of those two issues, and it's irrational. Most people usually back out of giving me advice at this point, because they can't relate. Though, I might have conversed somewhat more easily with women *I* didn't deem as attractive.
sdraw108 Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 Most people usually back out of giving me advice at this point, because they can't relate. I can relate. I severely lacked confidence when I was younger. You can overcome it. It basically boils down to faking it. Do/say things that someone who was confident would do/say in the same situation. At some point you realise that faking confidence and having confidence are almost the same thing, and that you've made the transition from one to the other. A large part of it is letting go of any fears you have about the consequences of your actions. Who cares if some random girl rejects you (even if it's in a really horrible insensitive way)? It doesn't actually affect your life in any way when you think about it, particularly if you never have to see that person again. 1
Ryan R. Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 (edited) I think virginity is having WAY too much importance placed onto it. Whether positive or negative one. I wouldn't say that. Like most things in life, sex or lack thereof is only a problem if you're not getting any. It's like being born with with two legs. Most people take it for granted that they can walk without any problems but to someone who's handicapped or to an amputee, I'm sure they miss it. You know, I wonder if there exists a group of women that fetishizes de-virginizing young males. There are but they tend to be of the older, creepier variety and are of a sexually predatory nature. I don't know about anyone else, but I'd like to lose my virginity to some girl who is in my age range, not to a cougar. Edited July 25, 2013 by Ryan R.
samsungxoxo Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 (edited) Well, I'm generally not a fan of one night stands because of several reasons. A committed relationship would be ideal Good, keep it that way. You have no idea how many of us would love to stumble at least once in our life with a man like that. I can't find that and this sometimes get me irritated. That's part of the reason I'm still single and only been with 1 man in my life, who was my then bf (I'm 26 years old). I'm sick of your typical guy that goes to bars and clubs and has made it in his mind to have sex with as many hookers as possible. Or the ones that will try to push for sex on only the 3rd date or earlier, which is a dead giveaway that they're overly experienced. but I certainly don't want to wait until I'm 35, either.I'm sure you won't. But have you ever watched The 40 year-old virgin. If the woman loves you enough, she'll be delighted that she has no other women to be compared with and relieve about you being STD free. I would happily take a man's V-card if he was into only losing it in a relationship. Edited July 25, 2013 by samsungxoxo 2
CrazyConcept Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 I wouldn't say that. Like most things in life, sex or lack thereof is only a problem if you're not getting any. It's like being born with with two legs. Most people take it for granted that they can walk without any problems but to someone who's handicapped or to an amputee, I'm sure they miss it. Ummmm, LOL? You're comparing ability to move around to having sex? One is pretty much mandatory thing in your life (and even disabled people have ways to do it), other one is not. Also one thing involves two people, and other person has to want it too. You don't need other person's consent to move around, do you?
Beast_117 Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 I'm a 21 year old virgin and even now I think most women would see it as a turn off and red flag.
thefooloftheyear Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 I dont think there is anything wrong with it, per se...I just cant believe it, (and dont misunderstand me-im not being condescending here)... If I was 28 and hadnt been laid yet, I think I would have lost my mind...Im serious...There is no way I could have functioned normally..There is just no way in hell I could carry a loaded gun around for that long..Id have turned it on myself...figuratively speaking of course... I wish you guys well TFY
samsungxoxo Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 (edited) I'm a 21 year old virgin and even now I think most women would see it as a turn off and red flag.Honestly, a manwhore would be very alarming to me. It's not the norm for either gender to frequently sleep with strangers. That's really a deviation that is created by the media and Hollywood movies. Sadly, it has been doing nothing corrupting today's youths of both genders. Therefore, I still believe it's not normal for a 20ish year-old male or female to have already slept with 20-30 partners or more. There is just something not right there. Threesomes aren't the norm either. It's also not the norm to brag about how many girls you slept with among your friends. Edited July 25, 2013 by samsungxoxo
thefooloftheyear Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 Honestly, a manwhore would be very alarming to me. It's not the norm for either gender to frequently sleep with strangers. That's really a deviation that is created by the media and Hollywood movies. Sadly, it has been doing nothing corrupting today's youths of both genders. Therefore, I still believe it's not normal for a 20ish year-old male or female to have already slept with 20-30 partners or more. There is just something not right there. Threesomes aren't the norm either. It's also not the norm to brag about how many girls you slept with among your friends. I agree... If its not something one would talk about, it really wouldnt matter whether they slept with one or 100, then...no?(i.e. the other party woulndt know) TFY
Southern Cal Dude Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 Honestly, a manwhore would be very alarming to me. It's not the norm for either gender to frequently sleep with strangers. That's really a deviation that is created by the media and Hollywood movies. Sadly, it has been doing nothing corrupting today's youths of both genders. Therefore, I still believe it's not normal for a 20ish year-old male or female to have already slept with 20-30 partners or more. There is just something not right there. Threesomes aren't the norm either. It's also not the norm to brag about how many girls you slept with among your friends. Manwhores are not a turnoff. Male celebs are manwhores and do they repulse women? No. 1
TouchedByViolet Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 Manwhores are not a turnoff. Male celebs are manwhores and do they repulse women? No. Exactly. The guys who are sleeping with lots of women are highly desired and having relatively large numbers of partners has no negative effect on their desirability. They continue to sleep with women regularly.
samsungxoxo Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 (edited) Manwhores are not a turnoff. Male celebs are manwhores and do they repulse women? No.Chances are they aren't getting the respectable wholesome woman or a true '''Waiting till marriage'' one that would only date her category. They are getting either female celebs that are into casual sex too, party girls, HS drop-outs, those with ''I want to tame bad guy'' mental issues or women with baggage. Edited July 26, 2013 by samsungxoxo 1
Woggle Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 I wish being a manwhore was a turn off but it is not. If it was a turn off to women so many men would not aspire to it. Men are results oriented people who do what works. If being only interested in loving and committed relationships turned women on more men would do it. 1
Southern Cal Dude Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 Chances are they aren't getting the respectable wholesome woman or a true '''Waiting till marriage'' one that would only date her category. They are getting either female celebs that are into casual sex too, party girls, HS drop-outs, those with ''I want to tame bad guy'' mental issues or women with baggage. Women are attracted to the same traits, regardless of education, status, looks, or wealth. Everything you listed is just a rationalization and simply not true. Most women have casual sex and it's not with average guys.
Woggle Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 Women are attracted to the same traits, regardless of education, status, looks, or wealth. Everything you listed is just a rationalization and simply not true. Most women have casual sex and it's not with average guys. I believe her when she says it but not every woman is like her.
samsungxoxo Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 Most women have casual sex and it's not with average guys.I don't like casual sex. You kind of answer this yourself. Off course women that have casual sex would want the male equivalent of them; they themselves aren't looking for committed relationships and want someone just as experienced as them.
Ryan R. Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 (edited) Chances are they aren't getting the respectable wholesome woman or a true '''Waiting till marriage'' one that would only date her category. They are getting either female celebs that are into casual sex too, party girls, HS drop-outs, those with ''I want to tame bad guy'' mental issues or women with baggage. In my opinion, there is absolutely nothing wrong with casual sex. As long as its between two consenting adults, I don't see the issue with it. At 21, I don't see why someone should have that many partners. Most people don't even hit double digits. I can assure you that a lot of 21 year old males are not within the range of 10, those guys are very rare. I've seen lots of "wholesome women" go for someone who is considered a "manwhore" and they don't have mental issues, aren't high school drop outs, or whatever else have you. At 21, it is sort of red flag that a guy is a virgin. Most guys at this age would have already had a girlfriend or two and have had sex within that relationship. If not, they've at least hooked up with a girl a couple of times. College usually throws people a bone. If you can't get laid past college, then its clear *something* is wrong. I should know. I just graduated two months ago and I came out the other side clear a virgin. I honestly don't know what happened and I feel like **** every day because of it. I don't want to be known as "Mr. Right" or "Mr. Marriage Material" simply because I haven't slept with a lot of girls. Marriage doesn't really interest me that much and it doesn't seem that great. So to be cast aside as "marriage material" isn't really that much of a compliment, it just shows that I'm not sexually attractive enough for a woman to want me right now. I don't understand why people can't understand that being a "manwhore" has pretty much zero drawbacks. Men will praise you for it and the women that will avoid you for it are pretty much nil in terms of how many respond positively to it. If anything a man sleeping around shows that he has attractive traits that reel women in. I don't like casual sex. You kind of answer this yourself. Off course women that have casual sex would want the male equivalent of them; they themselves aren't looking for committed relationships and want someone just as experienced as them. You can't firmly put a woman in a "casual sex" category or a "seeking a relationship" category. These two often overlap and one is often used to find the other if need be. Most people find themselves in one situation at least once in their lives. No offense, but you seem to be out of touch with how people conduct sexual affairs and relationships. Edited July 26, 2013 by Ryan R. 2
samsungxoxo Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 I don't understand why people can't understand that being a "manwhore" has pretty much zero drawbacks. Zero drawbacks?? How about: 1) High chances of contacting an STD 2) He can revert back to his old ways and cheat; the more promiscuous someone is (man or woman), the less likely they'll be faithful
Woggle Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 Zero drawbacks?? How about: 1) High chances of contacting an STD 2) He can revert back to his old ways and cheat; the more promiscuous someone is (man or woman), the less likely they'll be faithful STDs are true but even cheaters are rewarded. I despise cheaters but society does not punish them for it. Anthony Wiener has a very good chance of being the next mayor of NY and I bet many women will vote for him.
Beast_117 Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 In my opinion, there is absolutely nothing wrong with casual sex. As long as its between two consenting adults, I don't see the issue with it. At 21, I don't see why someone should have that many partners. Most people don't even hit double digits. I can assure you that a lot of 21 year old males are not within the range of 10, those guys are very rare. I've seen lots of "wholesome women" go for someone who is considered a "manwhore" and they don't have mental issues, aren't high school drop outs, or whatever else have you. At 21, it is sort of red flag that a guy is a virgin. Most guys at this age would have already had a girlfriend or two and have had sex within that relationship. If not, they've at least hooked up with a girl a couple of times. College usually throws people a bone. If you can't get laid past college, then its clear *something* is wrong. I should know. I just graduated two months ago and I came out the other side clear a virgin. I honestly don't know what happened and I feel like **** every day because of it. I don't want to be known as "Mr. Right" or "Mr. Marriage Material" simply because I haven't slept with a lot of girls. Marriage doesn't really interest me that much and it doesn't seem that great. So to be cast aside as "marriage material" isn't really that much of a compliment, it just shows that I'm not sexually attractive enough for a woman to want me right now. I don't understand why people can't understand that being a "manwhore" has pretty much zero drawbacks. Men will praise you for it and the women that will avoid you for it are pretty much nil in terms of how many respond positively to it. If anything a man sleeping around shows that he has attractive traits that reel women in. You can't firmly put a woman in a "casual sex" category or a "seeking a relationship" category. These two often overlap and one is often used to find the other if need be. Most people find themselves in one situation at least once in their lives. No offense, but you seem to be out of touch with how people conduct sexual affairs and relationships. This. In my group of friends I'm the only one that is still a virgin at 21..they all lost their virginity at 16-18 and they are all manhores..and yeah I admit I'm jealous.I pretty much don't hang out with them anymore and I think it's better this way for me and them..good for me because I don't have to listen to them making fun of me anymore and good for them because because I don't hang out with them and "mess up" their image.
Jenny1278 Posted July 26, 2013 Posted July 26, 2013 (edited) You know, I wonder if there exists a group of women that fetishizes de-virginizing young males.Yes but my bf is taking his time. I wish he was ready. I've had that fantasy even before I met him but you know how it's rare to find virgin guys and we end up with the ones that already had a couple numbers. Not sure if this is a weird fantasy for a 20 year-old girl (he's 21). Finally I'll get that chance I never had before. Off course I don't mean to sound weird but I find it a turn on. Edited July 26, 2013 by Jenny1278
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