Saraswati57 Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 I'm going to go out on a limb and say yes, and in some ways I sort of see where the women who think that are coming from. Anyway, do you think women in general think it is a glaring warning sign?
Southern Cal Dude Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 Yes it is. But to be fair, a 28 year old female virgin is an equally red flag. 1
Author Saraswati57 Posted July 22, 2013 Author Posted July 22, 2013 Yes it is. But to be fair, a 28 year old female virgin is an equally red flag. Probably, and I wonder if it's possible to overcome that warning sign.
Mrlonelyone Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 Saraswati If you are in East India why not just dispense with dating and have someone set you up with a suitable wife? I don't mean to be presumptuious but your screen name makes it seem that you are from a culture where this would not be an issue. If you are in the west, simply don't tell them you are a virgin. They will either see it as a red flag, or they will feel strange about being your first lover. 1
Author Saraswati57 Posted July 22, 2013 Author Posted July 22, 2013 Saraswati If you are in East India why not just dispense with dating and have someone set you up with a suitable wife? I don't mean to be presumptuious but your screen name makes it seem that you are from a culture where this would not be an issue. If you are in the west, simply don't tell them you are a virgin. They will either see it as a red flag, or they will feel strange about being your first lover. Just for clarification, I don't live in India. I live in the US, and am white. 1
Mrlonelyone Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 Just for clarification, I don't live in India. I live in the US, and am white. Choosing a name after a mythical or past river in India, referred to in the Rig Veda was an interesting move. That's all I was saying. In any case, if they don't ask, don't tell. Being a virgin isn't a disease or a bad thing and is no more their business than the last 10 people a more experienced person has had sex with. 1
Author Saraswati57 Posted July 23, 2013 Author Posted July 23, 2013 Choosing a name after a mythical or past river in India, referred to in the Rig Veda was an interesting move. That's all I was saying. In any case, if they don't ask, don't tell. Being a virgin isn't a disease or a bad thing and is no more their business than the last 10 people a more experienced person has had sex with. Yeah, can't remember why I chose that username. I was planning on not telling anyone, but was concerned that anyone I was with would find out by simple inference. Virgins are pretty obvious in the sack, from what I've been told.
Seductive Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 People would wonder, but there's no need to advertise. As far as virgins being obvious in the sack, non-virgins can be look "virginal" too. A non-virgin might get nervous and freeze, no matter how experienced they are. It's happened to me (performance anxiety). 1
Imported Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 If you can swing it, go to bars, clubs or whatever and find a girl that wants to have sex that night/day and go at it. You'll probably never see her again, especially if you go to areas not around your home town.
Seductive Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 If you can swing it, go to bars, clubs or whatever and find a girl that wants to have sex that night/day and go at it. You'll probably never see her again, especially if you go to areas not around your home town. You know, I wonder if there exists a group of women that fetishizes de-virginizing young males.
samsungxoxo Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 You know, I wonder if there exists a group of women that fetishizes de-virginizing young males.It would depend on how he wants to lose his virginity. If it's during a committed relationship and he has been waiting the whole time, it's worth de-virginizing him. If it's because he wants a ONS just to get rid of it, no thanks.
Author Saraswati57 Posted July 23, 2013 Author Posted July 23, 2013 It would depend on how he wants to lose his virginity. If it's during a committed relationship and he has been waiting the whole time, it's worth de-virginizing him. If it's because he wants a ONS just to get rid of it, no thanks. Well, I'm generally not a fan of one night stands because of several reasons. A committed relationship would be ideal, but I certainly don't want to wait until I'm 35, either.
Author Saraswati57 Posted July 23, 2013 Author Posted July 23, 2013 If you can swing it, go to bars, clubs or whatever and find a girl that wants to have sex that night/day and go at it. You'll probably never see her again, especially if you go to areas not around your home town. This might not be a bad idea, not so much for the sex, but to avoid humiliating experiences in the city I live in. I've thought of it before, the only caveat is that I'd need some friends to go out with. After leaving my most recent job, I left most of them behind. I text a former "friend" from that job occasionally, but it's certainly not enough of a foundation to ask "hey, do you want to go to a bar?"
Imported Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 This might not be a bad idea, not so much for the sex, but to avoid humiliating experiences in the city I live in. I've thought of it before, the only caveat is that I'd need some friends to go out with. After leaving my most recent job, I left most of them behind. I text a former "friend" from that job occasionally, but it's certainly not enough of a foundation to ask "hey, do you want to go to a bar?" If you live near a major airport with nice hotels....... Choose a hotel near... as in next to or attached to the airport. Must have a cool bar, maybe even one where they open up the floor for dancing. A Hyatt Regency is usually a good bet....because it'll have the nice bar, be upscale, but not so fancy that you won't have a bunch of businessmen and women there. Women are easy when they are traveling on vacation or business. There is a limited time to go from, "Hi, my name is Rodrigo" to...."why yes, Rodrigo always carries a condemn". Plus, you'll have a room. Downside is it'll cost you. I go through all this as part of my job. Sometimes it is just amazing, the hotel is packed with a lot of potential everywhere. Sometimes.....it is barren.
CrazyConcept Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 I think virginity is having WAY too much importance placed onto it. Whether positive or negative one. 1
Author Saraswati57 Posted July 23, 2013 Author Posted July 23, 2013 If you live near a major airport with nice hotels....... Choose a hotel near... as in next to or attached to the airport. Must have a cool bar, maybe even one where they open up the floor for dancing. A Hyatt Regency is usually a good bet....because it'll have the nice bar, be upscale, but not so fancy that you won't have a bunch of businessmen and women there. Women are easy when they are traveling on vacation or business. There is a limited time to go from, "Hi, my name is Rodrigo" to...."why yes, Rodrigo always carries a condemn". Plus, you'll have a room. Downside is it'll cost you. I go through all this as part of my job. Sometimes it is just amazing, the hotel is packed with a lot of potential everywhere. Sometimes.....it is barren. Well, that seems like a cheesy way to meet women (and get sex), and maybe something a little more casual would benefit someone of my lack of experience.
Babolat Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 Having been with one virgin in my life, I can tell you I personally could care less...in fact it shows a bit about your character and judgement, a good character. Each sexual relationship is different and you kind of grow it together. 2
Author Saraswati57 Posted July 23, 2013 Author Posted July 23, 2013 You don't have to tell them you're a virgin. I mean the women who ask about your sexual history are most likely going to be the ones ready to sleep with you. Don't be in some weird rush to lose your virginity because you're 28. Just try to find the right girl and don't make a big deal about being a virgin. Like I said keep it to yourself. You don't want to make her feel like some experienced teacher who is going to hold your hand through the act of sex. Some girls get off on that kind of thing but most want to avoid that kind of situation. If you're in good shape you'll already be better at sex than most guys who've been doing it for most their lives. Just be confident instead of the awkward virgin. I was planning on not volunteering that information, so that part isn't a problem. As far as being in good shape (not in bad shape now), I am definitely on my way towards that goal, and I've been pretty strict with myself so that I can keep on track. I know what you are saying about confidence, one study I read suggested that women were more satisfied in bed by confident men, but that could have been for a variety of reasons. One thing that concerns me is the act of kissing; I've never done it. Sure, I've talked to women, but the distinction between verbal and physical is where I get lost, though even the former is not something I'm terribly experienced in.
Babolat Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 I am sure you have seen "The 40 year old virgin". Great move to watch if you have not. One of my female bfs has a male bf who is in his early 40s. She thinks he is a virgin. I have met him many times, drank with him, hung out with him. He is a bit stiff, doesn't seem to have the best female social skills other than friends. But, hey, he is ok with it from what I can tell. Relax man, just let things happen. Work on yourself, work on talking to woman, becoming more confident, and just let it happen. Let go of the expectations. I know, easier said then done, especially coming from someone who is not a virgin...things will take care of themselvs. Your stress and worry are huring you more than helping you at this point. 2
Babolat Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 If it helps, I was 18, out of High School, before I had sex for the first time and really even made out with a girl for the first time (same girl). She was 17, starting her senior year of HS. I did nto tell her until months later, and she cried knowing she was my first. Strange thing, I was rock hard and could not cum, probably from the excitement, so she thought I was a stud! After our break up I found out she was the local slut at her HS; oh well. 1
MomsSpaghetti Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 It's different being a male virgin than it is a female virgin. A lot of people in this thread are implying it's the same thing ---- it's not. Males, when it comes to attraction, are more individual thinking. Our attraction to a woman doesn't depend on how much other men are attracted to her. Whereas, for women, if a guy has slept with a lot of women, he is subsequently attractive to even more women because they like the fact that he is valued by other women. It's groupthink, basically. The result is that a guy who is a known virgin is far less attractive than if he weren't, all other things being equal. 3
Author Saraswati57 Posted July 23, 2013 Author Posted July 23, 2013 It's different being a male virgin than it is a female virgin. A lot of people in this thread are implying it's the same thing ---- it's not. Males, when it comes to attraction, are more individual thinking. Our attraction to a woman doesn't depend on how much other men are attracted to her. Whereas, for women, if a guy has slept with a lot of women, he is subsequently attractive to even more women because they like the fact that he is valued by other women. It's groupthink, basically. The result is that a guy who is a known virgin is far less attractive than if he weren't, all other things being equal. While I wouldn't say men are wholly individual thinkers overall, they do seem to be less influenced by social forces of attraction than women. Maybe it's because women are generally more inescapably aware of the social atmosphere. Still, whatever the reason, male virgins might typically have a harder time losing it after a certain age than women.
todreaminblue Posted July 23, 2013 Posted July 23, 2013 no it isnt a red flag...its a choice...whether it is voluntary or involuntary.........i feel a certain amount of respect is involved....to red flag over someone never having sex....is as bad as judging someone who has had sex..... i think the hugest red flag should be placed on someone who judges others poorly and treats them badly due to their virginity......deb 6
Author Saraswati57 Posted July 24, 2013 Author Posted July 24, 2013 I agree being a male virgin is a lot different than being a female virgin. I don't think a lot of people in this thread said they were the same though. One person did that I noticed. If we go back to olden times. Lets just refer to a vague olden time. Well no cared about virginity other than is the women a virgin. So all in all this flip of concerns about virginity is kind of odd. Now a 28 year old virgin girl in olden times might actually be seen as a lost cause spinster old maid so yeah not at all the virginity but her age would be her downfall possibly. Truth is a virgin who feels stuck in their virginity is their own greatest enemy. This guy probably cock blocks himself on a regular basis whether it be hiding away from women or ignoring any potential love interests that present themselves. This goes double for a women virgin who have that stuck as a virgin mindset. I mean this with all respect but put me in a short, fat, old, stinky guys body. Destroy my brain so that all I can say is "Me man you woman, we be together" and grunt in different expressive tones. And give the energy to wake up and slink around for only 6 of the 24 hours in a day and if I had at least the drive to approach women I'd get multiple some ones. You are your worst enemy virginzone man. You virginzoned yourself. When and if you do get laid it will only be as awesome as you make. It can be really awesome. Like way better than the best piss and the best food and the best high from winning you ever had or it can suck. That's all up to you. It's also a very achievable thing if you just decide to stop feel awkward and go for it. I hope you're motivated because it's high time you grabbed some breasts and slapped some butts. Have you ever slapped a butt a sexy girls butt? Have you ever known the joy of grabbing breasts, ones that weren't your mothers when you were a baby. Do you ever even hug pretty girls and feel their body against yours. Think about these things and let it motivate you. If you do end up the 40 year old virgin so be it. He chose that lie. He says so in the movie. When he didn't want it anymore, his life changed. You're no less of a man than some guy who get's it all the time from his hot wife. I understand if you want that, so go get it. Also don't buy in to leftist feminist logic. It's the kind of thing that destroys a mans inner dialogue. You're not a rapist, you're not a bad guy, you're not a creep, women are not better than or more equal than men. You go out there and you be a man. As for the "have you ever..." stuff, if I had gotten that far, I probably wouldn't have posted this thread! You're right though, I probably do "cockblock" myself, I've never gone beyond the friendship stage with women, I don't even try to pursue it. For instance, several years back a woman I used to work with gave me her phone number out of the blue. I couldn't decide if it was a joke or not, so I dropped it (other similar situations). I mean, I definitely have the normal manly urges, but I've never had enough gumption to go out and pursue women, let alone strike up random friendships with them (one or two, maybe).
sdraw108 Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 There is a limited time to go from, "Hi, my name is Rodrigo" to...."why yes, Rodrigo always carries a condemn" Interesting typo.
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