She's ignoring me, why?

July 26, 2013

Have dated some BPDs, the cycle usually takes much longer to present in full, from what I learned about it, little things -started- to crop up 2-3 months in. They allow themselves to get caught up and enjoy things before the inevitable crash. It could be BPD I suppose, but feel another possibility likely. Based on her behavior, I suspect a recent spate of promiscuity that causes her guilt and shame, with constant promises to "do differently this time" when the next relationship opportunity comes around. She could even be in therapy for this issue. She could have a sex addiction.

July 26, 2013

I can never successfully manage to give space, correctly.

I've just sent her a message, telling her that I'm trying to give her as much space as I can, but after what's happened I'm finding it hard to do that. I told her I miss how we were, and that I want it to be like that again. I know this was a bad move, but to go from talking daily several times, and then cuddling and having sex to not talking at all, to me, is too difficult.

No doubt she will fly off the handle at me, or accuse me of being too needy. Which I'm not, I simply miss her.

This will be part of the pattern from now on if you persist and if she has the traits as discussed above.

July 26, 2013

I had a missed call from her, this morning... I don't even know if she meant to call, because I called her back and nothing.

July 26, 2013

I had a missed call from her, this morning... I don't even know if she meant to call, because I called her back and nothing.

You will never make sense of it intellectually.

See if this excerpt helps, it's a specific post I've found for you http://www.loveshack.org/forums/mind-body-soul/self-improvement-personal-well-being/380507-calling-all-those-bpd-10.html#post4749724

July 26, 2013

You will never make sense of it intellectually.

See if this excerpt helps, it's a specific post I've found for you http://www.loveshack.org/forums/mind-body-soul/self-improvement-personal-well-being/380507-calling-all-those-bpd-10.html#post4749724

Emilia, do you think I should just give up?

July 26, 2013

Emilia, do you think I should just give up?

Yes. Whatever her reason is or whatever condition she has this will destroy you in the long run, I'm sorry.

Not only give up but also work out how to stop yourself going for broken women.

July 26, 2013

Yes. Whatever her reason is or whatever condition she has this will destroy you in the long run, I'm sorry.

Not only give up but also work out how to stop yourself going for broken women.

You don't have to apologise - you're right. I also do need to work out why and stop myself from going for these same types of women. I've already had the week from hell with this - I don't even believe her phone IS broken, tbh. I think it's just a lame excuse to get rid of me, and to stop me talking to her.

July 26, 2013

You don't have to apologise - you're right. I also do need to work out why and stop myself from going for these same types of women. I've already had the week from hell with this - I don't even believe her phone IS broken, tbh. I think it's just a lame excuse to get rid of me, and to stop me talking to her.

I don't think you will be able to reason with her and luckily you are recognising how bad this is for you. I think this sort of thing is a wake up call.

July 26, 2013

I don't think you will be able to reason with her and luckily you are recognising how bad this is for you. I think this sort of thing is a wake up call.

It's quite sad how people do things like this, with no consideration for the other person. Do you think they know how they are acting?

July 26, 2013

It's quite sad how people do things like this, with no consideration for the other person. Do you think they know how they are acting?

No. Some gain awareness at some point in their lives but they are usually so busy dealing with their perceived reality that they have no room to feel concern for you.

July 26, 2013

I heard from her earlier, and she seemed totally oblivious to everything. She was telling me how she was heading out for the night with some friends - I didn't reply. I don't appreciate being kept in the dark for days and all of a sudden I am supposed to rejoin the conversation as if nothing has happened. No.

July 27, 2013

No. Some gain awareness at some point in their lives but they are usually so busy dealing with their perceived reality that they have no room to feel concern for you.

This is correct. I spoke to her again, today. And she was being very off. I decided to take the initiative and ask her when I could call her. She ignored me a few times, until I was very determined and said, "Look, I would prefer to talk to you on the phone. If you'd let me know when I can call you...?"

Her reply was, "In honesty, if it's about you and me, I'd much rather leave it where it is."

I didn't expect anything less from her. But I must admit I am extremely, extremely hurt. I am a very sincere person and a very sensitive one, at that. It has hurt me, and I am angry and disappointed at the way she has treated me - especially after we had spoke in length about being treated badly by others.

I've sent her a rather long message about how she has disappointed me, and the fact that I trusted her and she has let me down, etc. I do appreciate that we were not together, but as I said, it was a very deep connection that I thought we had, so I didn't for a second believe she would act in this way. She is acting almost like a different person to the one that I initially became close to, it's amazing. Well, I will move on - although I don't really think I shall be dating anyone in the near future.

Edited July 27, 2013 by ToyStoryThree

July 27, 2013

Did u really said Godsend? Really?

I'm just saying. Her bio profile

Already stated that "she not looking for

Nothing serious, but open to one"

That's what she technically did with you.

You guys slept together and now she

Disappeared. She already had "no committment"

Written all over her and u obviously was cool

With it till she got ghost on you. Its no surprise

But hopefully u do things differrently when u meet

The next woman. POF is nothing but a "hook up"

Dating site anyway. Wish u the best

July 27, 2013

Did u really said Godsend? Really?
I'm just saying. Her bio profile
Already stated that "she not looking for
Nothing serious, but open to one"
That's what she technically did with you.
You guys slept together and now she
Disappeared. She already had "no committment"
Written all over her and u obviously was cool
With it till she got ghost on you. Its no surprise
But hopefully u do things differrently when u meet
The next woman. POF is nothing but a "hook up"
Dating site anyway. Wish u the best

Thanks for your input

I guess she did, huh? I know it is nothing but a hook up site, but yeah - she was a pretty good actress. All this "I only do relationship stuff" kinda got me. Now that it's a few days into it, I do think I'm 'over' her but nevertheless I do find this situation quite fascinating and interesting.

July 27, 2013

Anyway - little update for anyone that might be following this post. I'm kinda using it as a mini blog, now, lol.

We had a conversation not long ago....apparently she didn't guarantee me anything, was free to leave at any time (I did not disagree with this, because of course, it's true!)

There seems to be a high emphasis on the fact that she was uncomfortable with how fast things had moved, but there is no mention of whether she is no longer attracted to me, or anything of that nature. Not that I really care either way - like I said, I just find this all quite interesting, now. Apparently I am to "take some time" for myself to get over being "upset".

Another thing that confuses me - she says that "Right now, it's too much. Just let it take its course. It doesn't have to be all done in a week" but then immediately after that comment? "We can be friends" - confusing. I can't tell if 'friends' is code for flirty friends or actual friends, especially when coupled with the "let it take it's course" comment. As like I said, I don't even know what she feels toward me (and I've asked).

I have asked her outright whether she is attracted to me, or is friends all she wants (yeah, I know - but I like to be clear on things. My flaw) and she replied with "I'm stopping this conversation now". And yeah, that was it. There was a lot more said, but this was the general gist of the conversation.

Soooooo I am now a little more enlightened as to what's going on although I don't hold any hopes for a relationship with this woman. I do still feel as if she is running away, as I at no point forced her to do anything or say anything she didn't want to. I don't know whether I even want to pursue this anyway, at this juncture. I'm a person that believes, if you like someone, just go with it, why fight it or try and avoid it?

So yeah, I'll keep myself quiet for a while. I need a break from this anyway, lol.

If you wanna add your opinion - even if it's brutal - go for it. Lee x

July 27, 2013

I hope it works out for you

July 27, 2013

I hope it works out for you

Thank you

July 27, 2013

Im gonna hazard a guess just in case she doesnt have BPD.

Do you know whether or not she just got out of a relationship before seeing you?

Its as if she was trying to see if she can sleep with you to forget about someone that dumped her, and it didnt work. Thats the only think I can think of as to why she slept with you on first meeting, and then pull away like youre the plague. So any communication you had after that looks like she didnt quite want to cut you loose, but couldnt talk to you because you were bugging her. Nothing is worse than getting texts from someone you dont want to hear from. But its her fault for avoiding telling you she was no longer interested. So not only was she avoiding talking about you and her as a couple, she wanted to be friends, which means she was no longer attracted to you.

I think she wanted a guy that was more of a challenge (for his heart), and you were too easy. I also think it took her so long to meet you because she was working on someone else that didnt work out, and you were the backup (she could have been working on her ex). I advise you to cut her loose, dont bother with her, dont answer any more texts or calls. Shes a headcase. You dont want that.

July 27, 2013

Thanks for your input

I guess she did, huh? I know it is nothing but a hook up site, but yeah - she was a pretty good actress. All this "I only do relationship stuff" kinda got me. Now that it's a few days into it, I do think I'm 'over' her but nevertheless I do find this situation quite fascinating and interesting.

Some women need to trick themselves into thinking they're in a relationship in order to have nsa sex.

They're all headcases. You making an excuse saying that she has motherly tendencies is just covering up this type of behavior.

Move on before the drama becomes a cancer in your life.

July 27, 2013

Im gonna hazard a guess just in case she doesnt have BPD.

Do you know whether or not she just got out of a relationship before seeing you?

Its as if she was trying to see if she can sleep with you to forget about someone that dumped her, and it didnt work. Thats the only think I can think of as to why she slept with you on first meeting, and then pull away like youre the plague. So any communication you had after that looks like she didnt quite want to cut you loose, but couldnt talk to you because you were bugging her. Nothing is worse than getting texts from someone you dont want to hear from. But its her fault for avoiding telling you she was no longer interested. So not only was she avoiding talking about you and her as a couple, she wanted to be friends, which means she was no longer attracted to you.

I think she wanted a guy that was more of a challenge (for his heart), and you were too easy. I also think it took her so long to meet you because she was working on someone else that didnt work out, and you were the backup (she could have been working on her ex). I advise you to cut her loose, dont bother with her, dont answer any more texts or calls. Shes a headcase. You dont want that.

As far as I know, she wasn't just out of a relationship, but of course that's what I know, she could have well been.

You're right - I don't want that. She went about things the wrong way. Her last status was something about going out and getting "tipsyyyyyyyy" so she obviously doesn't give a ****.

July 27, 2013

Some women need to trick themselves into thinking they're in a relationship in order to have nsa sex.

They're all headcases. You making an excuse saying that she has motherly tendencies is just covering up this type of behavior.

Move on before the drama becomes a cancer in your life.

Thanks man - it'll be hard of course, I'm a decent guy and I did care but yeah...I'ma move on.

July 27, 2013

I think she was involved or wants to be involved with someone else. As I went onto FB to block her and some of her friends just now, she's just uploaded a picture of her and some guy, sitting pretty close, arms round each other...this guy I've never met, but he seems to be her type, from what she's described.

Ugh. She's blocked now, anyway. And her number's been deleted. I am going strict NC. I ain't dragging this on for weeks and months, I want it done.

July 28, 2013

I think she was involved or wants to be involved with someone else. As I went onto FB to block her and some of her friends just now, she's just uploaded a picture of her and some guy, sitting pretty close, arms round each other...this guy I've never met, but he seems to be her type, from what she's described.

Ugh. She's blocked now, anyway. And her number's been deleted. I am going strict NC. I ain't dragging this on for weeks and months, I want it done.

I wish you would read dreamoftigers posts on that thread I mentioned before. Her posts could have been written by the woman you are describing, there are a lot of commonalities. The more I read the more I'm convinced that she is showing very strong BPD traits.

You are indeed a sensitive and caring person, hence your ending up in this situation. As I said before, this is the opportunity for you to understand your attraction to certain dynamics.

I hope you are able to move on and don't allow her to claw you back in. The whole 'friend' thing is entirely consistent with this kind of behaviour, as I said, do try to read dreamoftigers posts in the main BPD thread.

Good luck OP

July 28, 2013

I wish you would read dreamoftigers posts on that thread I mentioned before. Her posts could have been written by the woman you are describing, there are a lot of commonalities. The more I read the more I'm convinced that she is showing very strong BPD traits.

You are indeed a sensitive and caring person, hence your ending up in this situation. As I said before, this is the opportunity for you to understand your attraction to certain dynamics.

I hope you are able to move on and don't allow her to claw you back in. The whole 'friend' thing is entirely consistent with this kind of behaviour, as I said, do try to read dreamoftigers posts in the main BPD thread.

Good luck OP

I've just sat down to read the posts - you're right, I could imagine her coming out with stuff like this. She did draw me in, and now she has pushed me away, calling me 'needy' etc. I have been doing a lot of thinking today, wondering whether she was even attracted to me but I don't think I am at fault.

When I was talking to her yesterday, it seemed like I was talking to an entirely different person, not the person I got to know (or I thought I got to know) - she was so hard and cold I couldn't believe it. She even accused me of "persisting" until we had sex - so not true I feel like laughing. If that was the case, she could have simply said no - although it was not the case at all!!

As for the friend thing - she has said things like "it doesn't need to be finalised in a week" and "let it take it's course" which to me, suggests that she still does like me but doesn't want to let me in or something - I am not hoping that's what she means, I simply think that's what she means. I am moving on anyway, I have spent today cleaning and going out and I haven't been too upset which is a good sign.

Thank you Emilia, for your insight. I definitely think she has BPD as I have never met anyone like this before, usually people are rational in their reasoning for not wanting to date someone any more.

July 30, 2013

She updated her status last night, to something along the lines of "what you're seeing and how I'm coping are two different things, people only see their hurt" - something like that.

I'd much rather she came and spoke to me instead of updating a status, but hey.

Sign In

She's ignoring me, why?

Recommended Posts

dasein

Emilia

ToyStoryThree

Emilia

ToyStoryThree

Emilia

ToyStoryThree

Emilia

ToyStoryThree

Emilia

ToyStoryThree

ToyStoryThree

theloyalone1

ToyStoryThree

ToyStoryThree

theloyalone1

ToyStoryThree

Eddie Edirol

BradJacobs

ToyStoryThree

ToyStoryThree

ToyStoryThree

Emilia

ToyStoryThree

ToyStoryThree

What's New

My Activity Streams

More...