Describe your broken heart

[cavalier99]

I was totally and complety destroyed. Now almost 10 months later I coudnt care less. I talk to her every so often about her life new RS and mine. Its amazing how once your over it, it is like it never happened. The pain was a life time ago. Rock on! Cav

Edited July 22, 2013 by cavalier99

[cavalier99]

I've said this somewhere else on LS, but I'll say it again to defend for those that chose not to let go, here's why:

 

I think sometimes we get comfortable with the pain, just as we got comfortable with them. We hold onto the pain because we associate the pain with them. If we let go of this pain, we let go of them. That's devastating to us. We don't want to let go of them because we can't accept it's over. We figure that if we hang on, they'll wake up. They'll come back. We don't see reality, because we are blinded by our fantasies. We are afraid of letting go because that means they will be gone, our minds can't translate that.

 

So until then we cling to this pain because this pain is...them.

 

Eventualy there is no more clinging to the pain and no more analysis. Just stay NC and it will go away on its own. Cav

[Babolat]

I am surprised though that a dumper can feel this way too. I have a guy friend who broke up with his girlfriend and he said it was because there was no spark, he felt someone else was out there. He misses her deeply and when he talks about her he puts his head down and talks soft. It's so sad. I don't get it. Even at one point he talked about getting her back, but then decided not too.

 

I think dumpers feel the pain too, but they are more current with the reality of the future. We can't accept that reality yet.

 

Tons of sparks with us; best connection of my life. Lifestyle difference I cannot resolve or adapt to though nor can I relate to them. I WISH I could as I want her. And it doesn't make sense to me.

[Babolat]

I understand.

 

This is the first time in so long that I have been selfish, and why not? I don't want to have to depend on someone else to make me happy, that's what I was doing. I could have fallen in " love " with anyone at the time.

 

 

I just got to the point where I want to do what makes ME happy. Once I've done what I wanted and am happy, I will look for someone long term. They may even come before then but this is the last time I'm putting off things I want to do. No one will stand in my way this time.

 

 

I'm open to maybe one day trying again with my ex. I doubt it will happen. Would be at least 5 years or so from now. Who knows what will be going on then

 

My counselor asked me last week to start writing down what makes me happy...do you know how hard that is? I don't know right now..I really do not. Even before I met her, looking back, I am trying to figure out what makes ME happy....try it, try to put this on a list.

[youngnlove89]

Tons of sparks with us; best connection of my life. Lifestyle difference I cannot resolve or adapt to though nor can I relate to them. I WISH I could as I want her. And it doesn't make sense to me.

 

I'm confused. Why did you break up? If you love someone, everything else should come easy, right?

[youngnlove89]

My counselor asked me last week to start writing down what makes me happy...do you know how hard that is? I don't know right now..I really do not. Even before I met her, looking back, I am trying to figure out what makes ME happy....try it, try to put this on a list.

 

You aren't able to answer this question because the things that used to make you happy don't anymore because of your broken heart.

 

I know this because I felt the same way.

 

But what used to make you happy? Trickling of the rain as you fall asleep? Morning cup of coffee? A puppy? A hug from your mom?

 

Start small. I'm sure you can come up with a few things. Don't hold it in.

 

The important part is introducing yourself to the things that make you happy again. Go buy that new cd. Get a massage. Take a walk in the park. Dance in your underwear to Miley Cyrus's new song. Watch a youtube video that makes you tilt your head back and laugh so hard your belly aches.

 

You can do it. You can choose happiness.

[iouaname]

I would say my heart is in the process of mending. I made a lot of mistakes and didn't listen to a lot of good advice for the past seven months, but now that I'm finally applying myself to doing the things that I need to be doing, I am healing much faster.

 

Sometimes I am sad, but the idea that one day this pain will be gone completely is what has kept me going.

[cavalier99]

Hows it going younglove and iouaname? Are u gals NC? Cav

[iouaname]

Hows it going younglove and iouaname? Are u gals NC? Cav

 

Hey, hon! How are you? Long time no see!

 

It's going well. I'm complete no contact and am doing much better. There are still some bad days of course but I'm doing much better. Even though I miss him sometimes I am at the point where I can say confidently that I am glad we broke up and that I would never take him back even if by some miracle he were to want to get back together.

[youngnlove89]

Hows it going younglove and iouaname? Are u gals NC? Cav

 

You do NOT want to know.

[youngnlove89]

Hey, hon! How are you? Long time no see!

 

It's going well. I'm complete no contact and am doing much better. There are still some bad days of course but I'm doing much better. Even though I miss him sometimes I am at the point where I can say confidently that I am glad we broke up and that I would never take him back even if by some miracle he were to want to get back together.

 

Never ever?! How did you get there, tell me your secret!! :bunny:

[theonlyjuan]

Music has always made me happy. It's always been there for me, through good and bad.

 

Eventually you snap out of it. I don't know how and why, it just happens. Something else will take it's place one day.

 

 

I'm not 100% over it all. I am going to have bad days but they will never beat me down. I guess I'm good at picking myself up. It's just how I am and how I work. It will happen to everyone, some just take longer.

 

 

My breakup wasn't nasty. My ex did nothing bad to me, it wasn't a long relationship. I can see why some suffer and find it harder. I am lucky compared to some people's stories I read on here

[cavalier99]

Hey, hon! How are you? Long time no see!

 

It's going well. I'm complete no contact and am doing much better. There are still some bad days of course but I'm doing much better. Even though I miss him sometimes I am at the point where I can say confidently that I am glad we broke up and that I would never take him back even if by some miracle he were to want to get back together.

 

Thats awesome! Im really happy for you. You started out so strong then i remeber it sorta fell apart when you responded to his constant breadcrumbs. Glad to to see your back in control and doing well. Soon this will be over and the BU will be like a life time ago. At least that is how i feel! Take care. Cav

[cavalier99]

You do NOT want to know.

 

Sorry beutiful. Cav

[OverThinker72]

My heartbreak is all over the place. First it was such an intense pain I couldn't breathe. It still hurts to breathe but it's calmed a bit. Last night I was completely numb. I haven't cried once today. I fear I'm going through the healing process too quick and it might back fire. I am at the acceptance stage (I think) and feel that my heart is aware of this, so the deep agony has subsided some what. We only broke up last week and I have gone No Contact and don't intend to break it. I think this eases the heart ache a bit. To be honest I might wake up in tears tomorrow. I just don't know. I just know that my heart will never be broken again because it's slowly turning to stone.

[todreaminblue]

he broke my heart more than once,

many times i felt the sting,

so when it was over i sat there,

remembering a dream that did bring,

every word of what the fat lady did sing,

i knew it was done and I only felt nothing

my heart grew cold and numb.....

lost in a reverie that had struck deb dumb

 

what could i say, when i had already dreamt it that way,

so my heart beat skipped one last time,

the break up had reason and a definite deja vu rhyme

as i looked into his eyes, as i whispered cant we just try,

i felt no surprise,

when he kissed my forehead and we both said goodbye

 

god knew this man wasnt for me,

so god in his infinite kindness and wisdom not with live and let be,

through heart break and knowledge of dreams, god set me free

 

so i could have years on my own meant to reflect and to heal

so my heart could be given to someone who deserves it,

 

thats what i honestly feel.......(from a female dr suess like ryhmer called deb)

Edited July 22, 2013 by todreaminblue

[LME]

I have my ups and downs.

 

I've been feeling good lately. The times my heart aches the most is when i come to the realization that we are not meant to be. Our one year would have been in a few weeks and i think about how that feels like it was yesterday, never mind almost a full year, and i think about those feelings i felt for him when we first met. That is when i feel the most pain, because i think both of us wish it could have stayed like taht but it just didnt.

 

When i think about the last half of our relationship and how i really just was not feeling it, it helps me to cope and understand why it did not work.

[somebodyoutthere]

I feel that my heart is shattered. even though there was betrayal on their side, it just made me feel even more shattered. i've not responded to the ex's attempts to communicate as it has just been too hard.

[for666]

terrible ^^

she broke up with me for no reason what's so ever

i'm not clingy or needy

have allot of hobbies, working out, leaving on my own ,have hie class job in my country (pay'd allot), got degree Robotics

i'm learning allot and love to read... (dyslectic so grammar is ****)

vary funny,clean addict,love cooking

 

and she dump'd me...

i felt i was not good , i was lost with what went wrong, all the quality's i build for so long time to become this Model relationship Boy..

and it was all not good...

i felt lost in my self, questing why did i did this or that, questing my self again and again seeking for answer why i do get dump'd?

and felt in to a hard self depression state

i started to think all my quality's worth noting even do i was always proud of my self.

i felt now i don't know what i am, if i'm good en-of...

lost my self in question's and never did get the answer

i dreams for a month each day that she gonna return and noting bad happen'd

and that time gonna heal us both...

but it didn't happen

i try'd to get the reason from her but all i heart is cloud's of mystery

i felt trap'd in my own body... seeking something to fix.. fix my self my goal

become better and better in order to take her back

i took every bad and good aspect of my personality and question'd it

i buy'd 100 psychological book's and started to read

in order to forge my self stronger than ever... to prove her i am the best

my heart felt empty even do i started to realize it's not me...

it's not me...

but i continued to question my self with pain that i did something wrong

that i'm the one responsible...

it's a roller coaster's of emotion

1 month almost didn't eaten,sleep,enjoyed friend's

2 month self observed question's again and again ( trying to figure out)

3 month try'd some dating.. noting just seen her face and compared each women with her (deleted 10 nice women with no regret)

4 month time to time thinking of her ... with no understanding for her action's

5 month taking all my power to become best i can become

all goal's changed to one goal only

body perfection (gym,swimming,tennis,eating)

personality perfection (book's,drawing more, learning more)

emotion (becoming strong undefinable for pain) i became mush colder

women (book's, some dating, allot new GFriend's more talk's with girls)

6 month

i remember her... i still do... it's hard for me to except she isn't there..

but i'm doing all i can even do i know i have en-of..

i want to be for her the best creation of my ability's...

it sound weird i know..

but success in life is allot of failures ..

i'm k from emotional

i know what i want i know my goal's now i know she just gave me power to become even better from what i am now

i learn from this experiences and suffering..

i'm k now.. not to much hurt i still see her time to time on Facebook friend's and all that and i'm k...

i feel like i'm not complete yet .. not complete with my self..

and when ill be i will sweep her feet out the ground..

for now,i love her.

and her happiness is more important than me.

NC and minimal contact (well almost zero contact)

until i'm not worthy of this girl, let her be free if she's unhappy with me,

ill make my self better for everyone to come near me.

only then i can give her real happiness

(even do i know no reason's are there but i want to become even more perfect)

 

she make's me invincible ^^

and i love her but i don't need her i get it now...

 

thank's for the Thread open'd it made me feel more secure now and happier

[youngnlove89]

I feel that my heart is shattered. even though there was betrayal on their side, it just made me feel even more shattered. i've not responded to the ex's attempts to communicate as it has just been too hard.

 

You are doing the right thing

 

If they cheated, they don't deserve anything from you. You are so strong for not talking back!

[reddragon588]

I wake up everyday thinking about her. After 10 years together, I wonder if she does the same. I ruined our relationship and there is nothing I wouldn't give to start over. It's been close to 2 months since she left our house. I walk around here and every inch of this place is a memory. I tried flowers, texts, calls, cards, poetry. All for nothing. Why do I still feel like there is hope??? She said in the beginning of the breakup that she still loves me. She said I needed to change my ways when I asked her to take me back. I am foolish and naive... Still NC for the second week.

 

It takes two for a relationship to break, just like it takes two for it to continue and be strong.

[Hoaks]

I think I have been in constant pain since we tried again. It was only a couple of weeks and I knew we were doomed at some stage. I knew she was using me and lying but I just wanted to have her in my life, so I accepted it. Prentended it didnt bother me. But it got too much in the end

 

So there has been constant hurt for 3 months now.

 

18 days NC. Trying to stay strong.

[HeartBroken1988]

Feeling quite bad..

I have my ups and downs but I still miss her terribly and I really want to contact her sometimes to have answers or just because I miss her so much.

Our relationship ended really bad, she cheated and showed no emotions and regret and forced me to leave and she just moved on with her new guy. She made me feel like the cheating was just something who opened her eyes about how unhappy she was with me.

I know that we had problems in our last month (mainly comunication- and when I think about it know, maybe it was also her fault because she was no emotionaly connected to me anymore).

 

Deeply inside I know that I don't and can't take her back after that but I just wished sometimes that she would had some regrets and showed me that what we had for more than 2 years was real.

 

I'm trying to move on though but I too suffers from anxiety, rejection and my heart hurts. it's almost 2 months now so I'm feeling quite better though.

[BrokenHeartedSavior]

Wow,

 

Not sure really. Funny because I've been doing a lot of reflecting tonight.

 

8 years together, BU more than a year ago, NC for at least 1/2-3/4 of that time. She's moved on. I still think of her daily (I think) and I quite certain she doesn't think of me, and that hurts, but I do accept it for what it is.

 

She was toxic as hell, the smart me knows that. I still can't seem to go anywhere or do anything and not have it remind me of her. So damn stupid.

 

I'm still not ready to "branch out" the way she has, maybe this year, but not quite yet. I have been thinking of laying off the LS for a while, as I feel I'm drawn to it for comfort, and I'm not sure thats a great idea. I wonder if its keeping the pain of my loss glued to me?

 

I'm certainly not distraught on an hourly basis the way I was a year ago, It's just SO MANY damn memories to try and forget- or at least not let effect me.

 

I have made it through EXACTLY one full year of birthdays, christmas, halloween etc.... Without her, Each was painful, but that was the first and hardest.

 

This is the worst for me- working nights, its quiet and lonely, and thats when it bothers me the most. Other than that?....... Life goes on.

[Enna]

It's a red, squashy thing that pumps blood all around my body without complaint. But it's really pissed off at my brain, which keeps perpetuating NONSENSE about being upset and being unlikely to meet anyone quite the same again.