Describe your broken heart

[youngnlove89]

This is your chance to pour your feelings out...get it all out there.

 

[[it can pertain to past breakups or current ones.]]

 

Tell me everything you are feeling or used to. All the hurt, pain, sadness, depression. What exactly did you go through day and night? How are you planning on overcoming it or if it was a past break what did you do to overcome it?

 

Did your ex contact? How did it make you feel?

Did you never talk to them again? Do you still think about them?

 

Tell me everything and anything! Write as much as you want!

[Divasu]

Pertains to a past breakup way way in the past...

 

I'll sum it up in six words:

Worst pain that I ever felt.

[crederer]

Well it's been about 4 months, so the initial shock and pain is gone. But yah I think of her all the time still. Everything reminds me of her. Any time I see an attractive girl on the street I immediately think back to her, almost like comparing them. I don't know why I do it.

 

Also, when I see her in person it doesn't really bother me much, but she always looks beautiful. "cant you just look like **** one damn time"?

 

She's still single and according to her friends not engaging with men what so ever, (her friends asked what I've been doing dating wise, I told them I'd rather not talk about that as she probably doesn't want to know what I'm up to as much as I don't want to know what she's up to. Her one friend replied "well, she hasn't done a damn thing since the break up") which I'm sure will change at some point and that will probably suck a lot. But part of me wants her to see someone else as I think it may help me get my head out of my ass.

 

As far as physical feelings, when I think about her it almost feels like a nervousness or something. Hard to explain, almost feels like when you're on a roller coaster right as it does the first drop. That's the closest thing I can compare it to.

 

I don't know if it'll ever pass until I find someone else. Yet, I don't want to find someone else so it's a catch 22. Until then I'll probably just engage in meaningless and risky sex with randoms.

[daftpunk]

When she left after so many years, I struggled violently against reality. I wrote her music, sent her flowers, had one of her favorite YouTube stars give her a shout out, wrote her a nice long hand-written letter and mailed it to her, etc. All of the things she would have loved when we were together. But, as they say, a man often meets his fate on the road he takes to avoid it...

 

When these things I was doing were met with apathy and even disdain, my good intentions were corrupted into what I can only describe as clinical psychosis. Things were not handled well from that point on.

 

It was not long before she was with another man. I had no choice but to wish her well and move on. I have nothing to show for all my toil, except scars on my heart and a dwindling capacity to love.

 

It'd taste a lie to say that I don't miss her dreadfully, or that I wouldn't give her another chance.

 

I wish I didn't care anymore.

[TaraMaiden]

What good do threads like this do, if they simply make the pain resurface?

 

And genuinely, I'm asking.

Does the venting bring relief from - or revival of - the sorrow?

[Toddbt12y1]

What good do threads like this do, if they simply make the pain resurface?

 

And genuinely, I'm asking.

Does the venting bring relief from - or revival of - the sorrow?

 

Both. Speaking from personal experience TM.

[crederer]

I think it's a way to talk about it, because for me, being kind of a traditional type of dude in real life, find it difficult to express my emotions to the people around me and I really haven't talked about it much in person to anyone.

 

It doesn't make things harder on me, kind of theraputic in a way. Helps me get things off my chest that I'm too cowardly and stubborn to do in real life.

 

People tell me "wow you are handling this so well" and I act like I am, when really I'm having a much harder time than I lead on.

[JimRiley]

Absolute agony and confusion. My heart break is recent (two weeks ago now) and I'm just having a relapse as of late actually too. I've been doing pretty good on NC until I got a friendly text from her all of a sudden last week Wednesday and we had a pretty positive, pleasant conversation. And I was fine. But then Sunday was her birthday and I was hit pretty hard with it. I sent my planned bday text and that was it for the whole day. Then she dropped a line again that night and eventually she called me. It wasn't a bad conversation or anything, per say, but it wasn't really good either. We butt heads over something I feel was silly. I had a chance to explain some of my hurt feelings because we are "trying" to keep a friendship through this as she really wants apparently and I am not feeling the friendliness from her. She says I've been rude or mean since we've broken up but I've avoided contacting her all together in most cases and thus hardly talk to her any more to begin with. Not sure why she seems to be over thinking everything I say to her (I told her that) as something mean all the time. So now she's basically arguing how I'm not talking to her enough and that's rude I guess. I don't know.

 

It's tearing me apart because breaking up over the uncontrollable GiGS and her being so adamant to keeping a friendship has me almost convinced that we can eventually reconcile. Plus we ended on pretty good terms when I think about it. I'm just over thinking everything because I'm taking this in a completely different way than she is and I don't understand it. I got things on my plate right now regarding my job so I'm more than willing to keep a friendship because she really is an awesome person to be with. I've already taken the high road with this and remained the gentleman by accepting her reasoning for leaving (suddenly fell out of love literally over night yet claims she had it two weeks prior to breaking up but wasn't so sure what to do. No signs at all. everything was absolutely fine. AKA She's confused and having a serious quarter-life crisis). I just believe that a relationship ending on mutual terms really and understanding doesn't have to be over but rather extended.

 

I am at an internal struggle with myself for all this and it's a constant battle. There is no inner peace right now and I get these negative and positive spells all the time. Positive ones have me seeing clearly and I realize that I'm actually doing all right but then suddenly a few days later I just get overwhelmed and lose it. It's all part of the phases of all this I'm sure. I know I don't need to go total NC because I think I'd lose a lot from her family in general (her family loves me to death, have treated me like a son). I put up quite a front on the outside.

 

But I know I'm getting over these highly exaggerated emotions because as much as it hurts, it really isn't the end of the world. We got our lives to live and I got a least 3 years before ill ever be able to get my life on track anyway. So until then...I know what I need to do but I need to squash these powerful emotions that hinder progress when it doesn't have to be like that.

 

 

That's my heartbreak. I'm trying to take it as maturely as possible and so far I'm not doing too bad but now you know the internal struggle regardless.

[xsanex]

I wake up everyday thinking about her. After 10 years together, I wonder if she does the same. I ruined our relationship and there is nothing I wouldn't give to start over. It's been close to 2 months since she left our house. I walk around here and every inch of this place is a memory. I tried flowers, texts, calls, cards, poetry. All for nothing. Why do I still feel like there is hope??? She said in the beginning of the breakup that she still loves me. She said I needed to change my ways when I asked her to take me back. I am foolish and naive... Still NC for the second week.

[youngnlove89]

What good do threads like this do, if they simply make the pain resurface?

 

And genuinely, I'm asking.

Does the venting bring relief from - or revival of - the sorrow?

 

Just like therapy, it's good to talk things out. Not hide them. It's good to know people are here to listen. It's also good to know that people feel the same way you do. Misery loves company. If it doesn't work for you, don't do it.

 

No negativity please.

[youngnlove89]

TaraMaiden, What if you never laughed about anything? What if you had to bottle up every single thing you find funny and prevent yourself from laughing? No fun, right?

 

It's the same with all other feelings. Your body actually releases stress hormones when you experience a negative emotion. If you bottle them up, they stick in your system like garbage and can actually be toxic over the long run. Talking things out actually helps you detoxify your system! Yes, you may initially feel worse when you talk about things that bother you, but that's just the temporary bad smell that comes when you take out the garbage. Once it's gone, you actually feel refreshed and validated. Other people can help you come up with solutions and ideas.

 

Read: Counseling Center » Experiencing and Expressing Emotions

 

I have spoken my feelings, cried with them, laughed with them, been mad at them and to be honest, it hurts at first, but afterward it's like a ton has been lifted off of you. You can think clearer after you know how you feel. I also write. I have a binder full of things I've written in the past year. I could make a book out of it, in fact, I'm considering it.

 

I think it is very important to recognize your emotions and to talk it out. Explain your fears and your sadness. Become friends with it. Face it. Get to the root of it. Then you can fix it. I think it's a very mature thing to do.

 

But hey, that's just me.

[theonlyjuan]

Mine is on the mend

 

I did everything I needed to do early on. I cried, I got angry, sad, depressed etc I saw her, I walked down her road. I listened to songs that reminded me of her, watched shows we watched. I bored everyone to death, talking about her. I thought about her and us constantly.

 

 

Now I think I've had enough. I've done it all, got it out my system. I can only change what I can control, that's myself. So I've decided to make changes to myself and my life.

 

 

Never want to experience those first few weeks again!

[youngnlove89]

The rest of you,

 

All this pain you are feeling is normal. I didn't think it was at first when I woke up at 2am with a panic attack. My heart was hungry for his attention. My head hurt, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat or focus. I wanted to just go to bed. I cried, I actually screamed my tears. I couldn't breathe from it. I laid there in a ball crying, holding myself. I couldn't listen to music or watch TV, I didn't want my coffee (and I love coffee), I threw up after every sip I took of water, I was emotionally and physically done for.

 

It's been a few days since my two day havoc. I never handled a break up that way and I think it was because I was so confused by my ex. He just told me he wouldn't leave me because he loves me and cares for me. We just made plans for my Birthday. He just kissed me the other night. Everything was fine. And then after he dumped me he still dropped of my beautiful birthday present. What was this man doing to me?

 

I still have the sadness, but it's more bearable. I can eat, focus, sleep and laugh. But I still have my moments, oh trust me, those don't go away. But I can see a light. But I have a ways to go before I reach it, but I know it's there.

 

My birthday is next week. Nobody is going to get in the way of that. It's my day, and I'll cry if I want to Just kidding, no crying. I will be happy on my day because I deserve it!

 

I've been heartbroken before, I got through it. I can do it again.

 

Do you guys think about that? About your past relationships, past broken hearts? Remember feeling this way with someone else? Remember how you got through it? Does that help any of you?

[youngnlove89]

Mine is on the mend

 

I did everything I needed to do early on. I cried, I got angry, sad, depressed etc I saw her, I walked down her road. I listened to songs that reminded me of her, watched shows we watched. I bored everyone to death, talking about her. I thought about her and us constantly.

 

 

Now I think I've had enough. I've done it all, got it out my system. I can only change what I can control, that's myself. So I've decided to make changes to myself and my life.

 

 

Never want to experience those first few weeks again!

 

I actually read somewhere that you should bore your mind to death with thoughts of them until you get tired of it. Surprised to hear it works. How the heck?

[sweetkiwi]

Shock. Disbelief. Then, the very same day, I found out my friend died in a horrible accident on the other side of the world.

 

I still speak with him. We are still in love. But are/were not able to deal with the distance. I get happy when I speak to him, I wish we spoke more. He got cranky last time so I cut it short, understandable though. I feel his pain.

 

There's a part of me that hopes cards fall into place and we can be together one day. I still picture what our life would be like together. But maybe I am romanticizing an impossible situation and I need to get my head out of my ass.

[JDPT]

To sum it up my heart has been through the wringer. With my past relationship (broken up roughly 3 months ago) I have learned the definition of being used. In retrospect, all sacrifices and commitments made on my end were completely disregarded and that I will never forgive or forget. She was a wolf in sheep's clothing. I'm still in disbelief, someone who portrayed herself to be so loving, caring, always understanding had malicious motives all along and used me as a crutch to better position herself in life and when I was no longer needed she made the merciless decision to dump me. Work is great for her, her business is booming, she is busy with a million things and of course she no longer finds the need to deal with me any further. I was living a lie for five years, I was painted this illusion of eternal love which was clearly all a strategic plan on her behalf. What type of person does this? Throughout all these five years everything worked in her favor while having me as a crutch to support her in every way possible. Live and learn is what I keep telling myself. I'm highly reluctant of finding someone else but it's best for me to distract myself with other people as I'm certain she has been since day one. So this is just a quick briefing of how my heart has been destroyed by someone who portrayed herself to love me "always."

[Divasu]

Read: Counseling Center » Experiencing and Expressing Emotions

 

Haha, that's where I've been screwed.

 

I'm pretty private with my emotions and tend to keep things to myself it is rare that I will openly talk about my most deepest feelings. It's only usually years later that I can talk about it and it doesn't affect me.

[sweetkiwi]

Haha, that's where I've been screwed.

 

I'm pretty private with my emotions and tend to keep things to myself it is rare that I will openly talk about my most deepest feelings. It's only usually years later that I can talk about it and it doesn't affect me.

Isn't that how people spontaneously combust....

[Divasu]

Isn't that how people spontaneously combust....

 

Yes.

[Babolat]

I was the dumper, I broke up with her almost 4 months ago. It was pretty mutual though; we both just hit a frustration point.

 

I still think about her every day, probably every hour and wonder "why" and "what if".

 

I am sure I bore those around me talking fondly about her still.

 

I had a couple of episodes where I broke down and cried uncontrollably. I fought it at first, then let it happen and it helped, a lot.

 

I tried to date; can't right now.

 

I have a lot of anxiety still I am dealing with. As I type this I feel myself grinding my teeth. I have had some mini panic attacks, nothing serious though.

 

Weekends are tough, real tough. I feel alone, I miss her. I wonder what she is doing.

 

I never knew being the one breaking up would be like this.

[theonlyjuan]

I guess it depends on how you are. I can't stand moping and feeling sad. I don't think anyone likes it but some get stuck doing it.

 

For the first few weeks I was searching for answers in my head, then realised there ain't any answers.

 

 

I just got to a point where my mind gave up. I woke up one day and was like " sod this, it's a waste of time "

 

 

At the moment, I really couldn't care less about her. I don't care what she's doing, who's she's with, where she is.

 

 

You can think things a billion times in your head, it won't get you anywhere. Time best spent doing something else.

 

 

I have a lot if things I can improve about myself and my life. Right now, I am more important than anything. You just need to get that attitude and you won't care so much.

 

 

Of course I think of her, I don't dwell on what could have been or why

[youngnlove89]

I was the dumper, I broke up with her almost 4 months ago. It was pretty mutual though; we both just hit a frustration point.

 

I still think about her every day, probably every hour and wonder "why" and "what if".

 

I am sure I bore those around me talking fondly about her still.

 

I had a couple of episodes where I broke down and cried uncontrollably. I fought it at first, then let it happen and it helped, a lot.

 

I tried to date; can't right now.

 

I have a lot of anxiety still I am dealing with. As I type this I feel myself grinding my teeth. I have had some mini panic attacks, nothing serious though.

 

Weekends are tough, real tough. I feel alone, I miss her. I wonder what she is doing.

 

I never knew being the one breaking up would be like this.

 

Aw I wish I could give everyone a big hug right now. It hurts.

 

I'm so sorry for everyone one of you. Thank you so much for telling me your deep feelings as I know it might hurt to talk about it. I really appreciate it though and hopefully more come along and share their feelings.

 

I've felt everything everyone has said they felt. I am surprised though that a dumper can feel this way too. I have a guy friend who broke up with his girlfriend and he said it was because there was no spark, he felt someone else was out there. He misses her deeply and when he talks about her he puts his head down and talks soft. It's so sad. I don't get it. Even at one point he talked about getting her back, but then decided not too.

 

I think dumpers feel the pain too, but they are more current with the reality of the future. We can't accept that reality yet.

[youngnlove89]

I guess it depends on how you are. I can't stand moping and feeling sad. I don't think anyone likes it but some get stuck doing it.

 

You can think things a billion times in your head, it won't get you anywhere. Time best spent doing something else.

 

I've said this somewhere else on LS, but I'll say it again to defend for those that chose not to let go, here's why:

 

I think sometimes we get comfortable with the pain, just as we got comfortable with them. We hold onto the pain because we associate the pain with them. If we let go of this pain, we let go of them. That's devastating to us. We don't want to let go of them because we can't accept it's over. We figure that if we hang on, they'll wake up. They'll come back. We don't see reality, because we are blinded by our fantasies. We are afraid of letting go because that means they will be gone, our minds can't translate that.

 

So until then we cling to this pain because this pain is...them.

[thishatteredsymphony]

My heart feels completely shattered and broken.

 

I never saw it coming. Call it blind faith because when I look back now there were clear red flags and my mistake wasn't that I was ignoring them, but outright did not see them for what they were. You never really want or expect your significant other to cheat on you, and we had such a strong, wonderful relationship (at least in my eyes, it was) that I never once suspected something sinister going on behind my back those nights she was going dancing.

 

But yet, it happened. Literally the day before I found out I was looking at engagement rings as I had been saving up money to buy one. My life went from complete happiness to utter destruction in the span of a minute. That's all it took.

 

Since then, it has been a rough road for me. The pain I feel at having been so betrayed and rejected for the other guy... it is beyond words. No matter what my faults may have been, the warnings I failed to see, the things I could have done, none of that compares to what she did. And ultimately, no matter where my life goes now, there will always be a piece of my heart that belongs to her and I will never have it back.

[theonlyjuan]

I understand.

 

This is the first time in so long that I have been selfish, and why not? I don't want to have to depend on someone else to make me happy, that's what I was doing. I could have fallen in " love " with anyone at the time.

 

 

I just got to the point where I want to do what makes ME happy. Once I've done what I wanted and am happy, I will look for someone long term. They may even come before then but this is the last time I'm putting off things I want to do. No one will stand in my way this time.

 

 

I'm open to maybe one day trying again with my ex. I doubt it will happen. Would be at least 5 years or so from now. Who knows what will be going on then