mordor Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 We're both in our mid-late 20's. We moved in together really quickly, as we were friends before we started dating. We've built a whole life together, even though it's "only" been about 1.5 years.... friends, furniture, hobbies. She has no idea I am having a lot of questions about what I want and if it's her, and it's clear she wants this relationship to be her last. The thought of breaking up makes me want to vomit, partially because of how destroyed I think she'll be, but also because of how greatly our lives are intertwined. We live an a very expensive city, and neither could probably afford to live on our own, considering the cost of rent in our area. Anyone have any experience with something like this?
Philosoraptor Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 Sure, it's difficult. But once you've decided it's what you want to do you'll find a way to make it happen. I did the same thing a couple of years ago. Even worse, we had a house together. But you'll figure out a way to make it happen. Find a roommate if money is the concern, plenty of people in the paper and on craigslist looking. But you can't stay with her to protect her, and you can't stay because external issues make it hard. If you're not feeling the way you need to, then talk to her about it and work on it or end it and find a new path. 1
eleve82 Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 I can tell you that as the receiving party of a similar scenario, don't be too quick to assume that just because she wants this relationship to be the last, that she won't be able to move on quickly. But once you make this decision, you better be 100% sure you will never regret it because in such scenarios, there is no looking back.
TigerCub Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 The ex and I broke up and we were living together. But we were living in his house (we didn't own it together), so I guess it could have been worse. But yeah, it was stressful because I was the one that had to do everything to move out. - find a new place - get new furniture - set up the move (he did actually help on moving day, so that was nice of him) - pack, etc... I worried so much and I had panic attacks and I actually thought to myself "I bet a lot of people just stay in their situations because this sh*t can be very difficult" and again, my case wasn't the worst case scenario (some people share a mortgage and bank accounts and have kids together) - so it could have been worse. You'll get through this too. Just decide what you want and go from there. It takes planning but it can be done.
Author mordor Posted July 22, 2013 Author Posted July 22, 2013 True. I know it's not as bad as a messy divorce, and there are no children involved. It just feels like one of those "grass is greener" situations, but I feel like I KNOW the grass is greener. It's hard because she's done nothing wrong... I've just started to see that she doesn't make me happy like I want to be. I'm hard pressed to find her interesting, she never really makes me laugh, or think in a complex way. In-depth and compelling conversation is harder and harder to come by the longer we are together. These things are the worst!
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