Rafaelos Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 Okay I need some help here. I was in a 2 year relationship, long distance and I broke it off because we started speaking each other way too less every day due circumstances. It was also involved with stress from school and all. She agreed, and after 2 months I noticed she unblocked me and we got back in touch. Generally had a talk about how things were going, and she said she was doing good and I was too. She also said she was seeing someone else and moved on and wanted to know why I seeked contact with her. I told her I just wanted to see how she was, and she said that she wanted to have things stay like they are. We had a small former break like in the beginning, and after 2 months we got back in touch and gotten back together and that led to these 2 years. But she didn't the same thing to happen now. I told her after a while that I saw the break up as a real break up as well, but that I did it mostly for her (long story, i wanted to give her space to not suffer from the stress she was already having plus an unhealthy relationship, before that I was always there for her). That I had great times with her but that i thought that under these circumstances i couldnt see her and wished her the best. 3 months forward (yesterday) and I broke no contact. She's still on vacation in an other country and said she's doing good. We had a small talk and caught up a little. She mentioned had plans of moving to an other country (despite starting university) this end of the year to her boyfriend because he works there for a year. He could find her a job while she could study etc, but because he is too busy they decided to maybe do it next year. She also said (when i asked) that her parents seem to like the guy, which was surprising for her. I just don't understand, we barely fought, we had a great thing going on, I care deeply for her and was always there for her. Surely that meant something to her? I guess she has moved on now, but I never said that I am sorry for how I broke up and that it was selfish of me and an in the moment thing. And that I didn't think this'd be the outcome of it. We're on speaking terms now, but I don't think I can be friends with her this way. What should I tell her? Should I be completely honest, open up and tell her that I'm sorry, how I feel and that I can't be friends this way? Or say nothing and just delete her, or try being a friend. (which I know is gonna suck) I really wonder what would happen if I open up to her, and ask her straight up if she still has any feelings and what she thought of the break up. And how she will take my apology. I know she won't take me back, but I feel like I at least owe her an apology. And when we broke up and after, I never begged, pleaded or stalked/spammed her. But I still care for her so deeply. And wanted to rather work things out then having lost her for good when I broke it up. Please, I really need some input here thank you.
Philosoraptor Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 She has stated what she wanted, and all you can do is respect that. On your end, I'd say just worry about yourself for now and work on moving on yourself. Keep busy and keep happy, and in time you'll cross the right person. You may also want to avoid the long distance as the communication part clearly caused an issue for you.
Author Rafaelos Posted July 22, 2013 Author Posted July 22, 2013 She has stated what she wanted, and all you can do is respect that. On your end, I'd say just worry about yourself for now and work on moving on yourself. Keep busy and keep happy, and in time you'll cross the right person. You may also want to avoid the long distance as the communication part clearly caused an issue for you. Well it was because she always had to go at a certain time and after that we wouldn't see each other till next day. We talk on skype btw i have her in my list. But is it an good idea to be honest and apologize, and tell her that was selfish ad a mistake? And how could i tell her i need space to move on after that? I don't think I can stay with how things are now cause I still feel for her and I'd hate to see her in my list everytime and get hurt again.
StrongLass Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 We're on speaking terms now, but I don't think I can be friends with her this way. What should I tell her? Should I be completely honest, open up and tell her that I'm sorry, how I feel and that I can't be friends this way? Or say nothing and just delete her, or try being a friend. (which I know is gonna suck) You answered your own question here. If you don't feel you can do it then don't hurt yourself trying do it even when you d*mn well you can't. I really wonder what would happen if I open up to her, and ask her straight up if she still has any feelings and what she thought of the break up. And how she will take my apology. I know she won't take me back, but I feel like I at least owe her an apology. And when we broke up and after, I never begged, pleaded or stalked/spammed her. But I still care for her so deeply. And wanted to rather work things out then having lost her for good when I broke it up. There's nothing wrong with wanting to apologize if you were the one in the wrong. Just keep your expectations of how she'll respond in check. Good luck
AllTooWell Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 I don't think you should apologize or do anything right now. She's with someone else and it would show a lot of respect for both her, her BF and yourself if you waited until they broke up. (Yes I realize this could take a while. But if by the time that's happened you've moved on, well then! Win/Win situation) If you speak to her now, judging from what she's said to you I do not think she cares to hear your apology. I think it may hurt her because she's told you she doesn't want things to change from how they currently are. If you can't talk to her anymore, stop. It seems like you're the one reaching out to her and she's replying. So stop contacting her. I do not support breaking up relationships like that. Have the initial reasons for your breakup changed? Or are you just a bit jealous she's moved on?
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