I met this amazing guy and now need your thoughts on life-changing decision

[california15]

Because I know what the rational answer is: Don't go

 

which also means it will be ending next week if thats how things pan out, and it breaks my heart to accept that. So maybe all the distraught stuff is a premature acceptance

 

But I'm young and I really like this guy and I want to see where things go because he is so amazing and I'd be ready to follow him

[aussietigerwolf]

I'd follow this one guy anywhere but... I can also be an artist anywhere so I wouldn't be giving up what makes me happy just to be with him.

[pink_sugar]

Going back to school is a bad idea with or with out him. Don't fall for the education scam anymore than you have to. Grad School is often the most costly part of the journey with little to know gain in pay. The experience you'd get from working will look far more attractive to employers not to mention net you years of being paid instead of paying.

 

If this guy is the one and he wants you to move with him than do it!

 

I disagree. Yes, a lot of degrees can be useless. Key is knowing what field that is high in demand and will guarantee you a job. That doesn't mean Psychology, Art History, Political Science etc. Business, Nursing as well as Science and Math related degrees have the best earning potential. Most people I know who haven't found work have a crappy degree and no work experience.

 

A lot of jobs I encouter in my job search, at least half to 75% require a college degree PLUS experience. If you are able to work your way up somewhere, you can be doing that for 10-20 years. Employers want experience AND a degree nowadays. I know someone who made nearly six figures and was unemployed 6 years despite many years of experience. It was because she lacked a degree.

 

If you get a practical degree, it's worth the investment in the long run.

 

Getting a degree increases earning power and job satisfaction. Getting a higher degree (Masters or Doctorate) increases that even more. Not having a degree will definitely limit you as to the jobs you would qualify for or be able to apply for. I've been debating this same thing with one of my sons who is currently attending college. My other sons already have degrees. Even if you don't necessarily need a degree for a certain job, it still looks good on your resume and will give you an advantage with employers, unless of course the job you are applying for is so menial that an employer would be concerned that a highly educated person might be tempted to leave the job for something better.

 

Yes! Agree 110%!

[kassy]

Surely the answer is to do your post grad degree close to where he is? Why is this not an option you are considering? I mean why does moving there mean you have to delay this?

 

I am decidedly against this unless you study now otherwise you will likely resent this move even if the relationship goes well.

 

I would go only in the situation where you don't have anything to lose. I know too many people who have made similar moves for it to go sour quickly. I do know a few successes ... But not many.

 

Dropping your plans and school to be with him puts so much pressure on the relationship to work.

 

How long is your grad school course? If it is a year or two surely you can just do it as planned and get in touch after if you are both single the. You can have another go at it?

 

I met my boyfriend when his life was chaos. We had a hard conversation where we decided to leave it there. If his life calmed down to get in touch and if I was still single then we would try again. 7 months later he got in touch and we began dating again. I treated that time as if I was single and dated others but nothing was serious as i didnt meet anyone amazing. I also just got on with my life started a new business and stuff. Now we are happy. No one compromised anything. Yes one of us might have found someone... But then we would have had the option at that point to decide what relationship to pursue. I also cant do long distance relationships. we had no contact during that 7 months. It's a risk... But so is going.

 

Also he isn't willing not to take his job to be with you... Suggests that he doesn't see this as seriously as you...

 

I vote you act like a grown up, not like someone who is worried he is her last chance at happiness... There are lots of great men out there. Don't make this decision out of fear of being single forever.

[california15]

so I've had about a day to continue to think about things and talk to a few close friends.

 

I realized I'm so very excited about my school in new england and the acceptance because I worked very hard this last year to align my ducks in a row to get there and I'm trying to stay focused on that. Everyone has been incredibly supportive of me in that aspect. There are no programs within 200 miles of him (once he moves) in my specialty, so going back to school would not be an option at that time. Should I take that as a sign? Who knows. I'm trying to find clarity. Some have said if its supposed to happen (anything really), then things will just fall into place and it will happen easily. Does anyone believe that?

 

I haven't made any decisions yet, and will continue to date him and talk about things between now and then.

 

MP: I was saying I think a LDR would fail because if neither one of us has decided now we don't want that, neither one would put the required effort in to make it successful. Not necessarily that it's not strong enough to last one. We wouldn't know if it would be; I'm done with LDRs and would rather not even go there anymore.

[2sunny]

I think your personal accomplishments and goals should be your first priority.

 

No one can ever take away your education. It's worth getting it done now.

 

If he's truly interested it will work out - but you must remain on path for your goals.

 

 

I gave up many of my priorities to be with my husband. After 23 years together we divorced. I regret I didn't make MY goals my biggest priority back then. I resented him for my sacrifices.