SJ69 Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 Hey guys! So me and my ex broke up about 3 weeks ago. We've been no contact since, except for her texting me about 2 weeks ago to ask how I was doing and about my tattoo, I ran into her at a party, and ran into her at a store, she was very nice and so was I but that's another story, besides that, we haven't spoken. We broke up because she loved me but lost her investment into the relationship and didn't want to hurt me and stick around and wait for it to come back. We were together about 15 months, that was my bestfriend and I was hers. Unfortunately since, she's changed drastically! I hate to see her changing like this but it's not my place to help her out anymore, especially after the hurtful breakup. Well, her birthday is the 24th, and I was wondering if I should tell her happy birthday? We leave for college in a month, different schools, and she knows all there is to know about me and me to her, bestfriend is an understament, it's just a very unfortunate situation. Thank you in advance for your responses!
Philosoraptor Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 No, you shouldn't. Stop worrying about her birthday at all, or anything about her. You two are not together anymore so you have no investment in her personal choices.
ddspike21 Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 as philsoraptor said (love that meme btw) dont do it.
youngnlove89 Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 My birthday is next week and I was wondering the same, "Is he going to wish me a Happy Birthday?" It's a tough call. He either wishes me a Happy Birthday and I get all giggly inside, but then sad because it's over between us. Or he doesn't wish me a Happy Birthday, I get sad because I think he forgot/doesn't care, but then I realize it's for the best. No contact is crucial. Even though it sucks and it hurts, you aren't together anymore. You aren't friends. You just have a past. Don't wish her Happy Birthday. It's for the best
JDPT Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 As stated, no need to contact. My ex's birthday was last week or maybe the week before I can't rember anymore. Anyhow I didn't think twice about contacting her as it was no longer my place to even wish her a happy birthday.
lukekarts Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 My ex had me arrested on her birthday. I took that as a sign not to wish her a happy birthday. Life... such a bitch! lol
frostythesnowman Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 My ex was my best friend and someone who had seen an emotional side of me that no one had seen before, so we were very close. When I made the mistake of wishing her a happy birthday a couple months after the breakup, she responded by telling me that she had had sex for the first time that day with her new guy.... Not saying yours will do the same, but moral of the story is don't wish your ex a happy birthday.
Chi townD Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 My ex was my best friend and someone who had seen an emotional side of me that no one had seen before, so we were very close. When I made the mistake of wishing her a happy birthday a couple months after the breakup, she responded by telling me that she had had sex for the first time that day with her new guy.... Not saying yours will do the same, but moral of the story is don't wish your ex a happy birthday. OUCH DUDE!!!! Why the hell did she think it was necessary to tell you that?!?!?! 1
frostythesnowman Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 OUCH DUDE!!!! Why the hell did she think it was necessary to tell you that?!?!?! That is beyond me... I remember feeling so helpless when she told me. Yet I continued to try and be with her, so shame on me. **** like that is why she is never gonna hear from me again
Philosoraptor Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 OUCH DUDE!!!! Why the hell did she think it was necessary to tell you that?!?!?! Gotta "win" the breakup.
xilver Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 It depends on a lot of things. How strong you are, if you want her back, what your relationship was like, how you think she will respond, and if you can live with whatever her response is. All the people telling you not to do it are saying that for your well being. Personally I've gone both routes, but guess what? I only regret not saying it to one person that I loved. I heard from this person about 9 months after we broke up and the one thing she told me was that she couldn't believe I didn't wish her a happy birthday. It's not always about moving on and getting over your pain because nobody knows what you two feel for each other except you two. Another example, because I learned from that one was from an ex who I also loved. When her bday came around I sent her a bday card with some lottery tickets stashed inside. Even though we didn't have a great relationship I still cared about her. Anyway it was about 2 months after the relationship ended and we weren't talking at all. I texted her happy bday and she said thank you, so I thought no big deal. A few days later I guess she finally got around to checking her mail and she was floored. Apparently I was the only one to give her anything for her bday. It genuinely made me feel good to do that. I mean how sad to not get anything on your bday. I don't understand how people can suddenly be so cold to people who meant the world to you. I mean sometimes things don't work out and yes you have to move on with your lives. But if you are strong enough to move on and still tell her happy bday, then by all means do it. 2
Author SJ69 Posted July 24, 2013 Author Posted July 24, 2013 (edited) <Similar threads merged by moderation> Hey guys! Tomorrow is my ex girlfriends birthday. She'll be 18 and we were together for every event. My birthday, graduation, all holidays, everything. That was my bestfriend and I was hers. There's nothing she doesn't know about me and vice versa. We broke up for reasons I can't be 100% sure of. But what I was told, was she wasn't as invested, she loved me but didn't know if her feelings would come back. We've been no contact since the breakup, about 3 weeks ago. We'll both be going away to college in about a month. Since she's been flirting, having a good time, ect, and after I realized she was doing whatever she wanted so I should as well, I have been doing the same. She's texted me once since, about two weeks ago, and made some moves towards me on social netorking sites, but she's ultimately doing what she would like. Should I wish her a happy birthday tomorrow? Edited July 24, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Merged threads
xilver Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 One of my ex's birthday's is coming up in a week. I haven't talked to her in over 2 years. I never told her happy bday the past 2 years since the breakup and it is something I regret not doing. I have the feeling I will do it this year either by phone or email, whatever works. I don't feel like this about most of my other ex's tho, this one treated me very well when we were together. So imagine yourself in a few years if you can. One route you do say HBD and one you don't. Which is easier to live with do you think?
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 Hey guys! Tomorrow is my ex girlfriends birthday. She'll be 18 and we were together for every event. My birthday, graduation, all holidays, everything. That was my bestfriend and I was hers. There's nothing she doesn't know about me and vice versa. We broke up for reasons I can't be 100% sure of. But what I was told, was she wasn't as invested, she loved me but didn't know if her feelings would come back. We've been no contact since the breakup, about 3 weeks ago. We'll both be going away to college in about a month. Since she's been flirting, having a good time, ect, and after I realized she was doing whatever she wanted so I should as well, I have been doing the same. She's texted me once since, about two weeks ago, and made some moves towards me on social netorking sites, but she's ultimately doing what she would like. Should I wish her a happy birthday tomorrow? ..........................................hell no
Author SJ69 Posted July 24, 2013 Author Posted July 24, 2013 Xilver, thank you for your response! She treated me extremely well when we were together and I didn't necessarily always show my gratefulness for that, which is something I regret every day. But since the breakup and about two weeks before the breakup, she was the ungrateful one and the one who could've cared less. Constantly partying, making mistakes, ect. She's changed drastically as a person since as well but I can't help but to think I should wish her a happy birthday. But does she even deserve it after everything with the breakup?
Willusmile Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 I guess it really depends on how you feel at this moment. I was dumped by ex of 5 years about 3 weeks ago and his birthday is today. So far I haven't gotten him a gift, or wished him happy birthday. I asked my friends for advice and they all said don't tell him anything. But then again, I am not planning on being friends with my ex. Ever. But if you feel differently, if you feel you can be friends with her, then by all means go for it.
xilver Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 Xilver, thank you for your response! She treated me extremely well when we were together and I didn't necessarily always show my gratefulness for that, which is something I regret every day. But since the breakup and about two weeks before the breakup, she was the ungrateful one and the one who could've cared less. Constantly partying, making mistakes, ect. She's changed drastically as a person since as well but I can't help but to think I should wish her a happy birthday. But does she even deserve it after everything with the breakup? I hear ya. She probably doesn't deserve it. She might not appreciate it at all and lash out at you or something. Sometimes people don't want to help themselves and won't accept kindness from others but at the same time it can be a cold lonely world out there and she may have to experience that before she snaps out of whatever she is going through. You still have a full night to sleep on it.
singme2sleep Posted July 24, 2013 Posted July 24, 2013 I've been in your position, don't do it! Even if you have no expectations, somewhere deep down you will and either hearing nothing or getting a bad response hurts...trust me.
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