JohnathanWalker Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 My ex and I had been together for 1.5 years, and two days ago we broke it of because of a mutual decision that we did not have the same goals and we were both going off to different places. We both loved each other and do still (considering we only broke up two days ago), or so I thought. I found out from a mutual friend (trustworthy) that she was already having sex with someone and was going to have sex with another person as well. I know that I am not seeing her any more and that it's not my place to judge, but I just feel so depressed, betrayed and upset. How could she do this to me? It makes me feel like I didn't even mean anything to her at all.
eleve82 Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 JohnathanWalker.. don't know if this helps but my ex of 2.5 years did that too - I first started hearing of stories of him bringing home different girls from a mutual friend and saw him making out with a girl in a club -- all less than 3 months after he broke up with me and moved out. Funny thing is, when at that moment I sent him a message telling him "Thanks for letting me see you for what you are", he actually told me "your spite makes it easier to get over you". I later learnt that this was his way of trying to "get over' me as fast as possible, but that it didn't actually work. I know how you feel - it really hurts and I went thru a phase where I thought "if he could do this, so can I" and frankly it was self destructive and I felt disgusted with myself during that time. Don't let her actions get to you - the true story could be very different from outward appearances. Ultimately, however, this could help you get over her quickly, which may not be a bad thing.. Best of luck & wishes
Philosoraptor Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 She's not doing anything to you, you guys are done. Everyone makes their own choices and do what they think is best for themselves. Sleeping with other guys may be helping her move on. Don't worry about her though and tell your friends not to talk about her at all. Just focus on you and the things in life that make you happy. 3
amaysngrace Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 Some people sleep around while they're in a committed relationship. Just sayin... 3
oldshirt Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 For starters noone really knows what goes on in other peoples beds. And definately noone has a clue as to what is going to be happening in someone else's bed in the FUTURE. Heck she probably does even know who she's going to be with in the future. Your buddy certainly doesnt have any ability to predict that. That all being said, no matter how much you try to tell yourself that alls fair after a mutual break up, it does sting that she is moving on so seemlessly. Deep down a part of us wants to believe the other person is mourning us and sad rather than out partying it up. Only real remady to this is get out and live a good life yourself and turn a blind eye to what she is doing. Tell your friends to mind their own business and stay out of her business.
oldshirt Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 For starters noone really knows what goes on in other peoples beds. And definately noone has a clue as to what is going to be happening in someone else's bed in the FUTURE. Heck she probably does even know who she's going to be with in the future. Your buddy certainly doesnt have any ability to predict that. That all being said, no matter how much you try to tell yourself that alls fair after a mutual break up, it does sting that she is moving on so seemlessly. Deep down a part of us wants to believe the other person is mourning us and sad rather than out partying it up. Only real remady to this is get out and live a good life yourself and turn a blind eye to what she is doing. Tell your friends to mind their own business and stay out of her business.
Chi townD Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 Well, it sounds like your friends are trying to help you. They may figure that if you found out what she's been up to and the type of person she is, it may help you heal faster. But, all they're doing is hurting you further. As far as what your Ex is doing. It kind tells you where you stood with her. She didn't even mourn the loss of you or the relationship before jumping in bed with someone else. Which leads me to believe that if she was that comfortable with jumping in the sack just mere days after ending it, it kinda leads me to believe that she was cheating on you or involved with someone else before the end of the relationship. Look, you need to heal from this. I agree with the others in telling your friends that you would rather not hear about her. You need to start NC. There's a strong chances that she may contact you just to catch up. As far as she knows, you're still clueless to her behavior. So, ignore everything from her. Time to move on. 1
crederer Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 It's a rebound, lots of people do it. It was not wise for your friends to tell you.
aloneinaz Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 Ok, you two were together 1.5 years. She could of checked out emotionally from that relationship weeks or months ago. When you broke up, she felt relief and now is moving on with her life. Ask yourself honestly, was the relationship really on solid ground before the breakup? My ex broke up with me 3 times this year. The last time we got together, I don't think she was that committed to me or the relationship. The last two months she wanted to spend less time w/me, less sex, less romance, short tempered, bitchy, less affectionate, etc.. I knew it and talked to her about it and just got the usual BS. Everything's fine, etc. the day she broke up with me, she told me she loved me multiple times. We made a summer trip plan. She told me I was stuck with her for the duration. I went to her house for a normal dinner and she turned into her usual super bitch and I told her I was tiring of the way she talked to me. She ended it. I said fine and left. She hasn't heard from me since (7 weeks ago) nor will she ever. She was signed up on a dating site 6 days later, so my thoughts about her losing interest in me or the relationship were on point. Move on with your life.. Clearly, she wasn't that into you or your relationship if she's sleeping with people after days. I don't think you need to mourn this failed relationship for extended periods either. Get back on the horse when you're able to and find someone else. That's what I did. After two or three weeks, I started dating again. I've had a great time. I dated several gals and am now only seeing one who I REALLY like. She's better looking, better body, and most important, she's a nice person unlike my ex. Relationships fail all the time. It's how we chose to move forward afterwards that counts.
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