lukekarts Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 To cut things short (They've already been posted). My ex: - allowed me to leave my job and move 100 miles to be with her (to a city where I have just 1 friend and no family) - allowed me to move in with her - allowed me to pay all the fees for credit checks for a new flat lease - allowed me to sell my car so we could share hers then, 4 weeks after starting my new job and had moved in: - dumped me via text message - the dumping was just before I raced a car (could have been v dangerous) - the dumping was whilst I was 150 miles away, and had to drive back - kicked me out at 10pm with nowhere to go and work the next day - had me arrested for harassment (I wanted answers) All after 10 years of what I thought was a great relationship, due to what I think is GIGS. In your experience, will she ever apologise for how ridiculously badly / selfishly she has treated me? I feel like she's totally ruined my life.
Emilia Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 To cut things short (They've already been posted). My ex: - allowed me to leave my job and move 100 miles to be with her (to a city where I have just 1 friend and no family) - allowed me to move in with her - allowed me to pay all the fees for credit checks for a new flat lease - allowed me to sell my car so we could share hers Maybe you should take responsibility for your actions? - You chose to leave your job and move 100 miles to be with her - You chose to move in with her - You chose to pay all the fees for credit checks (Why? ) - You chose to sell your car I feel like she's totally ruined my life. You sure give her a lot of power over your life. How would an apology make a difference? It's only words.
Author lukekarts Posted July 22, 2013 Author Posted July 22, 2013 Maybe you should take responsibility for your actions? - You chose to leave your job and move 100 miles to be with her - You chose to move in with her - You chose to pay all the fees for credit checks (Why? ) - You chose to sell your car You sure give her a lot of power over your life. How would an apology make a difference? It's only words. I did all these things not knowing she had been feeling this way since the start of the year. I was ready to move jobs anyway, but not necessarily to here. I would have had more friends here, but they are all what I would class as 'mutual' friends. Selling my car and paying the fees made sense because I'd be saving money using her car. I basically did all that stuff because at the time it made logical sense and I didn't see it as giving her lots of power. It's obviously only in hindsight that she's let me know she's had those thoughts for months, which has made me I feel like I've been royally screwed over. Everything that she was, or the principles she claimed she held (particularly with how downright angry she has been at other people's breakups and how they have been handled) she's gone and done even worse herself. I think I would feel better if at some point she acknowledged that through an apology. If not, I feel like I'll be stuck in a place wishing she was starved of oxygen.
Emilia Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 I did all these things not knowing she had been feeling this way since the start of the year. I was ready to move jobs anyway, but not necessarily to here. I would have had more friends here, but they are all what I would class as 'mutual' friends. Selling my car and paying the fees made sense because I'd be saving money using her car. I basically did all that stuff because at the time it made logical sense and I didn't see it as giving her lots of power. So you are telling me you were with someone for 10 years and you had no inkling that your relationships was crumbling?
Author lukekarts Posted July 22, 2013 Author Posted July 22, 2013 So you are telling me you were with someone for 10 years and you had no inkling that your relationships was crumbling? No. Not even a tiny inkling. Nor did any of my friends, family, her friends or family. If anything, two weeks before the breakup, I would have said our relationship was at its strongest point ever.
Emilia Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 No. Not even a tiny inkling. Nor did any of my friends, family, her friends or family. If anything, two weeks before the breakup, I would have said our relationship was at its strongest point ever. Is this the case you think because the two of you were in a long distance relationship and that became 'short distance' she realised it wouldn't work?
Author lukekarts Posted July 22, 2013 Author Posted July 22, 2013 Is this the case you think because the two of you were in a long distance relationship and that became 'short distance' she realised it wouldn't work? No I don't think thats it, everything she said was typical of the GIGS topic, my frustration is that she's thought all of these things for so long yet allowed me to basically make a load of sacrifices for her without telling me. We haven't always been long distance, apart from University and the past year when she moved cities. Up until September we lived 10 minutes apart and saw each other nearly every day.
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