Hope4me Posted October 26, 2004 Posted October 26, 2004 man i just broke up w/ my fiance today. we have been together 2 years and we were getting married in may 2005. my mom was flying here form africa (my parnets are missionaries) on the 2nd of november to help me with starting the wedding planns. i am 23 and this is the first relationship i have ever been in and i feel like someone has ripped my heart out of my chest. i love him so much but yet i knew i wasn't supposed to marry him. i knew it wasn't right but i wanted it to work. he is bi-polar and when we met i was overweight, i have been overweight since i was 3yrs. old. but since we have been together i have gained about 60 pounds. some of it was from birth control. but he started making comments like "i don't want to marry an obese person" and "i have a really hard time staying w/ one woman and what are you giving me to make me want to stay w/ you". i have become an extremely obsessive person and very insecure. i was working on it but know every girl he looked at i was so jealous and paranoid. i am really hurting right now. i love him so much but at the same time i know this is right. i can't stop weeping over this. it's almost like a divorce without the marriage certificate and the costs! we have lived together since 3 months after we met........... if he wants to get back together i don't know what to do... i love him so much but our realtionship is not healthly.
Naive Posted October 26, 2004 Posted October 26, 2004 I'm sorry for your pain hon', but if he's like that right now, that you are not even married, imagine once you are married. Maybe you should still have your parents go to where you live so that they can help you cope.
Author Hope4me Posted October 26, 2004 Author Posted October 26, 2004 yah man it hurts so bad i feel like i have nothing. all i can do is cry. i was so excited about getting married. my mom is still coming to be with me. i also have 2 sisters that live here and i am going to stay with one of them and her husband. man i am 23 and experiencing this for the first time and it is killing me.
Weird Posted October 26, 2004 Posted October 26, 2004 guys sounds like he was an a**h***. sorry things didnt work out and that you are hurting but realize he was not worth your time. never try to blame yourself for him being an a**h***.
Author Hope4me Posted October 26, 2004 Author Posted October 26, 2004 yah your right but man i really feel like i am going to fall into some deep depression over this. i am already feeling it and it's only been 1 day. i was totally in love with this person. man i probably won't be dating for a LONGGGG time.
Butchey Posted October 26, 2004 Posted October 26, 2004 I really feel bad for you. At least you didn't get married and then get hit with this. It would be more painful. His remarks to you are very insensitive and if he really believes what he said, he has more problems than you have. Keep believing that you will find someone who will look at you for who you are and not for what you have. The fact that your parents are missionaries tells me you grew up in a family that places value on spiritual things beyond what we can see. Use them as your strength and find someone you can trust to talk about this and everything in your life that matters to you. You will get better over time. It hurts now because it is very much like someone has died. You have to morn your loss.
Author Hope4me Posted October 26, 2004 Author Posted October 26, 2004 yah your very right. it's funny how it's so easy for me to tell people these same things to do when it's happening to them but this is like i am totally lost and man butchey i really appreciate what you said to me it really helped and everyone else. i really need encouragment and love right now.
jsapphire Posted October 27, 2004 Posted October 27, 2004 [color=indigo]I myself have relationship issues, but I would never put up with someone mentally abusing me! Due to his verbal abuse directed at you, you must typically suffer from critically low self-esteem and increasingly second guess yourself. You have to think more of yourself not to put up with that. I know it is easier said then done, but get a grip on the situation. A man that loves and respects you would not deliberately hurt your feelings. Most women have a complex about their weight regardless if they are thin or large. He should not resort to personal attacks. If he is not sure about the future, he should break it off in sufficient time and not string you along. Good luck on working this out. [/color]
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