winstonsdreams Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 I was casually seeing a girl for a few weeks, she initially flirted with me a lot and we hooked up a few times but never slept together. She seemed really interested initially but when i asked her out on a date she kind of freaked out and said she had been hurt in the past and that she wasn't ready for a relationship or some c***. So i took it at face value and took her out anyway and left it at that. I noticed if i didnt talk to her for a few days she ALWAYS would hit me up. We went out a few more times anyway and took it slow but the pressure was killing me and i had too much to drink on my birthday and kind of screwed it all up. She told me as much and i apologised and never expected to hear from her again, big deal you move on right? But she called me 2 weeks later after we had ceased all contact and asked why I had deleted her off Facebook and why i had not called or messaged her, i was pretty surprised to hear this but sure enough she added me on Facebook a couple days later and she has been flirting with me again. So i tried doing the same back and asked her out again today and flirted with her and sure enough she freaks out and says it's not a good idea blah blah blah and actually got really offended. This is really confusing me i gave her the option to exit my life forever but she is back doing my head in again and i don't know what the hell she wants, she says she wants to be friends but flirts and says she has surprises for me and suggestive things like that. We have close mutual friends but to hell with it i don't care if we are if someone confuses or hurts me i exit stage left. Anyway has anyone got any advice as to whether i should cease contact again this girl is crazy, what does she want?! she is 22 and acts like a child but obviously i like her, i liked her before all this stuff went down. I would not have minded had she not flirted with me again, maybe i am analysing it too much?
lissa90 Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 Have you considered being blunt and asking her what the deal is? If I was in your position I'd call her out on blowing hot and cold and ask her what exactly what it is that she wants.
MrCastle Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 Seems to me like she is a tease. Just using you to boost her ego. She is all flirty and friendly in text, and when it comes time to deliver in real life, she backs off. You may just be a text buddy.
salparadise Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 She just enjoys knowing that she's able to keep your attention focused on her. She likes being pursued, it feels good to her ego. She's immature and probably not able to have a satisfactory reciprocal relationship even if she wanted to––which she doesn't and has told you as much. Cutting her off completely is probably best because you're investing time and attention that could be used for someone who does want to date. Otherwise, play her little game better than she does by switching things up on her. But that's really a waste of time, imho.
ChatroomHero Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 You can always tell her you know she's been hurt before but she is going down the path of hurting you in the same way now. At the very least when she flirts and suggests things tell her to stop and you are not interested in flirting with someone who has made it clear nothing can come of it.
crude Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 It seems like the best option is simply to go for the sex. If she's teasing you, then it'll be a big NO, if she wants a FWB relationship, then you'll get laid (which is good), or if she playfully says no, you're just friends, then you'll know where you stand. Guessing is always an inefficient way to handle things.
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