Will I ever find someone else? A little down and needed to vent

[frostythesnowman]

So, I've recently been doing alright for the past week or two. If you don't know my backstory, my ex broke up with me a couple years ago and I put up with bs and breadcrumbs up until close to 50 days ago when I started NC. Haven't had too many strong urges to talk to her recently, but I'm not feeling very happy.

 

I really just want to find someone else. While yes, I did give in to her breadcrumbs for over a year, I truly believe that I never completely moved on because I just haven't found anyone else yet. This past year in college it's not like I wasn't looking for someone else, it's not like I was giving off some vibe that I was taken, it's not like I didn't go out and have fun with friends. It seems like all of my friends have ease in finding girls and starting flings but I don't. I am considered good looking, funny, smart, but I don't know what the problem is and it bothers me. Probably cause I'm just waiting for some perfect girl to come to me without effort, but I'm not going to be interested in someone I'm not attracted to physically and personality wise in the first place. It bothers me that my friend, coming straight out of a relationship, gets a fling with a girl right away and I've been out of a relationship for so long.

 

I'm young but I've just been thinking a lot recently about my past and future relationships and I've only had one girlfriend all my life, I'm a little worried that I'm never going to find someone who loves me as much as I loved my ex. Yeah it's dumb to worry about that now, but for some reason I just can't picture it happening as much as I want it

 

Maybe this wasn't the right place to post this in, I just needed to vent a little. After all of the **** I put up with with my ex, I feel like I deserve a decent girl to at least have a chance with.

[coffee]

Yes, you will find someone. You can't compare yourself to your friend because people are different. You seem to have higher standards, and that's good. Sometimes it takes longer when you have what you want in mind. You draw what you put out there. So you are looking for someone who you are attracted to physically and emotionally, and that will take time. If you want a quick fling, I'm sure you could step outside and find it right away. Good luck with your search!

[frostythesnowman]

Yes, you will find someone. You can't compare yourself to your friend because people are different. You seem to have higher standards, and that's good. Sometimes it takes longer when you have what you want in mind. You draw what you put out there. So you are looking for someone who you are attracted to physically and emotionally, and that will take time. If you want a quick fling, I'm sure you could step outside and find it right away. Good luck with your search!

 

Thanks for your response. It's just frustrating to see multiple friends find new relationships with ease and I'm still stuck in the same spot. I really do want to find someone else, and I know that it is what I need to give me that last little push to move on from my ex

[BC1980]

Everyone feels this way at some point. I feel this way at times. I'm 32, so I was ready to have a family and thought for sure I had found my future husband. Now, I honestly feel that I might never get married, and I'm trying to be okay with that. It's really hard after being so happy for 3 years.

 

I know it's hard after you have been happy and have made plans. You are forced to do a 180. I promise that everyone here has felt the way you do. It sucks, but it's life.

 

Also, make sure you aren't using a relationship as your key to happiness.

[frostythesnowman]

Everyone feels this way at some point. I feel this way at times. I'm 32, so I was ready to have a family and thought for sure I had found my future husband. Now, I honestly feel that I might never get married, and I'm trying to be okay with that. It's really hard after being so happy for 3 years.

 

I know it's hard after you have been happy and have made plans. You are forced to do a 180. I promise that everyone here has felt the way you do. It sucks, but it's life.

 

Also, make sure you aren't using a relationship as your key to happiness.

 

I'm sorry to hear that and I truly hope it works out for the both of us in the end. I've always thought that everything happens for a reason to some extent... It's good to think that every negative turn in life is a blessing.

 

As a guy I think my problem is that I have lost a lot of my self confidence and self esteem these past couple years from my breakup. I can't talk to girls as easily anymore and often feel shy and that I'm just not good enough, which I need to change if I want anything to change for the better. Easier said than done, but I'm hoping that every day I keep my ex out of my life I get a little bit of my confidence and self esteem back