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I'm missing something, but not her


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Crash course: Nasty breakup in April. I gave up contacting her in mid May. It is 63 days today, I think since I have made an attempt to contact her.

 

During the latter part of the week, the relationship and breakup kept coming back in my mind. Not to the extent of paralyzing and suffocating, but more of an annoyance and uneasiness.

 

I have made great strides in my healing but factored in for setbacks like this to happen, and I have made progress even through this past week.

 

What I figured out (in the past hour) was that I am not missing her. I am missing the awesomeness that a relationship has. I figured this out when I would say her name out loud, and it carried no more weight than the names of my close friends and even acquaintances I know.

 

When I figured this out, I realized that I had recently seen old friends who have are now married with families, many of them my age. Being around them and noticing how happy they were made me think of my ex and my relationship, and how I missed the times when we were all smiles and living life.

 

Summing it up, I am missing my relationship (or the good side of the relationship) with her, and not her these days. The next step is for me to use this information to process feelings that may come about as time goes on (and no communication between her and me happen). I have gained a new tool to use in my continued healing.

 

I hope everybody is staying strong and persevering. Here's to a great week!

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