How do you cope?

[OverThinker72]

Hello from London!!! I'm new to this but thought I would give it a go. I don't know anyone in person that is going through the same pain and confusion as me, although they have all experienced it at some point in their life.

 

I won't go into too much detail but my ex and I split up on Monday last week. He ended it, but I had ended the week before but we decided to give it another go that same night. It was a 7 month relationship, not long I know but we were friends for a while before that. To be honest he was the one who pursued it as in the beginning there was not attraction from my part but I slowly begun to fall in love with him. It was a warm loving relationship. Anyway he ended by saying that his feelings have changed and he does not want to be in a relationship with me or anyone right now. Ok, I can understand that and he is a good man, so even though I was very hurt I respected his wishes. Well my response to his apologetic long text was "Ok". I then deleted his messages, removed his phone number and got rid of every material memory I had of him. However last night I came home a little tipsy and checked his Facebook profile only to see him with his new girlfriend!!! We were never friends on Facebook because I never go on there. My heart sank and the pain was unbearable. I cried non stop today even though I was at a family BBQ and then I was in a pub celebrating my sister's birthday. The tears would not stop falling. I came home because I was spoiling everyones night.

 

I just need to know if the following has ever happened to you? I am now this very second completely numb. I mean I have no feelings at all. Is that normal? I'm just worried I will feel the intense pain all over again tomorrow. How do I move on from this?

 

Please share your experience with me if you like...I just need to know how others feel.

 

Thanks, Sammie x

[hellischrome]

I know it's hard - but did you think that it may be for the best? He didn't want to be with you - saying "I don't wanna be with others" was just probably a way to put it gently or not hurt you too much (in his head, of course). So, do you wanna be with someone who doesn't wanna stay with you? I don't think so. Because you would feel as if something was missing, and you don't deserve that. We choose our significant other, and we choose them according to how they make us feel. This is just the beginning so you will be sad as you will have a time for healing as everyone does. Just do things you like - you will think about this guy less and less!

[Xiphias92]

Hello from London!!! I'm new to this but thought I would give it a go. I don't know anyone in person that is going through the same pain and confusion as me, although they have all experienced it at some point in their life.

 

I won't go into too much detail but my ex and I split up on Monday last week. He ended it, but I had ended the week before but we decided to give it another go that same night. It was a 7 month relationship, not long I know but we were friends for a while before that. To be honest he was the one who pursued it as in the beginning there was not attraction from my part but I slowly begun to fall in love with him. It was a warm loving relationship. Anyway he ended by saying that his feelings have changed and he does not want to be in a relationship with me or anyone right now. Ok, I can understand that and he is a good man, so even though I was very hurt I respected his wishes. Well my response to his apologetic long text was "Ok". I then deleted his messages, removed his phone number and got rid of every material memory I had of him. However last night I came home a little tipsy and checked his Facebook profile only to see him with his new girlfriend!!! We were never friends on Facebook because I never go on there. My heart sank and the pain was unbearable. I cried non stop today even though I was at a family BBQ and then I was in a pub celebrating my sister's birthday. The tears would not stop falling. I came home because I was spoiling everyones night.

 

I just need to know if the following has ever happened to you? I am now this very second completely numb. I mean I have no feelings at all. Is that normal? I'm just worried I will feel the intense pain all over again tomorrow. How do I move on from this?

 

Please share your experience with me if you like...I just need to know how others feel.

 

Thanks, Sammie x

 

 

Welcome aboard OverThinker72!

 

Well I kinda went through something like you are going through, but mine was a wee bit more dramatic. In the end, I dodged a bullet - who knows how your life will play out after all this? I would say for the better.

 

You're numb at the moment; that's normal - it's shock. It varies on how long it lasts though, mine went up to three months after the breakup. But you get an awesome feeling when you're back on the saddle of life and continuing on. There's always sunshine after a storm.

 

In the meantime, stick to no contact. Try to keep yourself occupied and enjoy the things you do or even do things you haven't done before. You will heal but takes a good amount of time. Don't retaliate on him or his new girlfriend - it'll make you look bad and it doesn't make things better.