Ryan_B Posted July 21, 2013 Posted July 21, 2013 It's been nearly 5 months since my ex left me, we were together for 7 months only (the 31st of this month would have been a year together.). We were on holiday for valentines week and 3 days later she decided she wanted to be alone and so broke up with me. It felt like my world had ended. I still think of her everyday, and even though she wanted to stay as close friends, I decided it'd probably be best for me in the long run to go NC, so I haven't spoke, messaged or anything like that since the day she left me. We used to play a certain video game together, I had and still haven't played it ever without her, it was one of ''our things''. Tonight, though, I have been really bored and so decided to give the game a go. But as soon as I turned it on, I broke down in tears, and can't stop myself now, even while writing this. I'm determined to not give up playing it, as I see it as if I do, I'm letting her stop me doing things that I want to do, but at the same time, it's really hurting. I can't believe I'm still like this now, 5 months after the relationship ended (she was my first ever partner and love though). Is this normal, or should I be well and truly beyond this point by now? Thank you in advance for any replies
steveT95 Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 This is normal. There is absolutely nothing wrong with how you're feeling. But possibly something wrong with how you are dealing with it. First off, you aren't ready to be able to play this game. She isn't stopping you from enjoying it, but for now it is too soon. I was the same with a TV series (Dexter) I wanted to watch the first season again, really badly. But there was no hope in hell that I could bring myself to watch it. The last time I watched it was when I first met her. I couldn't play a videogame either because I had really distinct memories of texting her whilst playing it. I have now watched the TV series and played the game, because I gave it time and tried to change the association (this may be harder to do in your case because of the close link.) Today I moved some stuff around and found an old game that I was playing back in september, when I first met her and a time when I was happiest. It felt horrible seeing that game again and I felt very weak. Just know, you are not alone in these feelings. Now about the emotions. Cry. Let it out, cry until you are exhausted and fall to sleep. Get as much sleep as possible until you are completely refreshed. Then have a good wash and do something active with your day. This should make you feel better, even if it is just a little bit. I don't know the full story and I don't know how you feel about the break up. Are you mad? Confused? Lonely? Really try to pinpoint each emotion. Anger may be the top emotion but that could be caused by sadness at the loss. It is important to process each emotion you. Angry? Scream and shout and kick something. Beat the crap out of whatever you like. Sad? Cry. But don't wallow in it. Allow yourself time each day to go through the emotions. Just half an hour or an hour. After that time, just keep yourself busy. Lastly, I highly recommend a counsellor. There is no shame in talking to someone about it, I had two and it helped a lot. Sorry for such a long message, but I think I understand how you are feeling. Good luck! 1
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