Vividreamer Posted July 21, 2013 Posted July 21, 2013 Well this is my first post on this website. I have been going through a lot of emotions lately and did a google search for some things and it brought me here. My ex left me back in October of last year. It was a pretty bad breakup. She slept with a close friend a week after, I found out she had to of cheated on me because I found out I tested positive for chlamydia a month after the breakup. We were together for 3 years and lived together. Went through some really hard times together. Her dad dying, 3 of my family members passing as well. Me losing my job and our house. All of this happening within a span of 2 years. The guy she slept with, I was on the phone with all that week. Him trying to tell me things to tell her and show her how I didn't want the breakup and how much I loved her. Even the day that she slept with him I was on the phone earlier that day. I went through a really bad bout of depression, and went to a Psychologist, and a Psychiatrist. Was put on meds, But couldn't afford the Psychiatrist anymore so I had to stop taking the meds. I just can't seem to get past this crap. I know I am better off, but I really loved the girl. Some of my female friends hang out with her now, and I see them post pics of them with her. I had to delete most of the friends off facebook because I can't look at her ya know? Eh, does this ever get better? damn.
Philosoraptor Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 Seems like your focus is way too concentrated on her and the past, versus you and the future. What have you done for you? Joined a new club? Found some new hobbies? Made some new friends? It gets better when you take your focus totally off her and the negative stuff that happened (it's not happening anymore so don't let it control you), and put that focus on self growth and your own happiness.
Author Vividreamer Posted July 22, 2013 Author Posted July 22, 2013 Actually, I signed up for school. That has helped me move on some, but things still linger on. This is going to sound bad, But I had a dream the other night... And in my dream, that one song by Peter Gabriel-the book of love was playing. When I woke up I found myself in tears, uncontrollable tears that have happened often. I know I am still hung up on some of the things in the past. Mostly bad, but I do see some of the good. I guess I am just at the point of trying to cope. I would never take her back if I had the chance. But I do miss the good times.
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