My mother-in-law wants to talk to me tonight. I am terrified ! !

[Guinevere04]

My parents have known every bump in the road that we have had since the trouble started. I am just a talker I guess. My H thinks you shouldn't tell anyone anything. Result: He told his dad on the phone Sunday night that I wanted a divorce, no details and they feel like the world has been jerked out from under them. My parents aren't happy but they aren't devastated either.

 

His mom called me crying and wants to meet with me tonight. They think that we should work it out and I should tough it out and try harder. Been there people, done that, you just missed it all because your son wanted to come off as Ozzy and Harriet.

 

I love his whole family and they are one of the reasons that I have waited so long. Just one of the stages I had to go through accepting that they wouldn't be in my life like they had. They haven't had a chance to go through any of those stages because he didn't want to tell them anything. Now it seems like I am giving up over one weekend.

 

I need strength to deal with tonight. I know she won't understand because she doesn't know everything. His sister emailed me yesterday saying, how can you throw in the towel and not try harder for your 2 year old's family life. I have been trying and looking over the things her brother has done for the last year and 1/2 and it has gotten me no where. Now that he is finally willing to try, why should I give him the opportunity when my heart is not in it? I have been with him 7 1/2 years and I can only find a way to remember the bad times.

 

I am going to print the email that I sent his sister and show his mom tonight. It explains everything because it took me 4 hours to write.

 

I am just very nervous about her being unwilling to accept what is happening. I know that regardless of what I say, it will always be my fault in their eyes. I am not perfect but I have tried all I am willing to try.

[Stone]

Wow sounds like he has a pretty strong faimly, Please try to remain freinds with these people for your childs sake. Have you tried counseling? Does he still want to try?

[Guinevere04]

We have been in counseling for 10 months. This is his second marriage so I think his family is just scarred from the first time. I am not going to be as hurtful as the first one was. At least I am easy to get along with compared to that demon. They are just trying to save him 2 failed marriages. But from what they say, it sounds more like they don't want to be hurt.

[lostgirl26]

I feel like I am in the very same situation, however I don't think his family(my husband) will be that understanding. My husband also believes intelling no one. I cannot talk to them or trust his sisters to hold back any info so they no idea what has happened between us in the last 5 yrs we have been married. In other cases they make no effort either and that I can understand too, its not there business to know. I feel though that if and when I say the "D" word that they will be very upset with me and take his side because their are his family. I shouldn't worry about what they say because they will say what they want regardless, but I have never given them a reason to discount me on anything. In fact they may even get upset at him more for not being a better husband. In any case though, I would stay friendly for your childs sake(we have no children, thank god) and I perosnally don't think you owe them any explanation. You just say "I have done the best that I can, its unfortunate that it has come to this but thats the way it has to be." You owe them nothing else. You were not married to them.

[Guinevere04]

I do think that I have done the best that I could. Now the feelings are there and there is even less to work with. If they can't accept it, I really can't do a lot about it. I am not going to withhold my son from them and otherwise, they really won't be effected that much other than their son won't be married. They didn't spend a lot of time with me anyway.

 

My parents just know so much because I spilled my guts about 3 or 4 months ago. I led on that things were rocky as things happened, but I didn't run and tell them everything. Then when I started getting heavy doubts, I had to back them up with facts.

[Stone]

Well when you meet with her tongith assure her that you still want there to be a relationship with the child and the father as well as her as a grandmother, Talk about your child only, don't get into the ugly part of the realtionship. It isn't her place to save your marriage, but she is probably consirned for here grandbaby!