averis Posted October 26, 2004 Posted October 26, 2004 Bit long but please read and advise. I'll try and make this complicated situation a lot easier, i could go on for hours, but i really need some help and advice! I was seeing a girl for 1 year 9 months. we started seeing each other on new years eve 2002 got a house may 2003 and got engaged christmas day last year, we started out great, to be honest i didnt fancy her but it was one of those that the more i spent with her the closer we got! She was originally seeing 1 of my mates, and fancied me but stayed with him till i finished with my ex, then a few weeks later we got together. she also had a child by another man before we got together which i raised as my own. She was the best girlfriend you could ever imagine we had so much in common,she was loving, honest, loyal, and i thought she was the one! Then the rows started, we'd argue for a while and then be fine, unfortunately the rows got worse,and we'd start smashing up the house instaed of each other while the whole time the baby could see what was going on,anyway they got worse until it litterally turned to physical violence and wed have full blown punchups still infront of the baby( who by this time would be hysterical) we finally got to the stage were we had broken up and moved back in 7 times! Then 2 months ago we had an almighty fight and it ended in violence i wanted out and she wouldnt let me she was hanging on my legs so i didnt think and kicked out and caught her in the stomach she fell back and banged her back on the stairs, i left then coz i just couldnt handle it! anyways her father and mother turned up and she was on the floor (looks bad) and i knew it was over but she didnt! She came back that night but before then i thought about jacking it all in and told my mother i didnt like going home to her it felt like i was walking on egg shells, anyways she came back that night but i was over my folks house,and the next day she came to get her stuff,she didnt wanna split with me and i didnt wanna know, so a few weeks went by, then i went to see her on my birthday 23rd sept (thurs) and she told me that if we try it again it was the last time, so i said we'd do something on the sat but unfortunately i was rushed into hospital on the sat morn i told her but said dont worry about coming down coz my folks are there (so she wouldnt feel bad) but she took it the wrong way. Anyway when i was in hospital i evaluated a few things and realised that it was her i wanted so when i came home i rang her but she didnt wanna know, so this went on for a while and i went to see her two weeks ago and she told me shes with someone else she said she didnt love him and had only gone out in the car and kissed him a few times, i felt like my world had ended, i went to see her a couple of days later to persuade her and ive rang and begged, written letters done everything but nothings changed! I emailed her last week but she phoned me up and said when you kicked me that was it (I genuinely didnt mean it) although she used to beat me all the time! and i was not to mail her which i havent since, (last wed) i told her to ring me but she didnt know and then didnt, So ive had NC since last wed, but she says treat em mean keep em keen dont work with her, so should i fight or accept in acouple of weeks she forgot about me and moved on! Shes back with her folks in anew village with no ties to me, while im sitting in our house lonely reminded by everything, im worried if i dont nag her she'll just settle with him and make do, i thought we were soulmates! i think she met him when i was in hosp but i dont know, will she 100% ring if i dont call her, or has she accepted its over and moved on, (how so quick?) we lost a baby and been through so much, I love her dearly, please help me, she seems not to know what she wants but the longer i leave it the more she'll stay with him! please reply!
Jilly10340 Posted October 26, 2004 Posted October 26, 2004 If you have no contact and she continues to stay with him, then that's just how it is. Hanging around and begging for her back isn't going to take her away from this guy if that's where she wants to be. Maybe just give her time and let her be with this guy, and accept that if he's what she wants then that's who she should be with. She may realize after being with him that you're who she wants. That's what's happened with me a couple of time in regards to some guy. If she wants to be with you, there's nothing that will keep her away. Her heart will decide and lead her to where she wants to be. You can't force it.
Recommended Posts