Redhead91 Posted July 21, 2013 Posted July 21, 2013 Over a year ago I broke up with my boyfriend because I moved. Even though he was the one who broke up with me he begged me to stay friends with him. I went NC for two weeks after the break up and that I went NC for two weeks was because I didn’t want to show him that it affected me more than it did. He called me sugar, babe and honey even though I told him to stop because he wanted to be friends with me and that I didn’t like it when he called me that anymore. He kept telling me that he miss me, that I am important to him and he wants me to be in his life even though we were far away from each other. We talked almost every other day. In the end my fake smile faded away. I am a person who hates telling people how I feel. Therefor I just cut him off from my life but he messaged me and I told him why, and it was fine. I resumed contact with him because I managed to distance myself from him and I thought that everything was fine. He started to talk to me the same way he did and even commented on my pictures that I posted on Facebook that I was beautiful. I wouldn't had any problem talking to him if it was because of this girl who I know is an old friend and from the same town as he is, and I am assuming his girlfriend now. I have checked her Facebook before I removed my ex from FB because I was a bit curious of the girl that comments and likes everything he posts. Her profile weren't open but after I added him back she made her profile open. I could see stuff that he had liked on her profile popping up in my news feed. I was told that he talks about me to people he knows even after we broke up. I don’t if he have told her about me. I don’t know if she is his girlfriend and I know as an ex shouldn't say anything, but I feel like she doing everything on purpose just to push me away. I am not even a threat to her. It wasn't like I was the one who started to talk and I wasn't begging him to take me back. I will never ever beg a guy to be with me. I didn't even like stuff he posted except a song he posted and some pictures. In the end I cut all contact with my ex for real this time. I didn't tell him anything again, he got really angry. He sent me email the next the in the morning because I had blocked him on Skype, Facebook and Whatsapp. He said f*** you and you behave like a little spoiled girl. I got angry at him and told that he is playing with me and that he have lied to me so many times that I lost count. I also told him that enough is enough. Both of us calmed down and I decided to put all of the cards on the table and tell him how I feel. After we were done talking he told me this: When the day comes that we can be friends I expect you to be a part of my life again. I do not regret cutting contact with him. I feel like I am finally happy and not fake happy. I am smiling more but I feel like I am being paranoid because I feel like this girl knows how I am and is behaving the way she does. Am I being paranoid for no reason? I checked his Facebook one time and to my surprise he opened his Facebook the day after everything happened. I guess it bothers him a bit that he for once didn't get his way. It has been a month now and I have never been in NC before, except those two weeks. I don’t know if I can call it NC. I am 22 and this was my first real boyfriend. My ex and this girl are 4 years older than me. I am also wondering how long do people stay in NC for after resuming contact with their ex? I am sorry that I come across childish and I am so sorry that it ended up being so long.
Chris715 Posted July 21, 2013 Posted July 21, 2013 Why do you wanna resume contact with your Ex ? Do you really have to ask that question? A lot of people on here still having feelings for their ex and want them in their life, even if it's not the best thing for them... Exactly what I'm going through too. 1
Sneaky Posted July 21, 2013 Posted July 21, 2013 I read your story and it seems to me that this person is very self centered. He should have left you alone after the breakup to deal with this and not demanded you cater to his need of having a friend right after breaking your heart. I'm not the best person to hand out advice but NC includes things like checking out his facebook. You cut this person out of your life entirely and focus on other things no matter how much it hurts. I had to avoid social media all together for a long while because I did not trust myself to stay away from my ex's page. But you should not feel bad about this, he risked you not being a part of his life when he broke your heart, he should be able to deal with the consequence. This is about you now and doing whatever it takes to move on. 1
Author Redhead91 Posted July 22, 2013 Author Posted July 22, 2013 I read your story and it seems to me that this person is very self centered. He should have left you alone after the breakup to deal with this and not demanded you cater to his need of having a friend right after breaking your heart. I'm not the best person to hand out advice but NC includes things like checking out his facebook. You cut this person out of your life entirely and focus on other things no matter how much it hurts. I had to avoid social media all together for a long while because I did not trust myself to stay away from my ex's page. But you should not feel bad about this, he risked you not being a part of his life when he broke your heart, he should be able to deal with the consequence. This is about you now and doing whatever it takes to move on. Thank you! I felt immature about how I handle everything but now I don't feel like that anymore. I've learned from this and I can only learn from my mistakes. I just wished that he wouldn't had made his Facebook public then I wouldn't had been tempted to check it. I am going not to check his Facebook because I simply don't care anymore.
Author Redhead91 Posted July 22, 2013 Author Posted July 22, 2013 Do you really have to ask that question? A lot of people on here still having feelings for their ex and want them in their life, even if it's not the best thing for them... Exactly what I'm going through too. I am so glad that I am not alone. I get the question a lot and I can't explain it to people because people won't understand and I am getting tired of explaining it over and over. Thank you for understanding!
Chris715 Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 I am so glad that I am not alone. I get the question a lot and I can't explain it to people because people won't understand and I am getting tired of explaining it over and over. Thank you for understanding! Yeah definitely And again I understand because I'm going through this exact situation. My ex has knowingly and unknowingly caused nothing but havoc, sadness, and pain in my life lately and I fully acknowledge that avoiding contact is the best thing for me... But with all of my feelings for her still it's been hard to do.
AllTooWell Posted July 25, 2013 Posted July 25, 2013 Do you really have to ask that question? A lot of people on here still having feelings for their ex and want them in their life, even if it's not the best thing for them... Exactly what I'm going through too. Yeah, he does have to ask it. Because a lot of people convince themselves they want to resume contact "to be friends" or "to catch up" which is a completely false pretense. So sometimes, realizing what your true intentions are - you want them back - is an important step into realizing why you should NOT contact them.
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