Aslanbek Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 I am not sure if this is the right forum, but anyway................... I am almost 50 and believe that very soon I will be divorced. My wife of 25 years and I have not had sex in years, and I am very much angry and depressed by the lack of intimacy in my life. As a young man I did not date and had never had a girlfriend before meeting my wife; indeed, I do not believe that I was ready to be married then but did so chiefly because I was afraid I would not find anyone else and be alone forever. So now I find myself reluctantly about to enter the dating world as a person who is very much behind the 8 ball socially. I don’t really know what to do in order to get a woman interested in me, and I never learned the social cues or skills needed to find a sexual or relationship partner. I was not attractive to women as a young man, so I am pretty sure there isn’t anyone out there who would find me attractive now. I am very fearful of being alone and do not want to live the rest of my life without companionship. Being unable to find someone as a teenager and college student was extremely discouraging and depressing, and I don’t want to live the rest of my life that way. I had been able to find many female friends when I was young, but not one was interested in me romantically or sexually. How can an “older” single man find his way in the dating world of 2013? Link to post Share on other sites
Tinie Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 Try OLD? 10 characters. Link to post Share on other sites
ChessPieceFace Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 Money. 10chars Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 (edited) I'm sorry you are going through this. Lots of people feel this way after a primary relationship ends... no matter what the cause. This video has helped me a lot. You might find volunteer work to be helpful as well... both for meeting new people and for putting things into perspective. After my divorce, I volunteered at the local botanical gardens to ease the pain of losing my gardening partner (my spouse)... and also at a senior center... where I saw some who had many children (I have no children) who failed to even visit them. You can find some solace in helping others face their loneliness as well. I did. Whatever struggles you are having with the opposite sex, much can be managed by learning better social skills and developing intimacy in natural ways. I think you will also find that the things that made people attractive or unattractive before you were married are simply not relevant to those approaching middle age... and that you have learned much during your marriage that will make you more attractive now than ever. Edited July 21, 2013 by RedRobin Link to post Share on other sites
Author Aslanbek Posted July 23, 2013 Author Share Posted July 23, 2013 Try OLD? 10 characters. If most of what the women have to go by is my pictures, I'm in trouble. I'd probably get no interest, just as in real life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Aslanbek Posted July 23, 2013 Author Share Posted July 23, 2013 I'm sorry you are going through this. Lots of people feel this way after a primary relationship ends... no matter what the cause. This video has helped me a lot. You might find volunteer work to be helpful as well... both for meeting new people and for putting things into perspective. After my divorce, I volunteered at the local botanical gardens to ease the pain of losing my gardening partner (my spouse)... and also at a senior center... where I saw some who had many children (I have no children) who failed to even visit them. You can find some solace in helping others face their loneliness as well. I did. Whatever struggles you are having with the opposite sex, much can be managed by learning better social skills and developing intimacy in natural ways. I think you will also find that the things that made people attractive or unattractive before you were married are simply not relevant to those approaching middle age... and that you have learned much during your marriage that will make you more attractive now than ever. Thanks for the kind words.........could you elaborate on the last paragraph, please? Link to post Share on other sites
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