Starnette83 Posted October 26, 2004 Posted October 26, 2004 Ok this is the thing..i love my bf and i want to one day marry him, but am i wasting my time? I met my bf when i was 17 and he was 16, both of us were virgins, i was watinig to have sex witht he right guy, turnes out he was the right guy, or so it felt like it still am glad i lost it to him!!! Anyways it was instant attraction, we could talk for hours, we were physically attracted and we just clicked-maybe cuz we are opposites, hes a Gemini and im a cancer...basically hes a leader , im more a follower ;-}~ Anyways im now 21, and hes 20...so far 3 years and 11 months toghet....4 years on Dec. Well we have had GREAT HAPPY TIMES, and HORRIBLE YUKKY times which have led to breakups.... We have broken up but always tend to get back... Anyways i love him and i feel that he loves me to but theres this obstacles.. 1. we are young 2. we are eachother first love, only sexual partner, and only serious relationship ( i had a b/f before him but nothing serious, i was his first gf, he had only kissed one girl before me) Anyways is there any hope for us??? Everytime i bring up marriage he sais "im not thinking of that now, that is FAR FAR away from now" this makes me wanna cry, i know thats retarded, i love him and i just wonder if he ever sees himself married to me... I think that after 4 years he should feel comfty talking about it, yet im also trying to be understanding and see how young he is and unexperienced..but so am i and i can still see myself with him in the future!! I mean i dont want to marry him now, but i would atleast like it if he considers marrying me in the future when im like 25 or something like that... I dunno sometimes i wonder if i should just let go..... or stick with this relationship even if i dont know if he will ever wanna marry me, any advice??
hulavie Posted October 26, 2004 Posted October 26, 2004 One thing for sure, neither one of you can tell what your future will hold. Many people here at LS can testify to marrying their first loves for sure. One thing I dare say is that guys don't like to be pushed into marriage. No one does for that matter. Give it time, you are still very young. If both of you mutually enjoy your relationship, marriage will come. Good luck.
sssss Posted October 27, 2004 Posted October 27, 2004 If you're going to be together forever then what's the rush? If you've got all the time in the world then why do you need to know now? Is it because you want to know you're not wasting your time? You should probably know that by now. You're 20, I would have never thought of marriage at that age and I had been with my boyfriend for three years at that stage. We knew we'd get married at SOME stage so we just put it out of our heads and lived the way teenagers do, dating, going out with our friends, going to university, having fun!! Are you feeling insecure in your relationship? Do you feel him slipping away from you? I'm just wondering why you're so keen to establish that he won't be going anywhere ever. Doesn't he make you feel safe in the relationship?
JoL Posted October 27, 2004 Posted October 27, 2004 Judging from his reaction and how young you were when you got together i'd say the chance of you having smooth sailing from now till marriage is unlikely. not saying impossible! just a rough road.. The reason i think that is based on experience..what i've seen with 99% of couples that meet whilst young. These relationships rarely run smoothy, most of the time they end after a few years OR the couple do date other people before settling down with eachother. perhaps your boyfriend loves you but feels he hasnt experienced enough? 20 is very young for most guys to consider marriage. On the other hand, he may surprise you one day out of the blue and start talking about marriage as well. You are very young and eachothers first and only relationships- for this reason im tempted to say its going to be very tough to fight feelings of "missing out" or feeling like you settled down too young, so if your bf refuses to commit to discussing marriage now, he may just feel like he cant commit to you at this point- for the future.
Author Starnette83 Posted October 28, 2004 Author Posted October 28, 2004 thanks for the advice, well i guess im just scared to losing him...i feel like we both love eachother alot but our inexperience is a big time obstacle because i know when we are older...we have nothing to look back at but just us, and thats kinda weird...and i dont want to him to ever be curious as "Hmm i wonder what it would have been to have sex with soemone besides jackie" Plus i guess part of it is that i think that the only way u really love someone is when u have beenw ithout them, dated others and stilll crave that one person. Hmm maybe im just crazy, but i just dont want my bf to regret anything or miss out on anything, i love him alot and if hes with me and im with him, i want it to be right, that we both know that we are together cuz we love eachother and no one else makes us feel the way we feel when we are together... even though it disgusts me to think of him with another girl, i know it would kill me, but if i knew that he would want me after her and realize he doesnt want that girl or no other girl, cuz its me he wants, i think then id feel that i actually believe that our relationship is meant.. i guess my age adn lack of both of our experience just makes me really insecure...i love him though and i do hope hes the guy i one day marry , but i also ho[pe that if we get married that our marriage is happy and full of trust and respect... anyways 4 years on dec. hasnt been easy,..but somehow we have made it this far, that should show something good right?
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