The Grass is Greener Syndrome

[ktcp2]

Hi guys! I'm new to this so I'm sorry in advance if I am not using this correctly. I wanted to ask some of you about the "Grass is Greener Syndrome". This is the first time I have heard of it. Does this syndrome apply to my situation? Here is my story.

 

I met him in the summer of 2011, and it was an instant connection. We had wonderful times together and I was the happiest I had ever been. He was wonderful to me, more wonderful than any other man I have ever been with. He seemed genuine with his feelings for me as well. He initiated conversations about marriage, babies, and even me moving to be with him (we lived about 2 hours away from each other and only saw each other on the weekends). Everything was fine between us and then out of nowhere with no indication, he was distant and cold with me. He said he didn't know if he could do this anymore and didn't know if it was going to work out between us. I couldn't wrap my mind around what had just happened. I was shocked and confused. He said he loved me and that it was the distance. Something in my gut, told me that wasn't it so I asked if there was another girl. There was. A girl he had started talking to at the gym I was devastated to say the least but learning from my past relationship, I let him go. I found out he started dating that girl only weeks after our breakup. I let him be. I never once initiated contact with him. At first, he continued to text me...weekly, then biweekly, then monthly. I would respond but was very short with him. After 5 months, I needed to contact him regarding my car. He responded to me regarding the car and then to my surprise he asked me to lunch. At this point, him and his girlfriend had broken up (although he never knew I knew about his relationship). We met for lunch and discussed everything. He apologized and let me know he made the biggest mistake by letting me go. We got back together. I gave him another chance, and he seemed to have proved he had changed and really wanted to be with me and have a future with me. We even had plans of me moving there (applied for jobs and looked for houses, all of which were his idea.) We spent last weekend together and it couldn't have been more perfect. I came home Monday morning with his usual i love you texts and how he had such a wonderful weekend with me. Tuesday morning he dropped the bomb about his feelings of fear about me moving there, us going to fast, and he didn't know if he was ready for a serious relationship. Again I was devastated. Of course, I asked again if there was another girl, and he swore up and down, there wasn't. He continued to tell me he loved me and went back and forth with us staying together. For 2 days, i struggled to understand where it was coming from again. I asked one more time, if there was another girl and he finally confessed. A girl from his past had contacted him 2 weeks ago. He still continues to say that she has nothing to do with why he wants the relationship to end. So here I am once again, I let him go. I've made no contact with him and will let him be. Anyways, he came back once and then did it again, does the syndrome apply to this situation?

 

Thanks for any help you can provide and thanks for listening.

 

ktcp2

[LittleDragon456]

I think this is just how this guy is. My past relationships were similar. y ex claimed he had a hard time with the long distance, but he was really two-timing me. I think it's good how you gradually dropped contact with him. I wish I was that strong. You haven't done anything wrong, and you seem like a nice woman. Do your own thing, focus on yourself, your goals, your wants, your needs. This guy is a jerk, just like many. You deserve something so much more. Distance was never his problem, commitment is.