Tk123 Posted July 21, 2013 Posted July 21, 2013 Hey there! This past week I've been up and down with this girl I'm supposed to hang out with, and need some thoughts on my current situation. Me and this girl have been going back and forth all week and I don't know how I should feel. Here is a little summary of the past week: Sunday- Go to say hello to the neighbors in the new neighborhood I'm moving to. While I'm there a girl my age comes outside and introduces herself to me, nothing goes much further than a hello and goodbye because I had to be somewhere else. Monday- I decide to take a risk and add her on Facebook, she accepts and I start a convo with her during the day. Everything seems to be going fine. Tuesday- Message her on Facebook again and we get talking, I give her my number and tell her to call or text me sometime. Wednesday-She texts me with her number and we start talking again. I've felt like I warmed her up enough at this point and decide to arrange a date to hang out. The date is set for sometime Saturday. Thursday- Not much goes on on this day. I give her some space as I do not want to come across as clingy. Maybe a "good morning, have a nice day" text was sent but that's it. Friday- Again not much goes on this day. I confirm our plans to hangout and she agrees that we're still on. We keep going back and for and then THE KEY HERE: She says in one of her texts "I am super excited to get to know more about you" and follows that up with a number of exclamation marks and smileys Saturday (TODAY)- The day of the hang out. She was supposed to text me when she was ready to hang out. Noon comes around and I still don't hear from her. I initiate contact AGAIN after initiating contact all week with her. I ask her if we're still on and she asks me if we can hang another day, particularly tomorrow (Sunday). She doesn't give me any reason why and just asks to reschedule. I told her I may have some relatives over tomorrow and may not be able to hang out, I told her she is more than welcome to come over to my place where my relatives are coming and that she can have lunch and/or dinner with us. I told her there is still a chance we can hang in the morning before my family comes over. I see she has read the message and has not replied ever since. (This was a little after noon). I am clueless now as to what's going on tomorrow. What am I to do and how am I to feel about this current situation? Is she not into me? Is she just nervous? Is it something else? Do I call her out on it? I have so many questions and have no idea what the answers are. I doubt I'll hear from her at all tonight and I'll be the one to initiate contact YET AGAIN tomorrow if I even make the attempt to. How should I feel about this situation?
MrCastle Posted July 21, 2013 Posted July 21, 2013 Stop initiating contact and see if she comes to you. If not, move on. 1
Author Tk123 Posted July 21, 2013 Author Posted July 21, 2013 Stop initiating contact and see if she comes to you. If not, move on. If I don't hear from her after a couple of days, should I call her out on it? To be fair she seemed interested less than 24 hours ago saying she couldn't wait to see me and was very excited about it.
SammySammy Posted July 21, 2013 Posted July 21, 2013 If I don't hear from her after a couple of days, should I call her out on it? To be fair she seemed interested less than 24 hours ago saying she couldn't wait to see me and was very excited about it. How would calling her out help?
MrCastle Posted July 21, 2013 Posted July 21, 2013 If I don't hear from her after a couple of days, should I call her out on it? To be fair she seemed interested less than 24 hours ago saying she couldn't wait to see me and was very excited about it. You know, in my experience, it depends on what your goal is. What your end game is. Are you mad to the point that you want to burn a bridge? I'll be honest. It feels good. It feels real good. Telling someone exactly how you feel about them, holding nothing back. I do this when I have absolutely had it with someone and feel that, if maybe I hold a mirror to their face, the next person they date will benefit. Maybe, just maybe, what I say will resonate with them. Or is your goal to try to date this girl? If so, say nothing and play it cool. Let her come around. If she comes around, go right back to where you were as if nothing happened and ask her out on another date. If she doesn't come back, she was never really interested in the first place. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 21, 2013 Posted July 21, 2013 You know, in my experience, it depends on what your goal is. What your end game is. Are you mad to the point that you want to burn a bridge? I'll be honest. It feels good. It feels real good. Telling someone exactly how you feel about them, holding nothing back. I do this when I have absolutely had it with someone and feel that, if maybe I hold a mirror to their face, the next person they date will benefit. Maybe, just maybe, what I say will resonate with them. Or is your goal to try to date this girl? If so, say nothing and play it cool. Let her come around. If she comes around, go right back to where you were as if nothing happened and ask her out on another date. If she doesn't come back, she was never really interested in the first place. This is a bit too extreme. Your choices are not to be completely cool or burn the bridge. You can say what's bothering you without going in the full on torch mode. You shouldn't bottle up that you are upset either. In the OP situation, there doesn't seem to be enough investment to save anything. It seems that the girl has already moved on.
MrCastle Posted July 21, 2013 Posted July 21, 2013 This is a bit too extreme. Your choices are not to be completely cool or burn the bridge. You can say what's bothering you without going in the full on torch mode. You shouldn't bottle up that you are upset either. In the OP situation, there doesn't seem to be enough investment to save anything. It seems that the girl has already moved on. Yeah I should have mentioned the bridge burning is more for when there is actually history involved. I'm tipsy from going out drinking tonight but I meant, when someone has a history of mistreating you, I see no issue in burning the bridge when you know there is no hope of you ever dating. In his case, if he plays it cool, the door is still open.
clia Posted July 21, 2013 Posted July 21, 2013 Wednesday-She texts me with her number and we start talking again. I've felt like I warmed her up enough at this point and decide to arrange a date to hang out. The date is set for sometime Saturday. Did you ask her on a date or to hang out? A date set for "sometime Saturday" is incredibly vague. In the future, nail it down more specifically. It just feels casual and unimportant when the plans are so up in the air. Saturday (TODAY)- The day of the hang out. She was supposed to text me when she was ready to hang out. Noon comes around and I still don't hear from her. I initiate contact AGAIN after initiating contact all week with her. I ask her if we're still on and she asks me if we can hang another day, particularly tomorrow (Sunday). Again, why no timeframe decided in advance? If I had a guy who apparently had no particular plan or time, and just wanted to hang out, I'd be more likely to reschedule if something better came up. It sounds like this may be what happened. She doesn't give me any reason why and just asks to reschedule. I told her I may have some relatives over tomorrow and may not be able to hang out, I told her she is more than welcome to come over to my place where my relatives are coming and that she can have lunch and/or dinner with us. I told her there is still a chance we can hang in the morning before my family comes over. On a first date? This is way too much for a first date. Meeting your family and relatives and she doesn't even know you? Eek. I hope you didn't scare her off. As of now, you have no plans with her. I think at this point you should see if she gets in touch with you. If not, and if you still really want to see her, contact her on Tuesday or Wednesday and ask her out on an actual date with a place, time, and activity for Friday or Saturday.
Author Tk123 Posted July 21, 2013 Author Posted July 21, 2013 How would calling her out help? How would it not? If I just said very casually "Hey is everything alright? I missed you this weekend" Something along those lines is that coming across as to harsh? This is a bit too extreme. Your choices are not to be completely cool or burn the bridge. You can say what's bothering you without going in the full on torch mode. You shouldn't bottle up that you are upset either. In the OP situation, there doesn't seem to be enough investment to save anything. It seems that the girl has already moved on. What I don't understand is how a woman can go from extremely excited to completely not interested in 24 hours? It's not like we had a conversation after that as I thought our plans were set. Did you ask her on a date or to hang out? A date set for "sometime Saturday" is incredibly vague. In the future, nail it down more specifically. It just feels casual and unimportant when the plans are so up in the air. I asked her to hang out. I didn't want to put too much pressure on her and I only had about 5-10 minutes to meet her. I was going to give off those romantic vibes if we did hang out, but I did not say straight out "let's go on a date". Again, why no timeframe decided in advance? If I had a guy who apparently had no particular plan or time, and just wanted to hang out, I'd be more likely to reschedule if something better came up. It sounds like this may be what happened. I asked her on Friday "Hey are we still on for this weekend?" Her response was yes, as long as she didn't have to help her parents with something. On a first date? This is way too much for a first date. Meeting your family and relatives and she doesn't even know you? Eek. I hope you didn't scare her off. As of now, you have no plans with her. I think at this point you should see if she gets in touch with you. If not, and if you still really want to see her, contact her on Tuesday or Wednesday and ask her out on an actual date with a place, time, and activity for Friday or Saturday. I'm sorry for not being clearer. A couple of weeks before I even met her, my family went to a BBQ and met this girl. She spent almost the whole evening speaking with them and I know I came up in the conversations. She has already told me how much she loves my parents and I don't think extending an invitation to dinner would scare her off. What still isn't making sense to me is how in a 24 hour period a girl can go from very interested, to cancelling plans and asking to reschedule, and then not giving a time to meet on the rescheduled date?? I've talked to a number of close friends that are women and they are telling me that maybe she is just nervous. I don't know what to think anymore. I'm going to let things play out, I'm not going to contact her unless I hear from her. I'm still a bit lost on the whole situation as it still doesn't make complete sense to me.
Author Tk123 Posted July 21, 2013 Author Posted July 21, 2013 Finally heard from her today, she was very apologetic and wanted to know if we could reschedule for next weekend. I told her yes, but am worried that she'll have another excuse for not meeting up next weekend. Now I don't know how to go about this week in terms of contact with her. Do I stay in touch with her if we still have plans for next weekend? Do I initiate the contact everyday or wait for her to contact me throughout the week?
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