Bellavia Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 (edited) My best friend started dating a girl about 2 years ago (2 years after we became friends), and it drove a wedge between us. I had feelings for her she didn't know about, and the new girlfriend hated me and managed to manipulate me out of my best friend's life. We went back and forth for about a year trying to be friends, but it always failed because the girlfriend would never support it. Eventually, they moved in together and I was devastated because I knew I'd never get my friend back (which was more important to me than the feelings I was harboring). At one point, they did break up and she and I started something romantic but it was very short lived and I ended up hurt and devastated. They ultimately got back together and recently they broke up again and she wants another chance with me. She's broken my trust on many levels that I haven't discussed here, but when we were best friends, before this girl came into her life, we were inseparable and connected and had a great friendship that I believed no one could ever touch. She also realizes that her ex was very manipulative and was a key factor in our dissolution. Her ex still lives with her until she finishes school and can move back to her own country at the beginning of September this year. So for the next month and a half I have to endure her presence. We haven't "gotten back together" since the ex is still in the house, but the goal is that once the ex moves out, we will try to start something. The real trouble is that I don't want her talking to her ex anymore once she's gone. She's come between us so many times that I don't trust her to be in our lives. She keeps trying to reassure me that this is real and she's really not going to go back to her ever, she is done, she feels nothing romantic towards her at all, but she would like to maintain a casual friendship with her. In normal circumstances, casual friendship with an ex (especially one in another state or country) would be fine with me. But because of the history, it makes me crazy. I want her gone for good and in all aspects. She is unwilling to budge on this. She has made concessions for me and given me whatever I want and bent over backwards for the last month to prove she loves me, and she hasn't wavered or broken at all, no matter how difficult I make it. But this one thing is something she won't do. She says it's unfair for me to tell her who she can and can't speak to. I agree... it's not healthy to do that. I know this, but I can't help how I feel. So what should I do? Should I acknowledge everything else she's done to prove herself and just give the benefit of the doubt and see what happens and what transpires? Or should I just walk away from this altogether? I really do love her, so much. There are a million reasons why we are right for each other and I feel like we can overcome everything... but I don't feel so confident about that when the ex is still a potential presence in her life, no matter how small. Any help is appreciated. Edited July 20, 2013 by Bellavia Question was way too long for anyone to bother reading, let alone reply to
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