Southern Cal Dude Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 I'm not sure why this is, but I found that ignoring the hottest girls gets their attention. I'm not referring to the moderately pretty, but rather the top of the line. With average and even somewhat above average girls, you can generally tell when they're into you. The signs, more often than not, are there. The hottest ones though usually act completely cold, distant, and aloof. This actually goes back a few years to one of my old jobs. Most of the girls there were nice and had no issue talking to me. They said hello, asked me how I was, and there were no problems. However, the two hottest ones there completely ignored me. I didn't take it personally. I just gave them the same treatment right back. Not long after I left the job, I ran into one of the girls who was friends with one of the hot girls. She was telling me that was she was interested, so I told her that she was cold, distant, and aloof. Those are masculine traits, not feminine. Point being is a woman possessing those traits is self-defeating. I would have gone out with her if she wasn't like that. No one wants an ice queen. 1
ThaWholigan Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 Strangely, although I understand where you're coming from and seen it in real life, I personally have had many experiences that denote the opposite. Some of the most beautiful girls in my eyes were actually open and nice, while the ones who were more modest by conventional standards tended to be more guarded and cold. Where I can somewhat disagree is when you say that "no-one" wants an ice queen - you'd be surprised at some who find these traits quite alluring. Even part of me is attracted to it, the challenge aspect anyway. I also suspect that behind it lies more. Also, while they may tend to be more masculine than feminine traits, the fact is not every woman is completely feminine anyway and her conforming herself to try to be can sometimes upset her natural balance as she isn't being herself. 1
Jbum5 Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 I know many proud men who will intentionally ignore the prettiest women because they'd rather not give in to feeding the woman's ego. You're actions are by any means normal.
Author Southern Cal Dude Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 Strangely, although I understand where you're coming from and seen it in real life, I personally have had many experiences that denote the opposite. Some of the most beautiful girls in my eyes were actually open and nice, while the ones who were more modest by conventional standards tended to be more guarded and cold. Where I can somewhat disagree is when you say that "no-one" wants an ice queen - you'd be surprised at some who find these traits quite alluring. Even part of me is attracted to it, the challenge aspect anyway. I also suspect that behind it lies more. Also, while they may tend to be more masculine than feminine traits, the fact is not every woman is completely feminine anyway and her conforming herself to try to be can sometimes upset her natural balance as she isn't being herself. Being open and nice can actually make a girl more beautiful. Ice queens have masculine traits, which is why most guys don't like that. Just as feminine women like masculine men, masculine men like feminine women. 1
phineas Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 She's live a life where men flocked to her like crazy & she never had to do anything at all. She assumes if you as a man are not hitting on her you must not be interested & she has zero clue how to show interest in a man because she never has had to. Cracks me up because I know women like this personally & I refuse to be like all the other desperate looser's & drool all over her. I'll talk to her, joke around, hang in a group, ect but will not chase & will not ask out a woman who doesn't even flirt with me & acts like she just wants to be friends. Hence i think i friendzoned her. because while I see they are beautiful & attractive, I don't feel a desire to sleep with them just because they are so passive.
Divasu Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 Being open and nice can actually make a girl more beautiful. Ice queens have masculine traits, which is why most guys don't like that. Just as feminine women like masculine men, masculine men like feminine women. But you weren't being open and nice either, since you ignored them. The other girls you mentioned, approached you first, which made you 'submissive', which isn't a masculine trait... 1
ThaWholigan Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 Being open and nice can actually make a girl more beautiful. Ice queens have masculine traits, which is why most guys don't like that. Just as feminine women like masculine men, masculine men like feminine women. I don't disagree at all. What I'm saying is that some women naturally have masculine traits, much like some men have feminine traits. I've seen couples with that dynamic (masculine woman, feminine man) and they worked to varying degrees. So being open and nice can make a girl more beautiful in general, yes. But a girl with masculine traits isn't necessarily doomed . Ice queens get love too
KathyM Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 There are usually one of two reasons why a woman appears aloof, regardless of her attractiveness level. #1. She is shy, more introverted, or believes the man should make the first move. #2. She is not interested. If she appears aloof, you shouldn't automatically assume she would not be interested. It may be just her personality, and she may warm up to you once she knows you are interested in her. If you were interested, you should have approached them. 1
Author Southern Cal Dude Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 But you weren't being open and nice either, since you ignored them. The other girls you mentioned, approached you first, which made you 'submissive', which isn't a masculine trait... Getting approached doesn't automatically make you submissive. Being cold, distant, and aloof actually is masculine. So I was being masculine. I don't disagree at all. What I'm saying is that some women naturally have masculine traits, much like some men have feminine traits. I've seen couples with that dynamic (masculine woman, feminine man) and they worked to varying degrees. They may have it naturally, but it doesn't make them more appealing.
Author Southern Cal Dude Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 If you were interested, you should have approached them. Women have no problem approaching men they're interested in. Same could have been said for her. If she doesn't want to approach, others have and will.
Divasu Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 Being cold, distant, and aloof actually is masculine. So I was being masculine. No. Masculine behavior is one that includes boldness... 1
ThaWholigan Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 They may have it naturally, but it doesn't make them more appealing. Not to you and "most guys" maybe. More for me
Moe'sTavern Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 But you weren't being open and nice either, since you ignored them. The other girls you mentioned, approached you first, which made you 'submissive', which isn't a masculine trait... How does that make him submissive?
Author Southern Cal Dude Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 No. Masculine behavior is one that includes boldness... Agree to disagree. If I wasn't being masculine, she wouldn't have been into me. Strong silence = also masculine. 1
MrCastle Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 Well they get so much male attention, they don't know how to process disinterest. Some have, as you said, started showing interest because I was different than the other guys, but sometimes their ego is so big that they can't for the life of them understand how you're not bowing at their feet, and give you absolutely nothing. I remember one girl in particular I used to go to school with, we had a lot of projects and stuff we had to do in class together. She was pretty cold and I can't help but shake the feeling it was because she couldn't believe I wasn't treating her like a goddess. She was a model. I was not impressed. I'm not intimidated by looks. So I treated her like a regular person and she didn't exactly warm up to me. I wonder what would have happened had I been one of those other guys treating her like a queen but I assume nothing good. As far as girls that are standoffish, I thought the ice queen was a fun challenge, but it gets old fast. After a while you realize that's just how they are. They're not going to change. I wasn't put here to entertain a woman for her approval like some sort of court jester. 1
KathyM Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 Women have no problem approaching men they're interested in. Same could have been said for her. If she doesn't want to approach, others have and will. Most women do not approach men. Especially those who get approached a lot by men and have a lot going for them. If you want to wait to be approached by women, then your options will be lower, and restricted only to those who had the guts to approach the man. You should go after the women you want and learn to pursue. Not wait to be pursued. 2
Author Southern Cal Dude Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 Most women do not approach men. Especially those who get approached a lot by men and have a lot going for them. If you want to wait to be approached by women, then your options will be lower, and restricted only to those who had the guts to approach the man. You should go after the women you want and learn to pursue. Not wait to be pursued. Not IME. My options have never been limited. Men with options don't pursue. They don't have to. 3
KathyM Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 Not IME. My options have never been limited. Men with options don't pursue. They don't have to. Women with options don't pursue. So I guess you'll be limited to only those who do pursue, as will the women. The thing is, most men DO pursue, but if you are satisfied with having the woman do the selection, rather than selecting on your own, then so be it. I have this conversation with my two youngest sons pretty often. I tell them that THEY need to be the pursuer, and willing to pursue the women they want. They get used to being pursued by women, rather than being the selector themselves. The women who have the most going for them get a lot of attention from men, and have a lot to choose from. They are not likely to pursue you. It is not wired into them. But if you are happy with the women who pursue you, so be it. Just don't complain that the women who were the hottest were not attainable, because you didn't make the effort to pursue them.
Divasu Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 Agree to disagree. If I wasn't being masculine, she wouldn't have been into me. Strong silence = also masculine. Masculine to me, equals the whole package. Someone who exhibits strength, boldness and leadership. A component of psychological behavior --->people wanting and being attracted to what they can't have, is typically instinctive and fuels motivation because their attention to it is heightened. So, you 'resisting' could be demonstrative as 'strength' and women will be attracted to that. If it works for you, and it is a natural function of your core being, great. If it's an 'act', that's a different story... 1
Author Southern Cal Dude Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 Women with options don't pursue. So I guess you'll be limited to only those who do pursue, as will the women. The thing is, most men DO pursue, but if you are satisfied with having the woman do the selection, rather than selecting on your own, then so be it. I have this conversation with my two youngest sons pretty often. I tell them that THEY need to be the pursuer, and willing to pursue the women they want. They get used to being pursued by women, rather than being the selector themselves. The women who have the most going for them get a lot of attention from men, and have a lot to choose from. They are not likely to pursue you. It is not wired into them. But if you are happy with the women who pursue you, so be it. Just don't complain that the women who were the hottest were not attainable, because you didn't make the effort to pursue them. Women with options still pursue the most desirable men. The wiring stuff is inaccurate because if it was, no woman would ever pursue. Most men pursue because THEY HAVE TO. Most men are of average looks, average intelligence, average personalities. I've been pursued by women from ages 15-50+. When you have great looks or some high form of status, women of all walks of life pursue you and that includes the best looking. Tis' life.
ThaWholigan Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 People pursue people. Some are obviously more gregarious than others. I see women approach men all the time. I've been approached quite a few times myself. 3
Author Southern Cal Dude Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 Masculine to me, equals the whole package. Someone who exhibits strength, boldness and leadership. A component of psychological behavior --->people wanting and being attracted to what they can't have, is typically instinctive and fuels motivation because their attention to it is heightened. So, you 'resisting' could be demonstrative as 'strength' and women will be attracted to that. If it works for you, and it is a natural function of your core being, great. If it's an 'act', that's a different story... None of which is related to pursuing. Take a look at Clint Eastwood, John Wayne, and any of the James Bonds. None of them were terribly outgoing or warm personalities. But women still fawned over them and even pursued them. Hence where the strong silence comes into play. Wanting what you can't have is one thing, but that soon wears off.
MrCastle Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 I always walk up to a group of women look the hottest one dead in the eyes and ask if her friend would like to dance or let me buy her a drink. Then I ignore the hot one. OP you are 100% dead on in your assessment IMO women handle rejection worse than men. That's why a lot of them don't pursue, in my experience. About every time I turned a girl down I didn't like, my sexuality was called into question by the woman. Well, not so much into question as they didn't ask me if I was gay but pretty much told me I was. 3
New User Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 It amuses me greatly when a woman presumes to tell a man what is and what isn't masculine.
Author Southern Cal Dude Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 People pursue people. Some are obviously more gregarious than others. I see women approach men all the time. I've been approached quite a few times myself. As long as you put yourself out there. My job requires I interact with many people at one time. And yes, women do pursue. It's happened to me, it's happened to my friends, and I've witnessed it first hand done to others.
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