Enna Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 When I was dumped I didn't beg or anything. Went immediate NC. He then sent a text and then an email every week. When I didn't reply he started to contact my friends and posted pictures of us when we met on Facebook. He went from 'I have loved you' to 'I love you' and 'I miss you' and 'I don't want to lose you.' On day 40-something of NC I cracked. Cue long texting conversation. I said I couldn't be friends, and since we weren't together he wouldn't hear from me again and after 'DON'T SAY THAT ANYMORE!' he said 'OK if that's how you feel I guess there's nothing I can do.' Since then I've been NC (day 16 since my lapse) and the emails have continued - one a week. One said that the split was mutual and he only broke with me because he thought it's what I wanted (rubbish!) but it was probably his fault and he cried about me every day. The next was an update on how his life was going well and but a place in his heart was so empty but he really really missed me. Today's says 'I am just sending you a note to say I love you and always miss you.' Do things like this EVER turn into 'I'm so sorry, I want another chance'? It's now almost two months since the break up.
BC1980 Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 I suppose it could turn into a second chance, but who knows. Kudos to you for not answering by the way. He sounds pretty confused to me, which is not fair to you. He is obviously saying things that a dumper would not usually say. I don't get his motives at all.
Rachelmcandrew Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 I hope this works out for you - I guess the key is the reasons why you broke up. Do you think the problems could be resolved? I went through something similar to this, and we did get back together (only to break up again recently). I don't regret going back to him, because I know now 100% that he could never make me happy. If you still think he could be the one for you, maybe wait until he says he wants another chance and think about giving it to him. If the 2nd time doesnt work, there's your answer.
daftpunk Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 I'm sure they do, sometimes. That's by no means a guarantee for your situation. Only you can be the judge on whether or not you want to try things again. If you do, then there's no sense in playing games. Tell him that if he wants you back, he has to [insert what you need in order to feel comfortable trying again here]. If you don't want to try again, or if you're on the fence, just ignore him. Time will make it clear where your heart lies, one way or another. You can only fall to one side when you're walking the edge of a knife. 1
Author Enna Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 Oh I would try...but last time I made contact I felt as if he threw it back into my face. Surely any attempt at reconciliation has to be from him? I just can't understand why week after week he tells me he loves me and misses me in these emails...if he can send email after email that isn't replied to, he can surely ask me for a second chance?
daftpunk Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 Oh I would try...but I only needed to read this far to know that you should just ignore him. At least for now.
Author Enna Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 :-) Thank you. He keeps saying he wants to meet up...but then that's what was going to happen the other week, when I broke NC. He couldn't tell me in advance what it was he wanted to say...and he then tried to fit me into an hour time-slot due to his friend coming over from overseas! Fair enough re friends but...he'd begged me to contact him for WEEKS at that point!
xilver Posted July 21, 2013 Posted July 21, 2013 On day 40-something of NC I cracked. Cue long texting conversation. I said I couldn't be friends, and since we weren't together he wouldn't hear from me again I don't understand this. How could you be friends in that 40 day period and NC the whole time too?
xilver Posted July 21, 2013 Posted July 21, 2013 Oh I would try...but last time I made contact I felt as if he threw it back into my face. Surely any attempt at reconciliation has to be from him? I just can't understand why week after week he tells me he loves me and misses me in these emails...if he can send email after email that isn't replied to, he can surely ask me for a second chance? Yes! Maybe he just hasn't figured it out yet. Maybe he will ask you as a last resort. There's also a chance he may not figure it out before you move on. He is throwing himself out there pretty good though if he tells you repeatedly he loves you and you say nothing back. I don't know if I'd be able to continue telling someone that if they just ignored me.
bluegreen Posted July 21, 2013 Posted July 21, 2013 WoW he gave you whole hour God how generous of him
Author Enna Posted July 21, 2013 Author Posted July 21, 2013 I don't understand this. How could you be friends in that 40 day period and NC the whole time too? He was contacting me and I was NC - but he just presumed that one day I'd 'wake up' and feel better and be his friend. I contacted him after the 40 days to explain that I was not going to be his friend.
Author Enna Posted July 21, 2013 Author Posted July 21, 2013 WoW he gave you whole hour God how generous of him Yeah, I thought that was brilliant!!!
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