3 Months on and I had to do it

[omit]

I have been on the wrong side of NC for a few months now, What I mean by that is I have only moved small steps. I have been battling the need to try and tell her that I still haven't given up.

 

This is how it all happened

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/402335-some-times-i-less-than-wonderful#post4980251

 

 

 

I feel bad about trying to contact her and being ignored is hard too, but I did ask for another chance, But I cant shake the regret that I might be stating the fight to hold on to her too late. Any one else finding it hard to deal with regret. I feel like I have been carrying this regret/guilt for days now.

 

I have realised that a lot of it comes from not being able to sort my emotions out at the time and say how I feel, I cant help but feel I needed to tell her I really do love her and I am sorry, she needed to know there is no one like her and I wont let go.

Edited July 20, 2013 by omit

[EmptyWalls]

Dude I just recently did this. I spilled my guts to her. I spilled my guts in the beginning but its different now. I think in the beginning of the break up there was to much hurt and pain to actually listen. We were both honest and respectful of each others feelings, been the longest we had talked in 6 months. I dont know... we talked about a lot of things and she basically just said she wasnt happy with me anymore. Explained some of the reasons she wasnt happy.

 

Things that could of been worked on, actually things that dont even no longer apply lol. but she has moved on. I think a lot of it is because she actually convinced her self she was unhappy she says a lot of things to me that dont make any sense. I treated her good was nice, gave her a place to live, cooked for her, told her everyday she was sexy. But according to her I didnt but I didnt argue with her I know what I did and did not do. She has moved on into another relationship now. And it ****ing hurts yes.

 

I asked her was there any chance of a "us" in the future because im holding on to this hope and its a black cloud. She said "No". Its funny I knew the answer before she said it and it still doesnt seem real. But I listened and I told her I understood. Things could of been better but it takes two and when youre in a relationship as long as we were you get comfortable and lazy and you take each other for granted. She states she wants me in her life and be there.

 

I explained to her that I dont know where I go from here but I will try and I cant make any promises because seeing here in another mans arms or knowing I still love her and cant express it is a big sting in my heart. So we are going to try to meet up and work through this transition from relationship to friends and I look at it openly. But I also said who knows what the future holds and she agreed. I feel better since we have talked almost like a big burden has been lifted off my shoulders. I think I was at the point mentally to communicate with her. It was actually one of the best conversations we ever had.

[Darren Steez]

M. O. V. E O.N

 

She's not talking to you, she said it was too late. Maybe you should take her at her word that she means what she says. She's ignoring you for a reason. Is this all making sense now?

 

If she's ever ready to talk to you then she will but to be frank, you had your chance and you blew it. Some people just don't go back into those situations. Don't hold regret but use this as a lesson to you on how to be there in relationships.

 

It might make your next relationship all the more better.

[omit]

I feel better since we have talked almost like a big burden has been lifted off my shoulders. I think I was at the point mentally to communicate with her. It was actually one of the best conversations we ever had.

 

 

I didn't make the most of the opportunity to talk and I see what the other guy is saying, some times people do not go back.

 

I am just finding it hard to accept.

Edited July 20, 2013 by omit

[omit]

I'm not sure why I cant just go and leave it and never look back. I am trying to gain a bit of perspective on the whole thing. Even trying to identify why it happened why I acted the way I did.

 

I can look close and find reasons lots of small ones but I don't believe that they are the real reason. I tried to find some way in which the whole thing was more 50/50 in the end. But it was all one way I was the one doing the damage. I cant see it any other way

Edited July 20, 2013 by omit

[Echo000]

too much analysis. too much thought. trust me im awful because i do this to an extreme. but its pointless. does NOT matter who did what, as long as you learn and better yourself as a person, then thats all that matters.

 

Move on. Stop overthinking. You are thinking about something THAT NO LONGER EXISTS

[JDPT]

Like I've been good in the past, "you are fighting a ghost"Don't invest your time and energy in something that is gone. It's difficult going from having someone who we loved on a daily basis for that someone to abruptly disappear on us. Give it a rest it's gone, focus on a better you now, you will come out stronger.

[omit]

Echo, you are right. I'm glad I tried. I realise now I cant hang on

Edited July 20, 2013 by omit

[Echo000]

you fought the honest fight, as did i- it just didnt work. and thats probably for the best.

 

I am sure you are like me in this: i want someone who wants me just as badly as i want them, who wants to be the best person they can be, who is willing not just to be understood but also seek to understand. To be selfless, to be caring and loving and thoughtful and communicate clearly. To be goal oriented and driven and mature.

 

If its not there, or that person doesnt want to give that to you, you pat yourself on the back (you dont beat yourself up) and you move on and get by as best you can.

[omit]

I have decided to seek a bit of help, parts of this I do not understand.