avidrider97 Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 Thank you in advance for reading about my stupid problems... To start off, I am a lower age than my account suggests and I need assistance! I just moved into a small town from a large fast paced suburban area with family, I visited my Grandparents in the summers past, but now I moved and a permanent resident in the small town. Anyways, there is a girl who lives on the block that I met around 3 weeks ago, we had to take a summer class together at the high school and she often "studied" with me at my house for tests of the three week course. We talked for hours the first few nights about things we had similar view's on, like religion, music, television, and just about everything. It was refreshing to meet a person with the same views on life and to meet a girl with morals, previously coming from a large melting pot of cultures in an urban location... and man can I say, that really goes a long ways today. After a few days and if I was off work we would often watch a movie after studying and I would put my arm around her and whatnot. I took her to a movie before we started actually being together, more as a friend if you will. She "accidentally" sent me a message that was supposed to be to one of her friends saying she didn't know if she wanted to ask me something. I knew she was embarrassed but I didn't see why... I assumed she wanted to know if I wanted to be with her or if I liked her, so I just asked her if she wanted to be together and she said yes on the night of an event she invited me to. She told me that she was going to ask me something similar. As we were talking one night she asked what was wrong with me... to my surprise she said I was smart, funny and attractive, or something along those lines, and that there must have been something wrong with me. I kind of new she liked me. I was fairly confident that she knew I liked her. She was humored that I play guitar, coincidentally she bought one too. She sarcastically asked me who the sexy guy was mowing my and my neighbors yards and things of that nature, I am by no means an especially attractive guy, I am just your everyday, average American boy, I will admit I am more of the well off spectrum of the town, also that my two flaws are that I may be too nice to people and they get the wrong idea and I am humble about things. One night I asked her what she would do if I kissed her, she said I would have to find out... so I manned up kissed her the following night, again another night, and again the night she invited me to an event. She came over almost every night until her dad returned from his job, since then her parents sort of put the kibosh on her coming over, and according to her they still don't even know about us, but we still saw each other in class until Thursday in which the course ended. She said she has been cheated on and I genuinely do know how that feels, but that is another deal completely... I am not an extremely sociable person in the sense of modern social media, I am not looking for a quick lay or something along those lines. That being said I had many friends and acquaintances where I used to live but I don't like putting all of my business out there for the whole world (i.e. Facebook) or being stuck to each others faces in front off the whole school... and I really don't like talking to my family or mother about these sort of things as she feels the need to intervene with all aspects of my life.... That brings me to my big blunder, I have been in relationships with girls in which, apparently, I wasn't producing results or "didn't show them I cared enough", granted these girls are shallow attention whores and are nothing like this girl, I should have been smart enough to realize that and not say something to compromise a good relationship. I don't want this relationship to end... and especially not like my past ones as I really do like this girl. I was somewhat pushed into reluctantly telling this girl I loved her , pretty much the instant I said it I wish I hadn't and I realized my mistake. I am not sure if I do yet, but you cant just say something like that take it back, yet I don't want to take them back as I don't want to cause anymore harm than is already done. I told her I was sorry if I made her uncomfortable and she said not to be sorry about what I told her, which made me feel like a total dick because I didn't possess the sincerity that one should have when you tell somebody something like that. She then told me she didn't feel the same and it was too soon, which I expected and sort of agree with, of course I didn't tell her that. We exchanged words about how she might freak out and end it, I told her I would be patient and I do sincerely want to be with her. She told me she still wanted to be with me, but needs some time... Anyway, here I am now in spite of my mistake typing on a computer... listening to Pennyroyal Tea by Nirvana... great song. I am frustrated with myself, I like this girl but I always manage to screw things up with women for the.....6th time....Damn. I need some help on this one, I know no one can be in my shoes to fully understand the situation but I don't know where else to turn, as all my old friends are of the *******, douche bag, or bitch, drama whore type not to mention only being able to be contacted via cell phone. What do I do? She lives across the street so its kind of unavoidable that we will see each other. I don't want to make her uncomfortable in that sense... I've never been told by a girl that she needs time so I am sort of dumbfounded, 3 days, a week...? Any help is appreciated...
Appleness Posted July 21, 2013 Posted July 21, 2013 If she says that she needs time, give her time. I know it sounds crazy but emotions are really irrational like that. While one person is taking their sweet time coming to a decision, the other person is on pins and needles the whole time. What may seem like ages to you may seem like nothing to her (as she's thinking things through). Regardless of how old you are now (I'm guessing teens?), trust me, it will be like this even when you get much older. (If you don't believe me, read some of the posts from people in their 50's and up.) Don't obsess about it and just distract yourself with other things. Concentrate on school or find some other stuff to do. Being in a small town might be hard but just get out, go for a drive (or bus ride), or find a hobby or a part time job. Anything to just take your mind off of it right now. You'd be surprised how quickly time will go by once you keep yourself busy.
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