Dating and religion

[MrTurk]

 

As I mentioned, there is also peer pressure from her Mom and Dad to keep and practice the religion.

 

That is a huge issue. And many many people just "go along" with what their family wants, because its easier than causing a huge issue within the family. I also think its absolutely wrong the way kids are forced to go into church, forced to learn the churches way before they are old enough to think for themselves. Religions take advantage of this very situation to seed young minds and keep their community growing.

 

Now if people unbiasedly chose to go to church, once they were old enough....once they were able to have a say....then that would be much more acceptable in my eyes.

Edited July 22, 2013 by MrTurk

[MissBee]

During my online dating stints I have sometimes notated that I am atheist on my profile. More than a dozen women have told me that they would have contacted me for a date, but when they saw I was atheist they changed their mind. So I posed the following example to them.....

 

*Say you are out somewhere, and you meet an amazing guy. You have an instant connection with him, and could definitely see dating him seriously. But after the night is over, you do not know where he stands on religion. Now if you ask him, and his beliefs counter yours....does that change who he is? Does that make him any different from that great guy you enjoyed hanging out with? No it doesnt. You simply made religion an issue*

 

I grew up in a religious home. I attended 8 years of catholic school. I know what is preached about, and how you are supposed to live. But I just find it a huge contradiction, that religious women instantly turn their back on someone that doesnt believe exactly what they believe. Arent religious people taught to be accepting of others?

 

Do you know how many people fake their religious beliefs just to date and marry someone?? Or to simply not cause conflict? That sh*t happens all the time. Yet someone like me that is openly honest about it gets black balled for it.

 

Religion is a big thing for many people. For many people it's not simply some box to check off, but actually governs their lives, what they teach their kids, what they believe about social issues, sometimes what they eat, drink, do for fun etc, therefore, it makes no sense for them to date someone who is incompatible with a huge, life-governing principle like that. I also don't get why an atheist would want to date a religious person, as I think that would be equally as incompatible.

 

I date people who I'm compatible with in worldview and how we go about what's important in life. I am not religious, but spiritual and would need to date a man who we see the world similarly, and could potentially build a life and have a family and have our way of thinking about the world be complementary versus at odds. I don't think an atheist, esp a militant one would work for me in light of my own worldview and that's fine....

 

I honestly don't understand why people get upset about not being someone's cup of tea, when it's legit. If someone passes you by because you're atheist, CLEARLY, they made that choice because it's a deal breaker to them. Why not date a woman who doesn't care about that or who sees the world more similarly to you, instead of wanting religious women or women not into atheists to change their worldviews to date you?

[MissBee]

Being accepting of others doesn't mean you have to date them or marry them. It means you accept their right to believe what they want and the freedom to believe what they want. Doesn't mean you have to date them or marry them. People want someone who is a match for them. Someone whom they can share their interests, their beliefs, their core values. Someone who is compatible with them.

 

Exactly!!!

 

I honestly wonder sometimes if there are people out there who truly have no standards, no requirements, don't care about compatibility but want to date ANYONE regardless of how not a match they are. If I were an atheist I would not be trying to date religious men....that makes no sense. I am not a very religious person, but spiritual, and I wouldn't date a very religious man either. It's not about not accepting, it's about realizing what fits into my life and what doesn't. Every man on earth won't be a good match for me, no matter how "nice" he is, and it's about finding those who are most aligned with you. I have tried to force compatibility, it's a huge headache! It's so much easier and natural when I choose to date those whose basic values and worldview complement my own. I don't understand why on Earth you would expect or want to date someone who has made it clear that you guys have incompatible worldviews/lifestyles. It's not an insult or a slight...it's very bizarre to try to date religious women if you yourself aren't religious. Why???