AP1994 Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 So there's this guy that I work with that I've gotten close to over the past couple of months. Nothing romantic -- he has a steady girlfriend who I've met a few times -- but he's been there to talk to during shifts and we trust each other enough to give each other some good advice when needed. Also, he's got a wicked sense of humor, and constantly jokes around when we work together. Recently though, management notified everyone that the store would be closing down for good. This hit all of the employees pretty hard, since this means that everyone would be switched to different locations, and many of us had formed friendships with one another. I guess this triggered something in me, cause that's the moment when I realized that **** -- I actually really like him. A lot. This really affected my mood a bit cause during one of the last days I was scheduled to work with him (we close our doors this coming Wednesday) he texted me and asked what was wrong. I was trying to distance myself from him by not talking as much and he must have noticed. So once I was outside of work that's when our texts continued. First I asked him it really was that important to him to know and that if he could handle and honest answer. He said yes. That's when I just told him that I liked him, but that I was getting over my feelings. I then closed by wishing him good luck with his new store, not expecting a reply. He did though. He told me that he was shocked I had the courage to tell him, that he knew I liked him, and that he liked me too. This really surprised me because he has a girlfriend.At this point I figure he's just trying to be extra nice since I had been open about how I felt..but that's when he drops another shocker. He says "I would have shown you what it's like to be a woman..." I didn't really know what to tell him after that so I just said I was flattered. With the way it ended up I think he caught on that I was really trying to distance myself from him, but he hinted that he'd be open to being friends. Honestly, did I do the right thing by walking away from this? I just feel like if I even stayed friends with him it would be too painful on my end cause I know he's already taken. Also, why do you think he reacted the way he did? Is he a cheater? :/
Mycteria Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 I think cheating is doing or saying anything to another person that you wouldn't want your SO to find out about. So yes, he's a cheater. You're better off forgetting about him. If he breaks up with his girlfriend on his own and without your further influence and contacts you and asks you on a proper date, then fine. But until then, you should at least respect their relationship. Because it doesn't seem like he does. 1
Treasa Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 (edited) He says "I would have shown you what it's like to be a woman..." So he knows what it's like to go through menstrual cycles, menopause, being shorter (usually), having certain societal pressures, etc.? Or was he just being lecherous? Given that he has a GIRLFRIEND, I think he's a lech, and I hope you were lying to him when you said you felt flattered. ETA: I just imagined saying to some guy, "I would have shown you what it's like to be a man," and I couldn't even THINK about it with a straight face. Even if he DIDN'T have a girlfriend, I would have lost all respect for him at this point. What a tool. Edited July 19, 2013 by Treasa 2
Author AP1994 Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 So he knows what it's like to go through menstrual cycles, menopause, being shorter (usually), having certain societal pressures, etc.? Or was he just being lecherous? Given that he has a GIRLFRIEND, I think he's a lech, and I hope you were lying to him when you said you felt flattered. ETA: I just imagined saying to some guy, "I would have shown you what it's like to be a man," and I couldn't even THINK about it with a straight face. Even if he DIDN'T have a girlfriend, I would have lost all respect for him at this point. What a tool. Yeah I think he was being a lech by saying that...but it's ****ing shame because he's such a great guy otherwise I just hope he grows out of whatever habit he has of flirting with other girls.
RebelWithoutACause Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 I think the most you can hope to be in this situation is a side fling for him. He just doesn't sound serious about leaving the gf and getting with you. If he was really into you, I think, his reaction to what you said would have been different to "I would have shown you what it's like to be a woman..." This is such a weird thing to say. Maybe he is testing you to see if you'd be into a fling. Since you don't want to be something on the side it's better you move on now. 1
KatZee Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 "I would have shown you what it's like to be a woman..." Would that have been before or after you went to go see your girlfriend?! HAHAHA. I would have written something back like, "And I would have shown you what it's like to be a man... It's called being faithful and not having emotional and potential physical affairs on your girlfriend." Gross. That whole statement alone sounds so skeezy. Totally would have hooked up with you if you allowed it. 1
Janesays Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 I think he took your 'confession' to mean you'd be willing to sell yourself short and be his little 'side piece.' Are you?
StayBeautiful Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 He says "I would have shown you what it's like to be a woman" I would have replied "What is this Earth thing you call 'kiss'?"
Author AP1994 Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 Oh gosh no. I mean granted he's cute but I respect his gf way too much to do anything. now I'm just pissed off over what he said...like why even tempt if he's not even ****ing single? I think he took your 'confession' to mean you'd be willing to sell yourself short and be his little 'side piece.' Are you?
xpaperxcutx Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 Oh gosh no. I mean granted he's cute but I respect his gf way too much to do anything. now I'm just pissed off over what he said...like why even tempt if he's not even ****ing single? It's a male ego thing. Also it says alot of the type of men he is, when presented with temptation, he will most likely cheat.
CptSaveAho Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 Oh gosh no. I mean granted he's cute but I respect his gf way too much to do anything. now I'm just pissed off over what he said...like why even tempt if he's not even ****ing single? Right! .... you didnt respect his girlfriend enough not to tell his boyfriend that you had feelings for him Gotta love women! "I would never do anything with him even though I have feelings for him and told him this and hopes that he would brreakup with her and be with me" 1
StayBeautiful Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 That's a good point actually - exactly why did you feel he had a right to know this information? What scenario were you playing out - that he would declare love and offer to leave his girlfriend?
darkmoon Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 (edited) do not be a side piece, if he dumps her then he can come back, side pieces are not even able to phone him up in case he is with his, ouch, girlfriend, no, save your booty for when you feel secure enough to let it loose, do not dance to his tune, he is asking for sex He says "I would have shown you what it's like to be a woman..."show you he loves you would be more like it I hope you know how worried I am for you Edited July 20, 2013 by darkmoon
xpaperxcutx Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 You guy would've still hung out as friends even though you guys won't work together anymore. Instead of confessing you could've just told him you enjoyed working with him and that he was like the brother you never had.
Author AP1994 Posted July 21, 2013 Author Posted July 21, 2013 Right! .... you didnt respect his girlfriend enough not to tell his boyfriend that you had feelings for him Gotta love women! "I would never do anything with him even though I have feelings for him and told him this and hopes that he would brreakup with her and be with me" I don't know what I was expecting out of his reaction..I just felt he had the right to know and it just slipped out. And I figured it wouldn't matter since it was the last time I would be working with him.
Author AP1994 Posted July 21, 2013 Author Posted July 21, 2013 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Sorry HAHAHAHAHAHA I know, right! I never even heard of that line before he said it..
Author AP1994 Posted July 21, 2013 Author Posted July 21, 2013 You guy would've still hung out as friends even though you guys won't work together anymore. Instead of confessing you could've just told him you enjoyed working with him and that he was like the brother you never had. Yeah. I guess I underestimated what his reaction would be..I made sure to make it clear that I was getting over my feelings..but I don't know. I think I'm just better off walking away from this. Cause honestly, he could have just said "aw that's nice" and ended it at that. He was kinda pushing it with the whole "I like you too" and "I would have shown you what it's like to be a woman" thing.
bluegreen Posted July 21, 2013 Posted July 21, 2013 It's a male ego thing. Also it says alot of the type of men he is, when presented with temptation, he will most likely cheat. Exactly WOOF watch out there goes dog and if he is willing to cheat on her he will even easier cheat on you ...
SantistaUSA Posted July 21, 2013 Posted July 21, 2013 Hi everyone, this is my first post! yay what are your guys age? I don't think it was disrespectful to his gf you telling him about how you feel, if you pursued something with him then yes. I'm a guy (34) and what he said to you sounds something like a immature guy would say, what a tool!
Author AP1994 Posted July 21, 2013 Author Posted July 21, 2013 You guy would've still hung out as friends even though you guys won't work together anymore. Instead of confessing you could've just told him you enjoyed working with him and that he was like the brother you never had. Now I really wish I did. Ah well..live and learn I guess :\
Author AP1994 Posted July 21, 2013 Author Posted July 21, 2013 Hi everyone, this is my first post! yay what are your guys age? I don't think it was disrespectful to his gf you telling him about how you feel, if you pursued something with him then yes. I'm a guy (34) and what he said to you sounds something like a immature guy would say, what a tool! I'm 18 and he's around 22.
Author AP1994 Posted July 21, 2013 Author Posted July 21, 2013 I think the most you can hope to be in this situation is a side fling for him. He just doesn't sound serious about leaving the gf and getting with you. If he was really into you, I think, his reaction to what you said would have been different to "I would have shown you what it's like to be a woman..." This is such a weird thing to say. Maybe he is testing you to see if you'd be into a fling. Since you don't want to be something on the side it's better you move on now. Yup. Moving on is what I'm gonna do.
xpaperxcutx Posted July 21, 2013 Posted July 21, 2013 I'm 18 and he's around 22. I assumed you guys were a lot older, but yep, he's a DB.
SadHumiliated Posted July 21, 2013 Posted July 21, 2013 Oh gosh no. I mean granted he's cute but I respect his gf way too much to do anything. now I'm just pissed off over what he said...like why even tempt if he's not even ****ing single? If you respected his girlfriend to begin with you would have set very strong emotional boundaries from the get go so not to develop feelings for him. And you would have never confessed those feelings to him. You would've cut contact with him and realize that a strictly platonic friendship would never work. You put yourself in that position. And he is already starting to cheat emotionally with you. This is a bad situation. Cut contact and disengage. She's the one who is going to get hurt.
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