ldg692 Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 I don't even know where to begin, but I'll try and keep it as short as possible! We met on the first night of university (we lived in the same court) and ended up sleeping together (I was a virgin prior to this). For the rest of the year we were on and off seeing each other whilst he was seeing other girls and friends of mine in the same court. At the end of the year we became boyfriend and girfriend and lived together for the remaining two years of uni, with other friends (we initially decided to live together as friends with friends before we became boyfriend and girlfriend). During our second year of uni and first year of living together things for us were going well as a couple but we had fallen out with another couple in the house which put a lot of strain on us, and as a result he went out drinking a lot and then got quite verbally abusive towards me when drunk. Prior to this he had gone to split up with me as he said that he was too young for a serious relationship. When I would go visit him in his home city and go on his laptop I would also find him on a number of dating websites messaging girls, this was apparently harmless fun and something to boost his confidence. During that summer we were fine and then he went away on holiday and dumped me whilst he was out there and I was in bits. We got back together a week or so after he came back and then moved in together for our final year. Our final year started out well but he wasn't enjoying his course and the house was a sh*t hole so it wasn't great living conditions. It was during this year things really started to spiral out of control for us. He was going out constantly and coming back wrecked and saying nasty things to me (who would normally be asleep!) Once he got back at like 5am, hours after our housemates and I asked him where he had been and he showed me his phone which had texts from this girl he met at the club showing that he'd been with her. I had also found him on and off dating websites continuously with each time him promising and swearing blind to me he wasn't on them/ wouldn't do it again. We had had a number of rows during our final year at uni just general bickering about my lack of trust for him and his behaviour. Then there was one time he dumped me after I found the texts from that girl from the club and it was me begging him not to dump me but he did. And he went out that night and when he got back I tried to make it up to him and get us back together but he wasn't having none of it and that was the case the following morning too. So the next day I wrote him a letter telling him how much I loved him and how many great memories I have with him and how I've loved having him as a best friend and will miss all of this a lot. And I rang my dad and got him to take me home for a few days just so I could chill out and come to terms with this without having to live under the same roof as him. I was absolutely devastated by it all but I maintained n/c after I wrote that letter and then found it was him drunk ringing me and texting me during them few days I was at home! I then returned to the house and found he had been living in my room! and after a while he returned to the house (Not knowing I was there) came in my room and started crying saying he was sorry and he wanted us to be together. Since then we've been pretty good, with the odd bicker but then uni finished and we both moved back home (far away from each other) he got a full time job and I visited him a couple of times. My situation now is that he has completely ignored me for a week and one of his last messages was saying that he couldnt do a long term relationship anymore which was in reply to us talking about how we never get to talk anymore and me feeling like he's ignoring me. I can't believe he would end it like that? It's been a pretty full on three years and we are really close and now nothing, he's dumping me by ignoring me? Basically, I just don't know where to go from here, I feel like I have portrayed him as a bad person and our relationship as a shambles but it's not. He's my best friend and I love him a lot and we did have a great relationship but I think it's slipped away from me now. I would love for us to be together and for him to make more time for me (even one text a day would keep me happy) but I don't think this will happen now so I would like some advice on how to move on from this Thank you
xilver Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 He has been screwing way too many girls over the course of your relationship for you to be able to trust him. You should try not to put yourself in that position with him again. He sounds like a sex addict that is more interested in putting notches on his bedpost than being in a lasting relationship.
Combo Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 He sounds like an abusive, unfaithful, and immature jerk. Doesn't sound like he will be ready for a serious relationship any time soon. In a few years you will hopefully look back and cringe at how you put up with such a low quality partner.
Author ldg692 Posted July 19, 2013 Author Posted July 19, 2013 Thank you, I guess it's just hard. We've been together over 2 years, living together for 2 years, neighbours for an additional year! I just can't understand how you could dump someone by ignoring them, it's really harsh and seems unjustified for the length of time we've been together and the intensity of that relationship.
mano Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 Just an immature jerk ! U have already put up with alot of crap here. Better off without him
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