FebruaryAmor Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 I will try to be as descriptive as possible and SHORT. My bf and I have been together for over a year. im 24, hes 25. Im pisces he's a scorpio. My bf is not really good with navigation and directions and gets lost a lot. He usually has me go with him on short errand trips like 30 mins away to do something and I usually go when I have nothing to do. I guess I ease his anxiety of getting lost idk. anyways he asked if I can go on an hour drive with him tomorrow morning (SATURDAY MORNING) and I was like no I don't feel like it im sorry. He burst in anger and said.. "no?! NO?! Are you serious!? I ask for a favor and you cant do that?" I was like.. if u need the directions.. why don't u just print it out or do it the old school way and write the directions down? His phone doesn't have gps. He only wants me to go to use my gps on my phone. He said no he doesn't want to write the directions he wants me to go. I said... I don't have to say yes.. I have a life and I don't need to do what you tell me to. I offered him to use my phone for the hour because our argument got so bad that he was like "get the hell out my house!" . I was like "you're NOT going to throw me out your house like some whore! You better recognize who I am" . I hate when he threatens me like that. its not fair. all over me saying no to him. wtf is he controlling? should I have declined more politely??
mammasita Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 Based on this post, it doesn't seem like you've communicated your issue to him. Ultimately, you do have the right to decline. I guess my question is, have you discussed feeling like you're being used for your GPS? 1
Dread Pirate Roberts Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 I will try to be as descriptive as possible and SHORT. My bf and I have been together for over a year. im 24, hes 25. Im pisces he's a scorpio. My bf is not really good with navigation and directions and gets lost a lot. He usually has me go with him on short errand trips like 30 mins away to do something and I usually go when I have nothing to do. I guess I ease his anxiety of getting lost idk. anyways he asked if I can go on an hour drive with him tomorrow morning (SATURDAY MORNING) and I was like no I don't feel like it im sorry. He burst in anger and said.. "no?! NO?! Are you serious!? I ask for a favor and you cant do that?" I was like.. if u need the directions.. why don't u just print it out or do it the old school way and write the directions down? His phone doesn't have gps. He only wants me to go to use my gps on my phone. He said no he doesn't want to write the directions he wants me to go. I said... I don't have to say yes.. I have a life and I don't need to do what you tell me to. I offered him to use my phone for the hour because our argument got so bad that he was like "get the hell out my house!" . I was like "you're NOT going to throw me out your house like some whore! You better recognize who I am" . I hate when he threatens me like that. its not fair. all over me saying no to him. wtf is he controlling? should I have declined more politely?? Then don't go with him. Just don't ever expect him to wanna go somewhere with you or do things with you when you want. None of us know who you or your boyfriend are so we don't have enough facts to make a real assessment of the situation.
Treasa Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 anyways he asked if I can go on an hour drive with him tomorrow morning (SATURDAY MORNING) and I was like no I don't feel like it im sorry. He burst in anger and said.. "no?! NO?! Are you serious!? I ask for a favor and you cant do that?" You don't need to decline more politely. You need to get rid of him. He reminds me of Prince Joffrey from GoT. Whiny little bitch... 5
Dread Pirate Roberts Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 Based on this post, it doesn't seem like you've communicated your issue to him. Ultimately, you do have the right to decline. I guess my question is, have you discussed feeling like you're being used for your GPS? I don't think it has anything to do with the gps, because he could have taken it with him like she said. He wanted her to go with. Maybe he legitimately wanted her to go. 1
Treasa Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 I think he wants to control her. A healthy, mature adult doesn't get all bent because someone has something going on (even if it's sleeping in) already and can't be at their beck and call. Dude needs to get over it and do some maturing. 1
Phantom888 Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 wow, I never thought couples fought over this kind of stuff. I would basically laugh about this, but looks like you guys are serious!
phineas Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 what the hell do your signs have to do with anything?!?!?!? 1
tbf Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 Next up, feet stomping and head smashing against crib bars, while throwing tantrums. Your correspondence to him should begin with: Dear Ex-boyfriend, 2
Ninjainpajamas Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 This guy sounds really immature and co-dependent, then throws a fit when he doesn't get what he wants...and like children do, they get upset when they don't always get what they want. What you did was perfectly reasonable, even extending it beyond to have him use your phone which wasn't necessary...the boy needs to buy himself a GPS and learn to control himself...he does feel a bit controlling but in the entitlement area. Don't let this guys childish antics sway you around and make you feel like you're in the wrong, stand your ground and address the problem at a later time when nerves are calm again...but this guy really sounds like he's not going to change any time soon. Then he goes as far as telling you to get out of his house...kicking you out basically, for me that's pretty much deal-breaker because I'd expect that person to continually act childish and dramatic in any serious situation, I could only imagine what he'd do and say if he had actually a point to be upset....probably kick you off planet earth. 4
sillyanswer Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 our argument got so bad that he was like "get the hell out my house!" . I was like "you're NOT going to throw me out your house like some whore! You better recognize who I am" . I hate when he threatens me like that. Does that happen often? Why don't you do what he says about getting out of his house (and then never go back)? 2
bluegreen Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 Exactly WHY did you ever go back to the house and do you really think he will EVER respect you enough afterwards time and time going back ? Girl he thinks of you as a puppy he kicks and abuses yet you keep taking it once again WHY ? You love him but hon how about you start loving yourself first then add doze of self respect and appreciation as well ? 1
Lansing Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 He can get a Gps for less than $50. Why doesn't he just get one.. Doesn't sound like the gos thing is the issue but it had "become" an issue do to lack of communication. With my ex, if I ever asked her for something she would drag her feet or make excuses while if she needed something I was often pro active and would do things in advance for her. I know that THAT was what bugged me near the end when I started realizing it. Not that she said NO One time but that I truly felt she didn't give a crap. Hard to say in your relationship but maybe he feels like you don't care to even go for a drive with him (where was he going? Maybe he thought you would enjoy the trip?) 1
Author FebruaryAmor Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 Does that happen often? Why don't you do what he says about getting out of his house (and then never go back)? Ya or if we r out and he doesnt like the way things r going he will be like "alright you know what lets go!" And I just stare at him like no . I feel like such a dumbass right now! We went out to a place I been wanting to go to since last year. He called me and ask me out on a date I got all dressed nice. My mom helped me out picking outfits it felt fun. we go out then we stay until midnight hes like we gotta go and be up by 6. Im like 6??! I thot it was 10???. So we argue until 2 am about everything. The liquor is also influencing me. I tell him im leaving him hes like no ur just drunk. now im sitting in his car heading to the location. He didnt even have the decency to wake me up so I can get ready. He barges in dressed and says...r u ready to go? I didnt even get a chance to pee. My gps isnt working on my phone so I told him I csnt go to lool at the directions on mapquest.com as back up. He did and then told me to look at them. I said why do I need to ur the one driving. Idk y he needs me to go so bad. All I wanna do is sleep. Hes trying to talk to me on the ride im rolling my eyes and hes like u guna just ignore me??! Im like I dont wamma talk to u! U woke me up and draggged me out bed not even ready. Didnt even wash the crust out my eyes and u want me to talk??! Its clearly not about the gps. He just wants me to go for the ride. Why does he want me around him when im miserable. I told him drop me bacm off to my place when he was like ur unreal. I said well y do u want me here?? Aftrr this trip im done
Lansing Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 Where are you going ? Where is he taking you? Asa guy, to be honest, I can feel for his situation. I have had girls before that we're just a pain in the butt and weren't pleased by anything. Why should he be responsible to wake up? Just the vibe I am getting from ou is making me be on his side. Obviously some huge communication issues in our relationship and. Y the sounds of it you aren't willing to work on it so yeah you mine as well breaki off. 1
Author FebruaryAmor Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 Where are you going ? Where is he taking you? Asa guy, to be honest, I can feel for his situation. I have had girls before that we're just a pain in the butt and weren't pleased by anything. Why should he be responsible to wake up? Just the vibe I am getting from ou is making me be on his side. Obviously some huge communication issues in our relationship and. Y the sounds of it you aren't willing to work on it so yeah you mine as well breaki off. I slept over his place and set the alarm on his phone for us to wake up. When he came back dressed and was like time to go I was like huh?? Like if u need somwone to go with u somewhere wouldnt u wake them up a few minutes before we r going to pick up bike parts for him its like an hour away from bostpn. He was yellimg saying u know what I do everything for u in a heart beat I feel like just driving off the bridge. I said not with me in it plz drop me off and he was like yeah u want me to? I said sure y not. I dont like feeling like I have no options. Like I HAVE to go. He said my excuse for not wanting to go wasnt good enough. Like do I need a permission slip wtf
phineas Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 I slept over his place and set the alarm on his phone for us to wake up. When he came back dressed and was like time to go I was like huh?? Like if u need somwone to go with u somewhere wouldnt u wake them up a few minutes before we r going to pick up bike parts for him its like an hour away from bostpn. He was yellimg saying u know what I do everything for u in a heart beat I feel like just driving off the bridge. I said not with me in it plz drop me off and he was like yeah u want me to? I said sure y not. I dont like feeling like I have no options. Like I HAVE to go. He said my excuse for not wanting to go wasnt good enough. Like do I need a permission slip wtf Why are you still with him again?
hoping2heal Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 How often do you two spend time together? I'm not asking how often you're at his house. I'm talking time without television, texting, social networking, etc. Where you two engage one on one?
Author FebruaryAmor Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 How often do you two spend time together? I'm not asking how often you're at his house. I'm talking time without television, texting, social networking, etc. Where you two engage one on one? We go on alot of dates. Usually dinner.. movies. But those arent reslly engaging. So id say a few times but it feels so disconnected. one time we went to the beach he asked if i wanted to go i said sure.No phones no nothing. I put on my bikini and I was like yes we guns have interactive fun..we're guna go in the water and hes guna throw me in were guna give cute pecks.. u know. So I go in the water and im like come in. Hes like no he wants to walk on the sand. I was mad but I said fine ill walk and we can talk and chat. Hold hands whatever. .. I seen couples together laying on the beach towels..sitting on rocks..playing in the water...and me and my bf..were walking like arms length apart. He asked me to walk with him but didn't engage with me st all. I felt like I wasnt needed..like y do u want me to walk with u but ur not even looking at me talkimg to me or walking closely. He walked with his head down. I didnt feel sexy at all. I was getting more attention by the male lookers who thot me and my bf were just friends. I had a beach towel for us to lay on and he said "no im not laying on that I dont want to get sand on me bla bla..." I looked at him like...so why did u invite me if u dont wanna do anything I suggest? I feel like am acessory sometimes.
Author FebruaryAmor Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 Why are you still with him again? Emotionally im done with him. We kissed and I felt nothing. Every time I try to leave he does somethiing like takes me a place I wanna go or buys me something he knows I want (sounds stupid)
sillyanswer Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 Emotionally im done with him. We kissed and I felt nothing. Every time I try to leave he does somethiing like takes me a place I wanna go or buys me something he knows I want (sounds stupid) So you're only staying for the things he buys you?
Axee Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 I see a lot of negativity in everyones post "Leave him" "You will find better" Why such opinions on such drastic actions based on a couple of fights ? Having said that, I think OP should leave not because of the guy or the fights, but merely because OP has posted that she doesnt like him.. Every relationship has its quirks, and its upto the individual to really understand and comprehend his or her partner. Do you give enough time to him? Sometimes when I dont get enough time, ( I am not at all clingy) I do the same not fight but complain , its just to get your attention and time.. Oh but I guess you need to understand that on your own .
Dread Pirate Roberts Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 I think he wants to control her. A healthy, mature adult doesn't get all bent because someone has something going on (even if it's sleeping in) already and can't be at their beck and call. Dude needs to get over it and do some maturing. Making the assumption that this is the first time and she's telling the whole truth and all the variables. How do we know he doesn't do a lot for her and she doesn't do much for him?
Treasa Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 Making the assumption that this is the first time and she's telling the whole truth and all the variables. How do we know he doesn't do a lot for her and she doesn't do much for him? I'd be done with anyone who talked to me like that if I told them I didn't want to accompany them and they threw a hissy fit. She said she didn't want to go, and he went off on her. A mature adult would say, "Ok, I understand. Could I maybe borrow your phone until I get my own GPS?" Silly me, having standards and all. All I have to go by is her post, and that's what I commented on, and I stand by my statement. He'd be gone. My SO wouldn't even think of treating me like that, nor would I treat him like that. Looking at her previous posts, I don't think these two should be together at all. It seems really dysfunctional.
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