TheBestisYettoCome Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 Today has been excruciatingly difficult. I packed up my home that I worked so hard to create for her and sold the contents I couldn't take with me. I didn't respond to her text or email yesterday asking me to meet to talk and say goodbye in person because I know it would have absolutely crushed me. Her new relationship has been accepted and I've been in solid no contact for about a month now, but I just need some support today. I want so badly to see her, but I know that her saying "I just wanted you to know I am thinking about you" isn't the thinking about me that I want. I hope that our 3.5 years together and 2 living together are fond memories for her; though she always talked about how unhappy she was in our relationship. I'm still angry that she couldn't give me the year or two that I asked for before she contacted me, but that feeling that she wanted to reach out to see me gives me such anxiety. I know in my heart and my head that she is doing this to get her final closure so she feels that she's made things right after leading me along for those 2 months, so I can't go. Even though to see a smile on her face or to put my arms around her again is the only thing I want right now. In a month, I can write her and tell her why I didn't respond. Tomorrow I move 1,000 miles away from this house and these memories. Tomorrow is the first day of a new life and a new start. I hope my heart comes along for the ride. 1
Echo000 Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 stay strong, you sound like your doing the best you can. my ex wanted to see me before she moves 3000 miles away, but (like you) that would be too dramatic and painful for you. That would bring THEM peace, not us. We must do what is best for us- them wanting to meet up one last time is a way for them to feel good, without any thought or care for us. Good for you man, keep it up. I know how hard it is. 1
Ashlaria Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 Hey there again. You are doing so well, congratulations for not responding I can only imagine how hard that was for you. So you are all ready to go now. Moving 1000 miles is a very brave thing to do and I envy that kind of courage. You get to have a new start away from the memories. I hope everything goes well and you have a safe journey. I look forward to an update on how very excellent everything is and how your new life is even better than you expected. Good luck fella
mbethb Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 Good Luck, Stay Strong! I wish that, on many occasions, I'd had the strength and courage to make those tough decisions!
Darren Steez Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 Brah no need to write to her and explain anything. You said no contact and she didn't respect your wishes, just like she didn't respect you when she did the things she did. You need to stop falling into her trap and making this about her. What is meeting up and saying goodbye meant to do? Make you feel better? Sure as heck not!! She'll salve her guilt, look at you while you make goo goo eyes at her and leave feeling like a million bucks, all the way into the arms of her new man. Keep no contact, and start your new life as far away from her as you can. You owe her nothing. You only owe yourself!
portableversion Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 yeah stay away from her, being led on is horribly cruel. My ex led me on many many times. It was all lies and bs. I wish I did not have kids with her I would move so far away from here and then too I still have to see her. Who knows what lies will come next. But then for me she got married already on july 5th have not even been divorced a year yet. I told her well at least I got clear defined parameters now you can no longer lie to me in such serious ways. Ill never be able to believe anything she says to me. Yeah dude stay away from ur ex. Shell get some sort of sick twisted boost and then go shag her new man, these people are ill and will just hurt us more stay away!!
Author TheBestisYettoCome Posted July 30, 2013 Author Posted July 30, 2013 I just thought I would share a little bit of how this move has impacted me and my healing. I'll start with the ex did reach out after I sent a short text saying good luck and take care. She said me leaving is really hard on her and she couldn't explain why, but it made her sad, hahaha, she's got a lot to learn and I hope the 33 year old (she's 26) she's with can help her through it! I wake up everyday looking out into a harbor on Lake Michigan filled with sailboats from my 47th floor condo and its stunningly beautiful. I can now drive 10 minutes to spend time with my sister and her fiancé, my job pays 15000 more dollars than my previous job, I went to a BBQ this weekend next to wrigley field and 15 of my good college friends were there, and there are so many women here that one should be lucky enough to catch my eye =). I still miss my ex terribly at times, but when you accept to chose the best life possible for yourself and not settle, you might be surprised about how much you truly can accomplish. I've also kept up with my blog that I share on Facebook about my journey through this past year and been amazed at the responses from people. Help others and you will truly help yourself. I'm not past this relationship yet, but when I am, I will have emerged as more of a man than I ever thought was possible. Hang in there and feel everything so that when you change you remember why you wanted to and the changes become a permanent part of who you are. Lots of love to everyone - Chris 4
richard9 Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 Thanks for sharing! Really gives me hope! Unfortunately I cant move far away but I start university in September and im hoping that will be the new start for me. It really shows that moving away from the person and especially the memories really does help. Wish you luck with your new future bro, stay strong.
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