napy666 Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 I'm still thinking about that guy I was talking with for 2 months. He had told me he wanted us to date and for us to get married in the future and how much we had in common, we enjoyed each other's company etc. But in the end it was all lies. So it made me think why would you tell me all of this stuff and then it was just lies? Why do guys do this? How can I trust or tell if another guy in the future isn't doing the same thing to me? Has this ever happened to any of you?
stillafool Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 Mostly it is because when girls believe those statements the sex is better. Trust their actions, not words. 1
jphcbpa Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 how old are you? how long were you dating and how soon did he tell you he wanted to marry you? how soon were you physical?
kiss_andmakeup Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 It didn't raise a red flag when he said he wanted for the two of you to get married after only "talking for two months?" :/ People (not just men) lie for a whole multitude of reasons...in this case, he simply told you what he thought you wanted to hear in order to receive a payoff (sex, companionship, etc). It's not a good thing to do, but there are plenty of people out there who will do it anyways. 1
smile1983 Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 I think some guys do this because they realize that you will not sleep with them if you know that they are only in it for the sex. However, take heart in the knowledge that not all guys are like this. Some guys really mean it when they say these things. Just be careful if they say it too soon, most guys aren't willing to jump into something serious without testing the waters a bit. 1
Author napy666 Posted July 19, 2013 Author Posted July 19, 2013 I have heard stories from people going on a few dates and then got married right away. And a few years ago I broke up with my ex and then just a few days later got into a new relationship but that ended after 3 years haha.
Phantom888 Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 I have heard stories from people going on a few dates and then got married right away. And a few years ago I broke up with my ex and then just a few days later got into a new relationship but that ended after 3 years haha. People can be sincere after a short time. I am madly in love right now, even though I have only known my woman for less than 2 months. This may be rare, but I knew she's perfect for me because I seek specific qualities in a woman, and have not found them previously. Men lie so they can get what they want. As stated above, let their actions speak for them. People can say whatever they want. You just have to be skeptical sometimes...but don't write off the good guys.
Treasa Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 Not all guys lie. However, in knowing your past and even current situation, I think you could do a lot of work in your own life to protect you from the wolves in sheep's clothing, so to speak. I think if you stopped looking for "a guy" to make you happy, you wouldn't be so easily hurt. I also think that if you worked on being more independent in your own life, having a job, supporting yourself, etc., you'll be stronger and will attract better men. That way, even if you get lied to, you know you're going to be just fine. 1
Revolver Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 Not all guys lie that's what you have to remember. Now why do some guys lie? Its because not every man can be 100% honest about who he is and his true intentions and be successful with the women he's going after, its that simple. Think of it like Job applications... You know how there's some people who can be 100% honest about their work history,experience, abilities and have no problems getting hired at the job they want? And then there's people who have to lie their ass off just to get an interview? That's basically it
KathyM Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 Guys who start talking very seriously very early on usually come from two categories: either they are telling you what they think you will need to hear in order to be intimate with them, or it is a red flag for a man who will become an abuser. This is one of the signs of a potential abuser, and that is certainly the way it played out in my older sister's first marriage. He started talking marriage within two weeks of meeting my sister, and sure enough when they got married, he was a controlling ass who, shortly after they got married, became physically abusive. Usually, the former is the reason for coming on way too serious too soon (they are just future faking or engaging in ILYs in order to get you to drop your pants). Real love takes time to develop, and takes getting to actually know a person.
ChessPieceFace Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 Women lie more often than men. You have it easier than we do.
Author napy666 Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 well I don't lie. I mean everything I say when it comes to talking to guys or even internet profiles and pages hahaha.
Author napy666 Posted July 20, 2013 Author Posted July 20, 2013 If a guy asks me to marry him and I said yes he should hold up and mean it and end up marrying in person eventually. Why ask and then not mean it?
BradJacobs Posted July 20, 2013 Posted July 20, 2013 So the people who never lie have never told a white lie, lead someone to believe something that wasn't true by omitting material facts or told their version of the truth knowing full well it wasn't the whole truth? I find that hard to believe as an adult. People lie for all sorts of reasons.
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