diskostu Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 Basically what the headline says. Dating girl exclusively for 2 months. Everything was good. Met 2-4 times a week and had sex regularly. She would call/text pretty much every day. A few weeks ago she went back to her parents for the summer (another city). I texted her four days later and she pretty much insta-texted me back. A few texts back and forth. It's now been 1,5 week and i haven't heard from her. I haven't contacted her in that time. I know she's not that busy, as she has updated her facebook status a couple of times. So what's going on here? Should I just consider myself single again and hit up other girls?
Balzac Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 I don't think it matters. If you date others girls and have sexual w them, be prepared to let the girl know. You sound like young students. Too soon to expect much commitment.
dasein Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 You are at that time in early dating when there may be some "contact games" attempted on both ends. She hasn't called you, but you haven't called her either. Pick up the PHONE not send a text, and call her. Don't act agitated or strange on the phone, just say "hey wanted to hear your voice, how is your summer going?" and then listen. Be upbeat, light and flirty. Listen more than talk, get information more than give it. If I had to make a bet, I'd bet she is upset that you haven't called her, regardless of the fact that she hasn't called you either, and yeah, she may be screwing other guys while there, happens in this situation very regularly... and still be upset you haven't called... just part of their irrational nature. Take the reins and get this figured out. On the chance she has met someone (do not ask about this or make any other insecurity statements when you call) or not interested in dating you any more, this is something you need to know now also, so you can move on. Whatever the result, don't get angry or burn a bridge. If she is screwing others and being sketchy, the summer won't last forever, keep her around without blowing your top for possible sex when she gets back, just write her off as relationship potential.
PCS991 Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 You are at that time in early dating when there may be some "contact games" attempted on both ends. She hasn't called you, but you haven't called her either. Pick up the PHONE not send a text, and call her. Don't act agitated or strange on the phone, just say "hey wanted to hear your voice, how is your summer going?" and then listen. Be upbeat, light and flirty. Listen more than talk, get information more than give it. If I had to make a bet, I'd bet she is upset that you haven't called her, regardless of the fact that she hasn't called you either, and yeah, she may be screwing other guys while there, happens in this situation very regularly... and still be upset you haven't called... just part of their irrational nature. Take the reins and get this figured out. On the chance she has met someone (do not ask about this or make any other insecurity statements when you call) or not interested in dating you any more, this is something you need to know now also, so you can move on. Whatever the result, don't get angry or burn a bridge. If she is screwing others and being sketchy, the summer won't last forever, keep her around without blowing your top for possible sex when she gets back, just write her off as relationship potential. I am experiencing the same thing right now. Good advice.
InsaneTrombone Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 You are at that time in early dating when there may be some "contact games" attempted on both ends. She hasn't called you, but you haven't called her either. Pick up the PHONE not send a text, and call her. Don't act agitated or strange on the phone, just say "hey wanted to hear your voice, how is your summer going?" and then listen. Be upbeat, light and flirty. Listen more than talk, get information more than give it. If I had to make a bet, I'd bet she is upset that you haven't called her, regardless of the fact that she hasn't called you either, and yeah, she may be screwing other guys while there, happens in this situation very regularly... and still be upset you haven't called... just part of their irrational nature. Take the reins and get this figured out. On the chance she has met someone (do not ask about this or make any other insecurity statements when you call) or not interested in dating you any more, this is something you need to know now also, so you can move on. Whatever the result, don't get angry or burn a bridge. If she is screwing others and being sketchy, the summer won't last forever, keep her around without blowing your top for possible sex when she gets back, just write her off as relationship potential. Until it goes to voicemail and then they text you back saying 'You called?'
Author diskostu Posted July 19, 2013 Author Posted July 19, 2013 We've only called each other in the past when it was something important, so it would look out of place if I called all of a sudden now. Maybe she's screwing someone else, but I doubt it. She's been pretty open about her past relationships, so I think I'd know if there was another guy back home for her. We also agreed to take a trip together for a week when she got back. So maybe she just doesn't feel the need to talk to me while she's back home. But why does she feel the need to contact me every day when she's at home? :/
MidwestUSA Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 Until it goes to voicemail and then they text you back saying 'You called?' Isn't this the most annoying? I mean, WTF?!
dasein Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 We've only called each other in the past when it was something important, so it would look out of place if I called all of a sudden now. There's a big problem right there. You have allowed the primary communication means in the relationship to be texting, with all its impersonal potential for misunderstanding. If you want to keep a woman's interest, and not just be another disembodied texting node, communicate with her mostly in person, and when that is not available, on the phone. Part of male power in attraction is in voice and physical presence. Texting pulls the rug right out from under those. Seriously, do you want your primary presence in your woman's mind to be 140 characters of text? Be more physical. She is on vacation. That is out of the ordinary, so use the phone. -You- set the rules and take the reins as to what is "in place" and "out of place." She will follow your lead. Be more assertive about taking the reins because if you leave them to her, she will lose attraction in time and you will be left not hearing from her for a week wondering why as you are now. Women don't want to be dominated, but they do want to be led by a secure man. They also need to always feel they are with a man who knows what he wants and that "what" is her. 140 characters can't keep that dynamic in tune. Sorry to sound preachy, but step up and take some initiative. If you are concerned enough about this to make a thread here, you are concerned enough to take action that gives you a clear answer, and to be more assertive going forward. Good luck.
Author diskostu Posted July 19, 2013 Author Posted July 19, 2013 There's a big problem right there. You have allowed the primary communication means in the relationship to be texting, with all its impersonal potential for misunderstanding. If you want to keep a woman's interest, and not just be another disembodied texting node, communicate with her mostly in person, and when that is not available, on the phone. Part of male power in attraction is in voice and physical presence. Texting pulls the rug right out from under those. Seriously, do you want your primary presence in your woman's mind to be 140 characters of text? Be more physical. She is on vacation. That is out of the ordinary, so use the phone. -You- set the rules and take the reins as to what is "in place" and "out of place." She will follow your lead. Be more assertive about taking the reins because if you leave them to her, she will lose attraction in time and you will be left not hearing from her for a week wondering why as you are now. Women don't want to be dominated, but they do want to be led by a secure man. They also need to always feel they are with a man who knows what he wants and that "what" is her. 140 characters can't keep that dynamic in tune. Sorry to sound preachy, but step up and take some initiative. If you are concerned enough about this to make a thread here, you are concerned enough to take action that gives you a clear answer, and to be more assertive going forward. Good luck. Thanks. Some good advice there. I guess texting was laziness on my part. She texted me constantly and I usually answered. Although shorter and more sporadically. I texted mostly to make plans when and where to meet up. But I can see your point.
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