along60years Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 Maybe some of you have read my story, so I will make this part brief. Together 6.5 years, lived together 4, last one long distance, broken up for 6 months. 1st ~ difficult phones calls, sadness, confusion, and questions, 46 days NC, low contact since then with me initiating every 1-3 weeks and him calling me the next couple days to keep the conversation going. Last time we talked was 7/1 and at the end he asked if he should call again sometime soon, and I said sure. Now I haven't heard anything. That conversation was not so great because I'd had a bad day and didn't feel like talking much so I kept it short. I don't know where to go from here. We don't text, or e-mail, these phone calls are the only contact we have had since we broke up and have not seen each other. He always has a lot to say, but the tempo is always so calm like we are both trying to keep the conversation controlled. He tells me about his life and how he's feeling, things he is improving on that bothered me like his smoking, etc. I don't know what to do now though. Talking every couple of weeks is just making things more difficult. I feel like we need to either talk more often to progress or go NC. I wish I could get a better read on him, but I can't seem to create that connection over the phone, the emotional intimacy that is so much easier in person. I know that I have given this all so much time, but what is too much time when I can't imagine my life without him. He just gave up and I can't tell what happened. It's like I hurt him more than I realized and now he's just hidden away afraid to let me in again. Okay, going to stop writing now before I get too upset. Day to day I am okay, but I can't imagine my life without him and I just don't know what to do. How does it feel to be on the other side of this? Am I just helping him taper off of our relationship and move on, helping him get used to not having me in his life or can we move forward progressively and have a chance to let a new relationship evolve if we maintain regular and real communication? Should I try to see him in person, I mentioned it is passing not long ago and he seemed open to it, but I never revisited the idea because I am afraid that it would be hard.
Philosoraptor Posted July 19, 2013 Posted July 19, 2013 You are wiser than you are giving yourself credit for. The clearest answer is yes, you are filling a void and allowing him to move on easier. If he has not put in the effort to make this what you want it to be, then you need to take care of yourself and cut all contact. Focus on yourself and healing, not getting him back. Find happiness from within and in the rest of your life. 1
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